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Abortion..Unplanned pregnancy

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I am in a bit of a pickle and I need advice from all the mums and dads out there. I relieved myself 3 weeks ago. My +1 missed her period and then she got concerned. After waiting a week and still no s… Read More
zworld Avatar
1w, 3d agoPosted 1 week, 3 days ago
I am in a bit of a pickle and I need advice from all the mums and dads out there.
I relieved myself 3 weeks ago. My +1 missed her period and then she got concerned. After waiting a week and still no sign of her period, she took a preg test and tested positive!

I decided to avoid the slow NHS and go private. I paid for a consultation with Marie Stopes clinic. Yesterday, the consultant saw her but didn't let me tag along! We were then informed that she is 6 weeks preg (??) and she has to go see her GP to do these tests :
FBC
LFTS
HIV
Until she gets these tests done by her GP, they won't proceed and let her have the abortion pills. I know from experience that when a GP asks for a test done, the NHS hospital gives you a date months later.
Can I not get these tests done privately? And, why is this preg duration incorrect ?
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zworld Avatar
1w, 3d agoPosted 1 week, 3 days ago
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I get LFTS and FBC done all the time here in ireland, nurse at the gps takes the blood and the dr has the results next day. I would advise going to the GP and asking how long the tests take and if there is somewhere else they could be done quicker, But im sure the the tests are necessary for the health of your girlfriend. FBC , is a full blood count and looks at what her platelets , red and white blood cells are , and LFT is a liver function test.

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Responses/page:
#1
I have no answer for any questions, and no experience in this, but I hope that you and your girlfriend make the right decision for you both and that you can get through this together.

It will be a lot for you both to take in, especially your girlfriend. Take your time, don't feel rushed, and also talk to each other rather than sweeping things under the carpet.

Good luck and take care.
#2
It's not really the mums and dads you need advice from in fairness is it flower?

Is the NHS slow on these things? I really doubt it would take months of waiting, it's a bit hard to have an abortion on the child's third birthday.

How do you know about tests and abortions from past experience or is it just general appointments? I would imagine you can get any tests done private, you think Kate and Wills would be waiting for months?

Good luck whatever happens.
#3
I don't know anything about the termination but they count the start of the pregnancy from the last period not from intercourse date.
#4
BTW, whenever a GP has given me a blood test form I've been told to go to the hospital pathology lab, which is a drop-in thing and open from 8am - 7pm.

It's never had bloods for that specific reason, more routine ones for medical problems, but I can't see why you'd have to wait to have any bloods taken. It's usually just a case of the GP printing a form you take to the hospital path lab who will see you within 10mins to 4 hours depending on how busy they are. I suggest avoiding Monday mornings at the path lab as they're usually crazy busy.
#5
I get LFTS and FBC done all the time here in ireland, nurse at the gps takes the blood and the dr has the results next day. I would advise going to the GP and asking how long the tests take and if there is somewhere else they could be done quicker, But im sure the the tests are necessary for the health of your girlfriend. FBC , is a full blood count and looks at what her platelets , red and white blood cells are , and LFT is a liver function test.
#6
http://www.nhs.uk/Conditions/Abortion/Pages/How-is-it-performed.aspx

as stated by Graham1979 I doubt the NHS will delay the procedure so long as everything is in order.

I don't know much about this topic but I understood that even young teens could grab the morning after pill direct from certain pharmacies and therefore can't understand why anyone would think getting what seems a very early pregnancy terminated would take "too long"

And to add further
If you didn't want her to get pregnant and she wasn't on the pill why didn't you wear something?
#7
Termination? Wow never thought I'd be reading this on this site. Asking parents for advice can be upsetting for some as they can't imagine a life without their kids. Sorry but I think you need to speak to gp practice not ask on a deal website.
#8
@honeyblossom_01 A bit compassion required here. I've no advice but hope you get things sorted as you require.
#9
Trust me in this situation the NHS won't be slow, go speak to your doctor. I unfortunately know from personal experience. Not judging but our decision was forced on us, you have the mercy of a choice in one sense.
#10
philphil61

If you didn't want her to get pregnant and she wasn't on the pill why didn't you wear something?
It was accidental. And, we didn't think much of it at the time.
#11
Go and see your GP. GP'S don't judge and will give you all the information you need\want. A termination can harbour feelings long into adulthood so don't try and sweep it under the carpet now. Good luck with whatever you do.

Edited By: darlodge on Jul 15, 2017 00:23: Edited from the official Android app
#12
as said above, just get the blood forms printed and go to the phlebs int he hospital, usually take a ticket type thing, and they take the blood then. In my experience TOP are usually pretty quick even if you go NHS, as its just the 1 consultation if theyre not being iffy.
#13
surprised no one has answered the incorrect date part with "maybe it's not yours"
#14
dataload
surprised no one has answered the incorrect date part with "maybe it's not yours"


Guess it's been asked now.
#15
The date of the pregnancy is taken from the date of the last period. Assuming that was a couple of weeks before the event and the fact you waited a week to confirm matters, that would make the date about right. As for the rest, see your gp immediately. They will have these tests done in a day or two.
#16
zworld
It was accidental. And, we didn't think much of it at the time.

It was accidental? You accidentally had sex? Whatever you decide, if you don't want a baby, sort out some proper contraception.
#17
this is basic blood test
FBC - check your urea and electrolytes, CRP (inflammatory marker) white/red blood cells haemoglobin, platelets, and and stuff like neutrophils and eosinophils (plus few more) this is to check for signs of anaemia/bleeding and infection, dehydration and few other bits.
LFTS are basically liver function tests
HIV is obvious

Go to the GP tell them what happened ask for the blood test. take the paper go to the blood clinic in your local hospital (every hospital has this).
Blood test take few hours to be examined. then it takes the doctor about 2-4 days to receive them (depending on the system they have in place)

Did you talk about this with your partner or is it your decision or you coherced her into this?? was she told pros and cons of abortion, impact on mental health?
And lastly in todays day and age there is no such thing as accidental pregnancy. It's like saying I accidentally drove 70 on a 30 road and killed someone, I accidentally did not put a seatbelt on, I accidentally gambled all my money.

Edited By: mattsokolinski on Jul 15, 2017 09:17:
#18
You don't need any hospital appointments, you need 1 pill.
If she is old enough to have a baby then let her have it if she wants to. Next time when you relief yourself be careful
#19
dataload
surprised no one has answered the incorrect date part with "maybe it's not yours"


It's not.. that's why he wants rid so fast :/

Crazy times..
#20
Whatever happened to making love/having sex? 'I relieved myself' oO oOoO
#21
Doctors count pregnancy from the first day of your last period. But the conception will be 2-3 weeks later so you aren't actually pregnant for the first couple of weeks, that's just when the egg is released and makes its way down the tube. That's why the dates seem out.
#22
http://www.healthline.com/health/pregnancy/week-two

Every baby book etc will tell you how the first two weeks of pregnancy you aren't actually pregnant. Anyone with children should know this really
#23
Why not keep the baby?
#24
Donkii
"I am in a bit of a pickle"
You make it sound like you misplaced your car keys. Next time you need "relieving" maybe have a **** instead

:D
#25
https://hips.hearstapps.com/cosmouk.cdnds.net/15/15/1428585988-jeremy-kyle.png
#26
Let it live. It's life is not yours to terminate.
#27
tempt
Let it live. It's life is not yours to terminate.

Why don't they ask their MP?

Keep your opinion to yourself. It's their decision to make not feel pressured by those with too high of an opinion of themselves.

Edited By: BarmyBulldog on Jul 15, 2017 13:06
#28
mutley1
Why not keep the baby?
Do you honestly think they sound like they would make good parents?
#29
Something wrong here. Why is 'she' not on here asking the questions after you accidentally 'relieved' yourself? Is she 12? Is she your sister? oO What does she want to do?

Others are correct in saying that dating of the pregnancy starts from the first day of the last menstrual period (LMP); ovulation and conception occur mid-cycle, typically 2 weeks from the LMP. If your partner has irregular periods and ovulates later in her cycle, then this may be a sign of PCOS and fertility issues; if it does turn out that she has fertility problems and she terminates what could be a healthy baby, would she come to regret it? This scenario seems even more likely if you have been having regular, unprotected sex without a pregnancy. It's still very early on and still a chance the pregnancy will end spontaneously.

Getting the blood tests ordered by your GP is straightforward. FBC and LFTs are run routinely several times a day, whilst HIV tests may be batched and take a day or two longer, but they will be back within days. This is a standard precaution to look for anaemia, bleeding and/or liver problems and infection which may complicate treatment. The treatment includes Mifepristone (an antiprogestogen) and Misoprolol (a prostaglandin analogue), which as with any drugs may produce side effects.

Edited By: missleading on Jul 15, 2017 13:14
#30
psychobitchfromhell
Do you honestly think they sound like they would make good parents?

My parents were no good either and I was not planned! My mum said I was the best thing that happened to her. Didn't do me any harm :D
#31
mutley1
psychobitchfromhell
Do you honestly think they sound like they would make good parents?
My parents were no good either and I was not planned! My mum said I was the best thing that happened to her. Didn't do me any harm :D
I remember my younger and very much planned sister asking my dad if she was an accident. He was a man of few and chosen words. Accident? You were a bl@@dy Armageddon was his reply.
#32
Some very good responses. I owe you all drinks.
The decision was mutual but was first suggested by her.
#33
zworld
Some very good responses. I owe you all drinks.
The decision was mutual but was first suggested by her.
A tough decision but if it is the right one for both of you then no one here has the right to judge. Just be more careful in future.
#34
zworld
Some very good responses. I owe you all drinks.
The decision was mutual but was first suggested by her.

My oldest daughter was unplanned, but despite being terrified I chose to keep her. I told my mum (who is pro life I would add) and even though I had already decided to keep the baby she made me phone a pregnancy charity. She wanted me to be able to think about all options and possibilities outcomes of my decision.

I'm guessing that you and your girlfriend are very young and that's why you are making this choice? And it could be the best choice for you, but you also need to remember that an abortion cannot be undone and it could be something that haunts the two of you forever and you may regret it. So don't rush into it in case it is regretted, it's not an easy decision. It might be a good idea to talk to someone about the options first, even if you don't change your mind, at least you will always know that you looked at all options and made the best choice.
#35
psychobitchfromhell
zworld
Some very good responses. I owe you all drinks.
The decision was mutual but was first suggested by her.
A tough decision but if it is the right one for both of you then no one here has the right to judge. Just be more careful in future.

Both of us had heard from other couples that it took them years to have kids blah blah you have to take folic acid blah blah concieving is not easy. So, we were utterly surprised..
#36
farmlama
zworld
Some very good responses. I owe you all drinks.
The decision was mutual but was first suggested by her.
My oldest daughter was unplanned, but despite being terrified I chose to keep her. I told my mum (who is pro life I would add) and even though I had already decided to keep the baby she made me phone a pregnancy charity. She wanted me to be able to think about all options and possibilities outcomes of my decision.
I'm guessing that you and your girlfriend are very young and that's why you are making this choice? And it could be the best choice for you, but you also need to remember that an abortion cannot be undone and it could be something that haunts the two of you forever and you may regret it. So don't rush into it in case it is regretted, it's not an easy decision. It might be a good idea to talk to someone about the options first, even if you don't change your mind, at least you will always know that you looked at all options and made the best choice.

Excellent response. The OP might not have experienced grief, but until you truly experience mental issues you just can't understand. Whatever you choose it will be with you for life, and probably think about it most days.
#37
Sorry just to add. If it was suggested by her, women usually ask questions like this to gauge your feelings.
If you truly love her then OMG yes I want your baby!
If you aren't sure it makes her unsure.
#38
zworld
Both of us had heard from other couples that it took them years to have kids blah blah you have to take folic acid blah blah concieving is not easy. So, we were utterly surprised..

Wow! I'm 'utterly surprised' people are still so ignorant! I think you both need some sexual education to be honest. It wouldn't surprise me if you thought that girls can't fall pregnant if she's on top/standing up/on her period. News flash: IT ONLY TAKES THE ONCE!!!!!!!
#39
What an odd choice of words.

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