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Help for kids in school with issues

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Probably the wrong place to ask this (HUKD is trolltastic) But the small person has attachment issues, the school has him pegged as a bullying risk as they consider him vulnerable, they have a scho… Read More
Error440 Avatar
2m, 4w agoPosted 2 months, 4 weeks ago
Probably the wrong place to ask this (HUKD is trolltastic)

But the small person has attachment issues, the school has him pegged as a bullying risk as they consider him vulnerable, they have a school counselor but the kids have to specifically write a note and drop it in a box to say they want to see the counselor, i have talked the counselor into seeing him without his permission once, he says hes very confused and conflicted, he is angry at his dad and hates him but also loves and misses him, he doesn't understand why any of this is happening and he knows he's different and is very anxious. I know as does the whole school that he has attachment issues.

He got upset on the bus home the yesterdayay because a kid was questioning him wanting to know why his dad doesn't live with us, and according to him he's the only one in his class who doesn't live with a mummy and daddy.

The teacher of his class is not great she has some sympathy but not half as much as i think she should really, i don't think she fully understands the gravity of the situation.

So is there anywhere i can go for help and advice other then dragging him round a GP, is there any Charities that maybe go into school to help or maybe offer some outside play groups or something, hes 6 years old will be 7 soon.

I tried posting on the forum for the gingerbread Charity but my post seemed to die in the mod queue and that place is dead anyway.
Error440 Avatar
2m, 4w agoPosted 2 months, 4 weeks ago
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#1
You tried mumsnet? I'm not sure a Deals site is the best place for proper advice.
#2
If the teacher of the child isn't being helpful take it a step higher and see the headteacher, if that doesn't help you can try the governors of the school if you feel that the school isn't pulling it's weight. If something isn't addressed now it will develop into a bigger problem later on (I am not trying to scare you just put across the importance of the situation).

Try to think what you want the outcome to be before seeing the headteacher as it's much easier if you can go in with a aim or a goal.

I agree with BagABargain78 but there are things you can try.

Edited By: Westwoodo on Jan 28, 2017 13:28
#3
Hi, I understand this must be a difficult issues for you. But I agree with what Westwoodo says about clarifying the the purpose of what you are trying to achieve here.

From what you said, it sounds to me that you think the little one has attachment issues. Why did you think he has such issues? Has he been diagnosed with such condition by professionals? If so, did they give any advice as to how to support him? There is a good book for practical strategies to support little ones with attachment difficulties: https://www.amazon.co.uk/Inside-Hurting-Strategies-Supporting-Difficulties/dp/1903269113


If the school flags up him potentially being bullied, then they would have a duty of care to make sure the little one is safe and secure. Are there any other interventions already in place for him? What has been working well?

Childline and NSPCC are both good charities that you can find someone to talk to. However, while I understand your concerns re taking him to a GP, your GP and/ or the school is a good point of call to refer the little one to CAMHS (Children and Mental Health Service) for further support. HTH

Edited By: Hker on Jan 28, 2017 14:13
#4
Kids are very resilient but these sorts of changes have a massive impact on them i agree with previous poster maybe try speaking to the head but think about what you want as an outcome and try to find a way to work towards it. Does he have any hobbies or are there clubs or classes in your area that he could go to maybe they would help build his confidence. It's sad he has to deal with awkward conversations with other children that don't really understand but try and explain to him that every family does have their share of difficulties it's just different things for each person. Hopefully things get better soon
#5
BagABargain78
You tried mumsnet? I'm not sure a Deals site is the best place for proper advice.

I got banned by them years ago for saying someone deserved a slap.
#6
Hker
Hi, I understand this must be a difficult issues for you. But I agree with what Westwoodo says about clarifying the the purpose of what you are trying to achieve here.

From what you said, it sounds to me that you think the little one has attachment issues. Why did you think he has such issues? Has he been diagnosed with such condition by professionals? If so, did they give any advice as to how to support him? There is a good book for practical strategies to support little ones with attachment difficulties: https://www.amazon.co.uk/Inside-Hurting-Strategies-Supporting-Difficulties/dp/1903269113


If the school flags up him potentially being bullied, then they would have a duty of care to make sure the little one is safe and secure. Are there any other interventions already in place for him? What has been working well?

Childline and NSPCC are both good charities that you can find someone to talk to. However, while I understand your concerns re taking him to a GP, your GP and/ or the school is a good point of call to refer the little one to CAMHS (Children and Mental Health Service) for further support. HTH


Cheers for that, i don't really know i guess what i was thinking was like a group of similar kids he could meet up with or something that could be done in the school they have people come in about road safety and healthy eating to educate the kids, like someone to do a talk to the other kids about how its not nice to single people out even if you don't realise your doing it.
#7
Just a thought and you've probably already thought of this but have you though of any after school clubs like beavers? This may help build confidence and it's not a school environment. They do lots of great activities.
#8
You could ask your GP for a camhs refferal, I think school can refer to or your local council family service again I think you need a referral. Both are really good, you may get support for yourself as well from family services x
#9
http://www.youngminds.org.uk/for_parents/services_children_young_people/counselling_children_young_people

Also, ask the school to talk to the children generally about different types of families as part of their PHSE curriculum.
#10
I completely empathise with your situation because I was in the same situation when I was young.

May I recommend that you try taking him to a martial arts or boxing club because if he gets into the habit of attending, it will do wonders for his confidence and it is a great way of keeping fit and releiving stress.

As an adult, I have also done a lot of work with children and young people over the years and the above can really help in some instances.

My advice would be to keep away from the G.P and find a natural way of exerting his frustration.

I would be happy to advise of this thread if you wish to PM me.
#11
You have my sympathy.
#12
Error440
BagABargain78
You tried mumsnet? I'm not sure a Deals site is the best place for proper advice.

I got banned by them years ago for saying someone deserved a slap.


LoL. Ooopsy
#13
Does the child live with you or are you just noticing this and trying to help out? Depending on your involvement in the child's life you can speak to the school and social services - if he doesn't live with his parents I assume he is either on a special guardianship order or fostered or living with extended family long term (?) either way there should be social services involvement. The school will have a designated child protection/safeguarding officer who you can speak to who should be able to signpost to local services or you can ring social services direct and express your concerns.
#14
I agree with bug0109. Bearers are great. My kid has been in the scouting movement since he was six and they have been fantastic and completely non judgmental even though he has aspergers.
#15
We have something called Step One that's counselling for kids, my eldest suffers from anxiety he's a bit too smart for his own good & it causes him to worry about things most kids don't even think about.

We saw our gp who referred him for the counselling service but turns out you can just phone & self refer.

They did a lot of work with him, taught him visualisation techniques, meditation.

Each time he had a 1 hour session, we sat outside whilst he talked to the counsellor, did some drawings whilst he talked so he opened up really really helped him a lot I'd highly recommend finding your local service (call gp & ask) & going for it
#16
Hi Error,
I am always disappointed when I hear a teacher has let a child down. You may be right, that the little ones class teacher hasn't grasped the gravity of the situation. So far the advice on here on all fronts seems solid.
On the school front, sad to say, they have no budget or responsibility to 'diagnose' children's issues. (This is incredibly frustrating as a teacher). However, you must encourage whom ever has parental responsibility to get this young person a proper diagnosis if you think they need real support in school. This might be one heck of a battle, it might be fairly simple. Either way it will be worth it. If you believe that with guidance and counselling that they will improve, focus on this first. I wish you luck.

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