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just started new job and manager is rude and nasty to me.

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I've just started a new job two days ago in retail and the manager has been nothing but downright rude to me since the minute I started. She makes me feel stupid, she is rude, she hadn't introduced me…
traythegreat Avatar
4m, 2w agoPosted 4 months, 2 weeks ago
I've just started a new job two days ago in retail and the manager has been nothing but downright rude to me since the minute I started. She makes me feel stupid, she is rude, she hadn't introduced me to my colleagues, didn't offer me a brew when she was making one, tuts and rolls her eyes when I answer questions wrong, and much more. I'm devastated as I left a job of 8 years for this. I need to address her behaviour as it's making me really upset and I don't want her to see I'm upset as she'll see this as a sign of weakness and probably do it even more! She said to me today (my second day) oh you haven't quit yet! You're not normal if you don't consider quitting within the first couple of days in a new job! What type of manager says stuff like that!! How do I deal with this behaviour without sounding confrontational please? I'm a 45 year old woman and she speaks to me like I'm a stupid child! :(
traythegreat Avatar
4m, 2w agoPosted 4 months, 2 weeks ago
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Top Responses

(1)
judderman
I'd say to her. I'm surprised you're still hear with that attitude, and then do a Clarkson on her!
Good luck be strong. :3


Ha ha... Sounds like a plan.... I'll do that if I ever win the lottery! Thanks ;)

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#1
Have you tried to ask for an informal meeting where you can ask her to meet colleagues, discuss the job or set goals etc. That way you aren't being confrontational and hopefully your friendly attitude may win her over. It also shows your keen on the job and have aspirations.

If that doesn't help, maybe you need to talk to the person that offered you the job or HR?
#2
Stand up to her in front of others. Its daunting i know but try to find a weakness in her is she fat squint eye big nose? Not nice i know but by what you said this woman deserves it

Sounds like shes a bully best way to defeat a bully is to challenge them as aggresively as your capable of they will back down. Good luck
#3
No one deserves that treatment, but it could be that the manager is unhappy with their job so taking it out on their staff. Either that or they are just a crap manager.

Try to make friends with other staff and get a gauge on how they feel or are treated by the manager, I wouldn't be so blunt and ask outright as you won't know others loyalties or freindships yet. Was it this manager who interviewed you? You were obviously successful and wanted otherwise they wouldn't have employed you, try and keep positive and ignore it for now if you can.
#4
Your new so guessing testing the way you react for future.

Best keep squeaky clean ignore it but document everything for possible future use..

It's not easy starting new, but good luck.
#5
YouDontWantToKnow
If you are a 45 year old... How about standing up for yourself, say what you want to say & ask for your old job back?


I left my old job because I couldn't afford to live off my wage after the hours were cut, and I'd love to stand up to this bully but I'd be out of the door and out of a job in no time if I do that after two days I imagine :(
#6
I'd say to her. I'm surprised you're still hear with that attitude, and then do a Clarkson on her!
Good luck be strong. :3
#7
She was t the person that interviewed me, that was the area manager, and it seems like him and this bully are best buddies. I don't know if to say something to her like ' I get the impression you don't like me, can you explain why? Have I done something wrong?' How would that sound do you think? I've never encountered anyone like this woman so am not sure how to deal with it, being the 'newbie' too I don't want to jeopardise my new job.
#8
judderman
I'd say to her. I'm surprised you're still hear with that attitude, and then do a Clarkson on her!
Good luck be strong. :3


Ha ha... Sounds like a plan.... I'll do that if I ever win the lottery! Thanks ;)
#9
traythegreat
She was t the person that interviewed me, that was the area manager, and it seems like him and this bully are best buddies. I don't know if to say something to her like ' I get the impression you don't like me, can you explain why? Have I done something wrong?' How would that sound do you think? I've never encountered anyone like this woman so am not sure how to deal with it, being the 'newbie' too I don't want to jeopardise my new job.


​I wouldn't want to go down that line of accusing her of not liking you. Tough call but I would start with the nice approach.
#10
I agree. Document her comments and inappropriate actions. Records the date/ time /what is said.

Hopefully she is just throwing her weight around to show she is boss.

I would give her a couple of weeks.

If she doesn't improve, I would then gauge if you have witnesses to back you up, and go to HR

This kind of bullying behaviour is not tolerated in most decent organisations.
#11
good luck. looks like you are being tested. Good luck as sounds horrible what you are experiencing. :(
#12
most retail management are like this even if it's supermarkets. is it because you are timed for the work and you can't reach the goals in time ?
if she's being pure ignorant for no good reason then I'd video cam it ;) lots if hidden cameras to buy!
if she asks you again haven't you quitted yet , say I'm staying here love till I get my pension, so then she'll shut up. just reply back, she's a woman and so are you!
#13
I don't expect someone to make tea when i was in the staff room, sounds like she thinks your useless and is trying to force you out, so just ignore it when she realises your not going she will back off
#14
Where do you work, I'll come in..
#15
In all seriousness, if she does it tomorrow, just say to her in a stern voice, can I have a quiet word please and lead the way. Look her in her eyes and say that you're not here to be treated this way, you were obviously hired for a reason, you have something you can being to the company, you deserve the same respect, raining and acknowledgement as the other staff. You should've been given an induction, you should be given a training plan, had your expectations laid out in black And white so you can attempt to achieve your targets. If she has a boss advise her if it continues you won't hesitate to escalate this further, and if her boss doesn't listen you should..Must go to CAB. ACAS also sets guidelines for how people should be trained and generally treated etc as well as grievance and disciplinary procedures. You are also covered by the human rights act. Do not take any more of this nonsense.
#16
You have to stand up to it. Many years ago my wife was bullied by the manager at her work. Big company macdonalds resorts. She was called to a disciplinary meeting and under scottish law at the time you could take anybody with you as a witness even id theyre outwith the company.

I went with her to be told by the manager i wasnt allowed to attend the meeting as it was company policy. He was told clearly that their company policy is irrelevant as it doesnt overrule the law of the land and if he would like some time to consult with his superiors and confirm what i had told him we were willing to wait

Meeting over disciplinary dropped and he didnt last long in the job after wed told the rest of the staff what happened at the meeting he was considered a bit of a joke after that

People who act the way your boss does usually do it because they feek inadequate and try to project it to others. Bide your time work smart take any oppurtunity you can to undermine and belittke her youll be ceo by the end of the week lol
#17
Make a formal complaint, find out the procedure. Write down everything. I swear once you make the complaint see how nice they become. Don't worry you won't lose your job. The complaint will work for you. I know it's scary for new jobs and people are afraid of losing their job but it actually does the opposite and they would have to take it serious from a new worker, if they don't, ask them what's the next process as you are not being taken seriously. And if I can help by coming in as a customer and making a complaint about your manager let me know if you are local.

Edited By: MR1123 on Oct 05, 2016 22:16
#18
Most of all don't take on her problems, you shouldn't feel concerned or upset if you are doing your job. Try and make friends quickly with other members of staff, if you can get to people above her all the better. Eventually if she doesn't stop you will need to confront here by saying something like "do you know how upsetting those remarks are to me". You need to show your concerned about her attitude to you. Try not to do that in front of others but tell others that you have spoken to her. If she continues take it to the next step and go above her knowing that you can tell them that you tried to speak to her and nothing changed. This sets the problem very much in her hands and puts you as the victim and not as a moaner (as she might claim later).

Might be an idea also to look for another job or suss out if it's possible to go back to your old one.
#19
Maybe slightly unorthodox, but I had a similar situation a couple of years ago. I asked this guy to come and look at something, which just happened to be in an area not covered by cctv. I decided this would be an ideal time to 'politely' tell him to stop. A few weeks later he got a transfer elsewhere.
#20
It's just what you need to expect with retail, it comes with the territory. I'd just move to a different sector as retail seems to really attract power mad washouts. Had quite a few back when I unfortunately worked in it. People thinking they were a big shot because they were a section manager of about 6 shelves in a supermarket. Gave me some pleasure when I got my new job and they tried to put me down about it and asked me how much I was going to earn etc and then I leaped straight over the top of their poxy 'managers' salary, knocked them down a peg or two.

Edited By: dcx_badass on Oct 05, 2016 23:45
banned#21
Make her punch you in a gobber , get it on tape, sue the company for millions, retire?
#22
traythegreat
YouDontWantToKnow
If you are a 45 year old... How about standing up for yourself, say what you want to say & ask for your old job back?
I left my old job because I couldn't afford to live off my wage after the hours were cut, and I'd love to stand up to this bully but I'd be out of the door and out of a job in no time if I do that after two days I imagine :(

I would respond but my post has been deleted for some bizarre reason.
#23
There is always two sides to every story and I'm not saying she isn't being rude, but some of those things seem trivial or you misinterpreting her.

The tutting and eye rolls can be taken as either being rude/sarcastic or making a bit of a joke that you don't know the answer.
Not introducing you seems a little strange, but if it's a high turn over job or lots of training there might be a team building exercise planned for later in the week.
If she made a brew for herself and someone else, but didn't offer you then yes that's out of order. However if she made herself a brew and there was all the equipment for making brews she was probably expecting you to take the initiative and make your own.
As for the comment about quitting it sounded like a joke which you took seriously so she back peddled and tried to make you feel OK if it was what you wanted.


Like I said she might be the devil's mistress and truly evil, but I find it best to take everything with a pinch of salt until you can gauge if it's just there humour/personality or if they are truly horrible people.

I've worked with people that you think God they are a holes only to realise they are actually really nice just a dark/dry humour and other were you think that seems a bit rude and they turn out to be the biggest a hole ever.

Edited By: joedastudd on Oct 06, 2016 00:11
#24
Keep your head down, eyes and ears open and mouth shut for a few weeks - get to know other staff and ignore the insolent woman. Managers in retail are often like this - power hungry and letting it all go to their heads. You can try taking it on, but in reality the stress may be too much - there are plenty of other retail jobs out there if it doesn't improve. You could try places that are well known to treat staff well, such as Co-op, Boots, Asda...

Best wishes for a happy future.

Edited By: Mermoo on Oct 06, 2016 00:42
#25
Is the Area Manager who interviewed you a man? If he is,is there any chance the woman manager and him have a thing going on and he told her how nice you are.
#26
Tread carefully, standing up to her is something you can't go back on if it doesn't go well. Many company's LOVE an **** of a manager as it gets the most out of the employees and therefore maintains the company's bottom line (sad but true). As others have stated; make friends, feel out the situation as it applies to others, if the manager is chummy with the area manager this will make things very difficult and as a new hire it's easy to label you as 'trouble'.

Take your time, don't rush anything and gather info for a reasonable defense.

Last daft tip: Don't ever swear, it can be used against you to immediately end potentially productive discussions!
#27
Can't you speak to the manager above them? There has to be someone above her, it's difficult when you are just starting.
I had a colleague in a previous job who hated me and I had no idea why, I was just nice and actually did something for them without asking and he became my friend when he realised I wasn't the **** he thought I was.
#28
123batman321
try to find a weakness in her is she fat squint eye big nose?
Care to explain Which ones of these are weaknesses and why?
#29
ipswich78
123batman321
try to find a weakness in her is she fat squint eye big nose?
Care to explain Which ones of these are weaknesses and why?


Weakness is the wrong word im fairly porky myself and hve keratakonus in my right eye but usually someone acting like this is trying to project their own insecurities. Didnt mean to offend
#30
is she doing it in front of customers too,
#31
123batman321
ipswich78
123batman321
try to find a weakness in her is she fat squint eye big nose?
Care to explain Which ones of these are weaknesses and why?
Weakness is the wrong word im fairly porky myself and hve keratakonus in my right eye but usually someone acting like this is trying to project their own insecurities. Didnt mean to offend
Good response, didn't offend just thought it was very harsh. Yes, insecurities is probably the most suitable word.
#32
In my experience retail is usually full of young staff, school/college leavers and the managers (who are usually power mad) get used to being able to talk to them how they please and will never hear a word back except from those who say something along the lines of 'f**k this I'm going' hence the 'oh you haven't left yet comment' the people who stick around are those who will take her s**t... you don't have to. Confront her in a mature way, something she won't be used to. Next time she says something you don't like, tell her you would like a word, pull her aside and tell her how you feel. Explain that you choose to work in retail because it works well for you, your here to do your job and enjoy it as much as possible at the same time and she is making both of those difficult, explain that you have started a new job and haven't even been introduced to your colleagues and ask how she would feel in the same situation. Keep your cool and take her power away by showing the only control she has over you is in the professional relationship. Once she knows you won't take the same crap she gives to the younger staff she'll stop, at the end of the day even she wants an easy life and won't want a confrontation every day.
#33
ipswich78
123batman321
ipswich78
123batman321
try to find a weakness in her is she fat squint eye big nose?
Care to explain Which ones of these are weaknesses and why?
Weakness is the wrong word im fairly porky myself and hve keratakonus in my right eye but usually someone acting like this is trying to project their own insecurities. Didnt mean to offend
Good response, didn't offend just thought it was very harsh. Yes, insecurities is probably the most suitable word.


Aye id say insecure is a far better choice of words nothin wrong wi bein fat ive managed orite for the last ten years or so lol
#34
Have a notebook on you at all times. When she is rude simply take out the book and write down what she said or did. When she asks what you're doing,and she will,explain you're documenting EVERYTHING.
#35
You got me at... didnt make me a brew. Now that just takes it to a whole new level for me
#36
She seems a weak individual who has to throw her weight round to feel good as she may not have a good life herself.... Ignore her or complain to higher management but try not to get too upset ..Just not worth it!
#37
Some really great comments here so thanks guys, you've made me feel i can manage to ignore this woman's bad behaviour, and eventually move on if necessary ;)
#38
what company? someone on here will most likely know your area manager, we know everyone
#39
My advice - rub along with the douche until you've found another job that will allow you to keep the bills paid and disappear.
Don't make anything personal because it won't benefit you professionally.
Your wellbeing is the most important thing (unless you're on £100k salary or something and making bank in this job ROFL!)
#40
KHITC :D

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