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non resident parents rights

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evening all. Could the good people of hduk give me some advice re rights to know what police/social service activity is happening with an ex. I split from my ex about 7 years ago and have two kids … Read More
si1234 Avatar
6m, 1w agoPosted 6 months, 1 week ago
evening all. Could the good people of hduk give me some advice re rights to know what police/social service activity is happening with an ex.
I split from my ex about 7 years ago and have two kids together. She's now moved town which under the terms of a shared care order she couldn't do without my permission but after seeking legal advice I had no real rights to stop her as they'd just change the terms of the court order and that would cost me. my kids are 11 and 10. The ex has a long term partner but is prone to violence and has a history of drug taking.
my question is, what rights do I have to know if there is violence in the house resulting in police attending and if social services are liaising with them do I have a right to know as I think I do. I'm a non resident father but I do have as much access to the kids as I can. before they moved I had them every week for three nights but now they've moved I only see them every weekend.
Thanks all
si1234 Avatar
6m, 1w agoPosted 6 months, 1 week ago
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Responses/page:
#1
Do you have pr?
#2
There is loads of information online. http://childlawadvice.org.uk/information-pages/residence/
I would contact social services in her local area, explain your concerns and ask to be informed of any dealing's she's had with them.
#3
I feel your pain

Wish I could offer help/advice

A cruel world we live in and again this crappy thing called "Equality" rears it's ugly head - when will men have equality when it comes to their child(s) life

A big man hug to you OP
#4
If there is social services/police involved with your children you have every right to know. Call the relevant social services department at the relevant council and explain your concerns. Also speak to the children's school.
#5
As a woman, I find it abhorrent that women still get most of the say. There are many fathers that are great parents who would love to contribute more if they could. I hope that your children get to see more of you without jumping through hoops.
#6
Are you listed as the father on the birth cert?
cc313
There is loads of information online. http://childlawadvice.org.uk/information-pages/residence/
I would contact social services in her local area, explain your concerns and ask to be informed of any dealing's she's had with them.

+1

Are you listed as the father in the birth cert?

If social services are involved and you have parental responsibility then you should be part of the planning process.
#7
If there is concerns about the mothers lifestyle re drugs and violence then its essential social services are involved. If you had them part time before then you still have the right now, she may have moved to make it more difficult for you to travel. The issue becomes on what is fair for the children - is the distance short enough for them to travel to school every day - if yes social may assist. If no then they wont unless you get a court order as the kids cant go to school in 2 places. Do you still have somewhere for them to sleep when they stay with you? There are now loads of websites that give help to dads to take their cases to court every day. Some family cases still qualify for legal aid especially where violence or danger is involved but you would ring a solicitor to find out the details specific to your case.

On a down note I know a story of a 15 year old boy in Birmingham who was beaten up by the mothers boyfriend (not for the first time) and police we called he went to stay with a friend. He has sofa surfed for the last 6 months while social service did ABSOLUTELY NOTHING, not for the lack of the father trying. They didnt even register him as under their care as that meant they would have to pay for his "temporary fostering". He was basically abandoned by them to sort himself out. Luckily this story had a happy ending and his father now got a house and he went to live with him and never wishes to see the mother again. His older sister has also been thrown out by the mother but so long as she still claims benefits for kids that dont live with her the world is okay. Sometimes Social Services actions stink and Birmingham is perhaps one of the worse in the country. Glad to say I had no personal dealing with them but just hear constant horror stories of their actions or refusal to take action. They happily leave children in danger as his brother was left in the house and hes 13.
#8
I think that you have the right to know who is living with your children so as previously stated, phone the police for info and inform the social services in that area of your concern. Good Luck.
#9
There is a new law called Sophie law I'm sure that's what it's called u contact police and they need to tell u of any convictions of the person ur ex is living with
#10
I think you mean Clare's law? The police aren't obligated to provide information but they will assess each case individually and decide whether to disclose any previous offences. http://content.met.police.uk/Article/Domestic-Violence-Disclosure-Scheme---Clares-Law/1400022792812/1400022792812
#11
Aaronsmummy
There is a new law called Sophie law I'm sure that's what it's called u contact police and they need to tell u of any convictions of the person ur ex is living with

No it's not. That's in relation to sentencing guidelines for offences against a subculture like goths and the like and the pressure that was raised to try to make those considered equivalent of hate crimes as defined in law..

What you are referring to is commonly referred to as "Clare's Law", it's actually correctly called DVDS (Domestic Violence Disclosure Scheme). Additionally it does none of the things you are suggesting it does.

https://www.gov.uk/government/uploads/system/uploads/attachment_data/file/505434/2016-03-08_DVDS_report__final_.pdf

This is the home office reporting around it all

https://www.police.uk/news/domestic-violence-disclosure-scheme/

More at the police website.

The key points of this legislation is that it will allow police to do checks and if they "show that the individual has a record of abusive offences, or there is other information to indicate the person you know is at risk, the police will consider sharing this information with the person(s) best placed to protect the potential victim."

That person is not the OP. The only person that would be is the ex-partner of OP. Additionally note that it means Police will consider sharing that information, if the history is only low level stuff then it's pretty much going to stay undisclosed.

Edited By: Astec123 on Dec 18, 2016 00:58
#12
Sarahs Law does exist but I think it only confirms if a partner is charge with sexual crimes to help protect from pedophiles.

https://www.nspcc.org.uk/services-and-resources/research-and-resources/factsheet-and-briefings/child-sex-offender-disclosure-scheme/

Edited By: googley2 on Dec 18, 2016 01:13
#13
Sophies Law seems to be about a fight to get the law changed in the way police record their crime figures, although seems active in parts of Manchester in 2013 I cant seem to find anything further about it, was after a poor girl got killed for being a goth and walking in the park!

Aaronsmummy
There is a new law called Sophie law I'm sure that's what it's called u contact police and they need to tell u of any convictions of the person ur ex is living with
#14
Honestly, if you have concerns over violence, you need to act on it. Speak to the police / social services. They are duty bound to act.
Why have you not sought this before if your ex has been with this person for a long time? If you're not careful, it might be considered that your making allegations now that they have moved away.
My advice, as good as it is asking here, get yourself down to the police station as a starting point and ask to speak to a child protection officer. This should be your first point of call.
#15
Thanks everyone. I'll try and answer all comments in one go rather than individually.
yes I have pr. After late 90's every father gained this automatically as far as I know.
yes I'm named on birth cert.
The violence always came from her and I'm not concerned re that with her current partner.
I've gone down solicitors route and been told there's nothing I can do their end as it will cost me a lot of money to go before a judge and unless the children have already been harmed they will not grant me care.
I have zero faith in social services as when I was going to court last time they came round and assessed me and told me I was doing everything right and had a three bed home for them and she was ignoring their calls and letters and was under investigation but then went before the judge and absolutely slated me and gave her a glowing reference. when I've asked for their help I've been bounced from pillar to post over this already.
#16
Iam a foster carer i woud not be a social worker if you payed me 10k a week, they are so overworked . Report any concerns you have about the children to the police and social services ..good luck
#17
If you report it to the Police then unless there is an immediate risk to the children then they will only record and share the info with S/S - S/S will then decide whether they need to go out as a single agency to look into the situation. Not the answer you hoped for I imagine. Unfortunately S/S country wide are at breaking point, this has the sorry effect of 'raising the bar' as to what they deem worthy of investigating. At least if you report it, it's recorded should it be needed for future Court proceedings. Really sorry to hear of your situation.
#18
si1234
Thanks everyone. I'll try and answer all comments in one go rather than individually.
yes I have pr. After late 90's every father gained this automatically as far as I know.
yes I'm named on birth cert.
The violence always came from her and I'm not concerned re that with her current partner.
I've gone down solicitors route and been told there's nothing I can do their end as it will cost me a lot of money to go before a judge and unless the children have already been harmed they will not grant me care.
I have zero faith in social services as when I was going to court last time they came round and assessed me and told me I was doing everything right and had a three bed home for them and she was ignoring their calls and letters and was under investigation but then went before the judge and absolutely slated me and gave her a glowing reference. when I've asked for their help I've been bounced from pillar to post over this already.

You have PR because you are on the birth cert. If married to the mother all fathers have PR, if unmarried, fathers have to be on the birth cert to have PR.

If the children are witnessing domestic violence then social services need to be involved - if you have proof and want full custody it will likely be an expensive court case I'm afraid.

If the children are becoming affected by the DV then social services should be looking at family liason and support for your ex...


Edited By: Mermoo on Dec 23, 2016 22:44

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