Stuck in a situation! - HotUKDeals
We use cookie files to improve site functionality and personalisation. By continuing to use HotUKDeals, you accept our cookie and privacy policy.
Get the HotUKDeals app free at Google Play

Search Error

An error occurred when searching, please try again!

Login / Sign UpSubmit

Stuck in a situation!

£0.00 @
Um I don't know if this is the right place or where to start. My Partner works 7 days a week and I am just a self employed dog walker/cleaner. How ever I feel exhausted I have no help or rest and stru… Read More
louisebarker Avatar
8m, 2w agoPosted 8 months, 2 weeks ago
Um I don't know if this is the right place or where to start. My Partner works 7 days a week and I am just a self employed dog walker/cleaner. How ever I feel exhausted I have no help or rest and struggle with anxiety and depression. I am selfishly thinking about giving up one day a week, how ever it hasn't gone down well with my Family and I am so loyal that I don't know how I would bring myself to tell two People I am stopping work for them. The bottom line is I care too much about the house, other People etc just not myself. Just wondering what any of you would do in this situation? x
louisebarker Avatar
8m, 2w agoPosted 8 months, 2 weeks ago
Options

All Responses

(28) Jump to unreadPost an answer
Responses/page:
#1
Without knowing all the facts i shall just say this. Surely it is better to give up one day a week and let a couple of people down (I'm sure they will understand) rather than work yourself into the ground so you can't work at all and then let everyone down (although again people will understand) at which point you will have less self confidence and less self worth. Giving up the one day a week might mean that in six months you will be ready and sorted out to start working that day again. It only takes a small change to make a big impact. Sod everyone else if your health is at risk, they wont suffer when you do.
#2
ThePasty
Without knowing all the facts i shall just say this. Surely it is better to give up one day a week and let a couple of people down (I'm sure they will understand) rather than work yourself into the ground so you can't work at all and then let everyone down (although again people will understand) at which point you will have less self confidence and less self worth. Giving up the one day a week might mean that in six months you will be ready and sorted out to start working that day again. It only takes a small change to make a big impact. Sod everyone else if your health is at risk, they wont suffer when you do.
Thank you so much x I already have zero confidence and self worth. x
#3
I totally agree with ThePasty. Think about your health at the moment. It will take longer to recover the longer you keep trying to do it all. X
#4
louisebarker
ThePasty
Without knowing all the facts i shall just say this. Surely it is better to give up one day a week and let a couple of people down (I'm sure they will understand) rather than work yourself into the ground so you can't work at all and then let everyone down (although again people will understand) at which point you will have less self confidence and less self worth. Giving up the one day a week might mean that in six months you will be ready and sorted out to start working that day again. It only takes a small change to make a big impact. Sod everyone else if your health is at risk, they wont suffer when you do.
Thank you so much x I already have zero confidence and self worth. x

You might think that - but dog owners don't entrust their family members with just anyone and I certainly wouldn't let just anyone clean my house/office - so these people see something in you - even if you don't. Its time to stop measuring your self-worth on what you think other people measure it by and make up your own scale, set yourself manageable targets (i have no idea who you are so can't give examples but it could be doing things you've always wanted to do but are scared to do like going swimming or something like that) and once you've done it and realised no one in the world actually cares about what you are up to as they all have their own problems to worry about, life will get very much easier and in turn - more opportunities will come your way.
#5
you only live once this aint a trial run.do what's right for you
#6
You've brought me to tears, I'm glad I asked for opinions. Thank you xx
#7
well for me dog walking is a pleasure and cleaning anything but.

it's also hard work to clean and difficult if you find it hard to motivate yourself. also if you soldier on it may well get worse making you unable to work at all.

so my thought is that one day a week off isn't too much to ask for. personally I would cut down on the cleaning :) good luck.
#8
Have you considered the reason you feel so exhausted has little to do with the amount you work ? Sounds to me it has more to do with your mental state than your physical one . I think you need to see your GP and sort that out first . If you give up a day of work and find you still feel as washed out you are just going to feel more guilty and worthless . There's no shame in admitting to feeling depressed . It isn't a weakness , it's an illness . Your GP can give you much better advice and help than anyone here because they know your circumstances and background better . It may even be something as simple and daft as being anaemic . I'm speaking as someone with a history of depression and someone who worked themselves to a standstill a couple of years ago due to reasons too complicated to go in to . I reduced my working hours and just ended up filling these with more cleaning washing and ironing around my own home . Feeling tired may be a symptom of something deeper than overwork
#9
agree with all the above.
never heard anyone's on their deathbed say
"I wish I'd done more hours at work and kept house a bit cleaner"
banned#10
louisebarker
You've brought me to tears, I'm glad I asked for opinions. Thank you xx


you seem depressed. visit your GP for advice, he may give you some tablets. maybe a blood test will also show you have less iron etc etc.
then think about cutting half a day of work or so, then see how you feel.
also ask your friends for a night out dinner, plenty of restaurants do buffet for set price so it's not taking over your budget.
but if you talk to your customers, I'm sure they will help you decide and give you help.
#11
sofiasar
louisebarker
You've brought me to tears, I'm glad I asked for opinions. Thank you xx
you seem depressed. visit your GP for advice, he may give you some tablets. maybe a blood test will also show you have less iron etc etc.
then think about cutting half a day of work or so, then see how you feel.
also ask your friends for a night out dinner, plenty of restaurants do buffet for set price so it's not taking over your budget.
but if you talk to your customers, I'm sure they will help you decide and give you help.

I agree with this, my wife had a similar problem with low esteem, tired and weepy all the time. If you're depressed and stressed about things then you will be tired all the time and dropping days is not going to help unfortunately. Go and see your doctor, it might take a month to get better but it will make a massive difference.
#12
GP.
GP.
GP.
Running away from mental health problems won't help.
The days worked aren't the problem.

It's been two years since I beat depression after a nine year fight.

I will never, ever go back to that place.

Best wishes.
#13
willhay555
GP.
GP.
GP.
Running away from mental health problems won't help.
The days worked aren't the problem.
It's been two years since I beat depression after a nine year fight.
I will never, ever go back to that place.
Best wishes.
Well done to you . It isn't easy to beat depression but it's worth the effort to get your life back
#14
willhay555
GP.
GP.
GP.
Running away from mental health problems won't help.
The days worked aren't the problem.
It's been two years since I beat depression after a nine year fight.
I will never, ever go back to that place.
Best wishes.
Well done, Can I ask how you managed that?
#15
I'm a +1 for if you haven't already done so, speak to your GP.

I also agree that mental stress /depression can make a person exhausted.

If you have already spoken to the GP, don't even hesitate; give up a day and get some time for yourself to catch up with things and relax a little.

Your health is number one.
#16
Louise, take it from someone who worked to a point he was a pile of stress, anxiety and worry. I stepped back, worked less, and exercised and lived more. I'm much happier and healthier now. It's weird giving up some work to have more time for you. But it'll be worth it in the end. I'd recommend watching some self help stuff o line too. Gary vaynerchuk is a good one to watch.
#17
You sound like a hero to me.
Consider Counselling as an alternative to the GP (although counselling is sometimes available through a GP).
'Talk Therapy' can help you sort out your problems and priorities.
Google Person Centered Counselling
#18
I know how you feel about letting other people down. I spend my whole life looking after other people, often without even a thank you. But you must learn to look after yourself first and foremost before you can think of others. It is not at all selfish to think of yourself first. It should be natural to do this, as without you being well and happy, you are no use to anyone else as well as yourself. Do what is best for you, then do what is best for others, strictly in that order.
#19
snoopy18
willhay555
GP.
GP.
GP.
Running away from mental health problems won't help.
The days worked aren't the problem.
It's been two years since I beat depression after a nine year fight.
I will never, ever go back to that place.
Best wishes.
Well done, Can I ask how you managed that?



Three lots of CBT, the first two at a very low level that wasn't sufficient for my illness and, having naively fought against it for too long; medication.
#20
psychobitchfromhell
Have you considered the reason you feel so exhausted has little to do with the amount you work ? Sounds to me it has more to do with your mental state than your physical one . I think you need to see your GP and sort that out first . If you give up a day of work and find you still feel as washed out you are just going to feel more guilty and worthless . There's no shame in admitting to feeling depressed . It isn't a weakness , it's an illness . Your GP can give you much better advice and help than anyone here because they know your circumstances and background better . It may even be something as simple and daft as being anaemic . I'm speaking as someone with a history of depression and someone who worked themselves to a standstill a couple of years ago due to reasons too complicated to go in to . I reduced my working hours and just ended up filling these with more cleaning washing and ironing around my own home . Feeling tired may be a symptom of something deeper than overwork
I agree it is a lot deeper x My Family are no support as they are very strong and they see don't see mental illnesses as 'real' illnesses!!! I caved in last month and went to the Doctors I am on medication but already regretting that as I feel worse, I understand it may take time x
#21
psychobitchfromhell
Have you considered the reason you feel so exhausted has little to do with the amount you work ? Sounds to me it has more to do with your mental state than your physical one . I think you need to see your GP and sort that out first . If you give up a day of work and find you still feel as washed out you are just going to feel more guilty and worthless . There's no shame in admitting to feeling depressed . It isn't a weakness , it's an illness . Your GP can give you much better advice and help than anyone here because they know your circumstances and background better . It may even be something as simple and daft as being anaemic . I'm speaking as someone with a history of depression and someone who worked themselves to a standstill a couple of years ago due to reasons too complicated to go in to . I reduced my working hours and just ended up filling these with more cleaning washing and ironing around my own home . Feeling tired may be a symptom of something deeper than overwork
I agree it is a lot deeper x My Family are no support as they are very strong and they see don't see mental illnesses as 'real' illnesses!!! I caved in last month and went to the Doctors I am on medication but already regretting that as I feel worse, I understand it may take time x
#22
psychobitchfromhell
Have you considered the reason you feel so exhausted has little to do with the amount you work ? Sounds to me it has more to do with your mental state than your physical one . I think you need to see your GP and sort that out first . If you give up a day of work and find you still feel as washed out you are just going to feel more guilty and worthless . There's no shame in admitting to feeling depressed . It isn't a weakness , it's an illness . Your GP can give you much better advice and help than anyone here because they know your circumstances and background better . It may even be something as simple and daft as being anaemic . I'm speaking as someone with a history of depression and someone who worked themselves to a standstill a couple of years ago due to reasons too complicated to go in to . I reduced my working hours and just ended up filling these with more cleaning washing and ironing around my own home . Feeling tired may be a symptom of something deeper than overwork
I agree it is a lot deeper x My Family are no support as they are very strong and they see don't see mental illnesses as 'real' illnesses!!! I caved in last month and went to the Doctors I am on medication but already regretting that as I feel worse, I understand it may take time x
airbus330
You sound like a hero to me.
Consider Counselling as an alternative to the GP (although counselling is sometimes available through a GP).
'Talk Therapy' can help you sort out your problems and priorities.
Google Person Centered Counselling
Aw thank you. x
#23
louisebarker
psychobitchfromhell
Have you considered the reason you feel so exhausted has little to do with the amount you work ? Sounds to me it has more to do with your mental state than your physical one . I think you need to see your GP and sort that out first . If you give up a day of work and find you still feel as washed out you are just going to feel more guilty and worthless . There's no shame in admitting to feeling depressed . It isn't a weakness , it's an illness . Your GP can give you much better advice and help than anyone here because they know your circumstances and background better . It may even be something as simple and daft as being anaemic . I'm speaking as someone with a history of depression and someone who worked themselves to a standstill a couple of years ago due to reasons too complicated to go in to . I reduced my working hours and just ended up filling these with more cleaning washing and ironing around my own home . Feeling tired may be a symptom of something deeper than overwork
I agree it is a lot deeper x My Family are no support as they are very strong and they see don't see mental illnesses as 'real' illnesses!!! I caved in last month and went to the Doctors I am on medication but already regretting that as I feel worse, I understand it may take time x

Bear in mind that there are a lot of different meds available and there might need to be a bit of experimentation before you find one that works for you.
They also need to be taken for a while before you get the benefits which is a pain because you can get instant bad side effects but no benefit for a couple of weeks.

I'd try going back to the GP and discuss what alternatives are available.
#24
sofiasar
louisebarker
You've brought me to tears, I'm glad I asked for opinions. Thank you xx
you seem depressed. visit your GP for advice, he may give you some tablets. maybe a blood test will also show you have less iron etc etc.
then think about cutting half a day of work or so, then see how you feel.
also ask your friends for a night out dinner, plenty of restaurants do buffet for set price so it's not taking over your budget.
but if you talk to your customers, I'm sure they will help you decide and give you help.
I have been very very anemic, in fact it got so low I had to go to the hospital recently to see if there was an underlying problem. I have stopped the Iron now as they said my levels are good again, but I am still exhausted so it may just be other areas of my life! x
#25
Sorry if I haven't thanked you all. You have all improved my weekend and I will be taking all of your advice on board. I just have to get through tomorrow, been invited to a Family meal and it's making me worse as I'm so stressed about how tired and ugly I look. Have a good week end x
#26
louisebarker
psychobitchfromhell
Have you considered the reason you feel so exhausted has little to do with the amount you work ? Sounds to me it has more to do with your mental state than your physical one . I think you need to see your GP and sort that out first . If you give up a day of work and find you still feel as washed out you are just going to feel more guilty and worthless . There's no shame in admitting to feeling depressed . It isn't a weakness , it's an illness . Your GP can give you much better advice and help than anyone here because they know your circumstances and background better . It may even be something as simple and daft as being anaemic . I'm speaking as someone with a history of depression and someone who worked themselves to a standstill a couple of years ago due to reasons too complicated to go in to . I reduced my working hours and just ended up filling these with more cleaning washing and ironing around my own home . Feeling tired may be a symptom of something deeper than overwork
I agree it is a lot deeper x My Family are no support as they are very strong and they see don't see mental illnesses as 'real' illnesses!!! I caved in last month and went to the Doctors I am on medication but already regretting that as I feel worse, I understand it may take time x


the medication takes at least 6 weeks to start to kick in. it works by increasing the seratonin level in the brain which affects mood. do not stop taking it as that can make you feel worse quite quickly.

I understand what you are saying about your family's view. I was told to take long brisk walks and I would be fine ! mine was situational depression and improved once my situation improved. if you have clinical depression then there may seem to be no cause that's obvious to anyone on the outside.

sadly there is no magic wand but it does get better over time :) good luck.
#27
if your not right with yourself your going to be no good to anybody else really .the better you are in yourself the better you are for others
#28
louisebarker
psychobitchfromhell
Have you considered the reason you feel so exhausted has little to do with the amount you work ? Sounds to me it has more to do with your mental state than your physical one . I think you need to see your GP and sort that out first . If you give up a day of work and find you still feel as washed out you are just going to feel more guilty and worthless . There's no shame in admitting to feeling depressed . It isn't a weakness , it's an illness . Your GP can give you much better advice and help than anyone here because they know your circumstances and background better . It may even be something as simple and daft as being anaemic . I'm speaking as someone with a history of depression and someone who worked themselves to a standstill a couple of years ago due to reasons too complicated to go in to . I reduced my working hours and just ended up filling these with more cleaning washing and ironing around my own home . Feeling tired may be a symptom of something deeper than overwork
I agree it is a lot deeper x My Family are no support as they are very strong and they see don't see mental illnesses as 'real' illnesses!!! I caved in last month and went to the Doctors I am on medication but already regretting that as I feel worse, I understand it may take time x
It isn't caving in , its dealing with the problem . Medication does take time and you don't just wake up one morning feeling better . It is a gradual process and it is also something you have to work at . Exercise is great for increasing serotonin so your dog walking might be the best thing you can do .

Post an Answer

You don't need an account to leave a response. Just enter your email address. We'll keep it private.

...OR log in with your social account

...OR comment using your social account

Thanks for your comment! Keep it up!
We just need to have a quick look and it will be live soon.
The community is happy to hear your opinion! Keep contributing!