The Pearl Necklace ('A heaving chest splattered with the rib-tickling cream of issues 142-151') is the latest edition of the ever popular Viz annual.
Containing such greats as Fat Slags, Biffa Bacon and Roger Mellie, it is full of the best profanities and adult humour that Britain can offer.
And it can be yours to give or receive free of charge when you take out a subscription to Viz magazine.
Your subscription starts with a 3 issue trial period and includes a free copy of 'The Pearl Necklace'. If you're not 100% satisfied, cancel within your 3 issue trial and receive a full refund.
If you do decide to continue, you'll get Viz delivered to your door with a massive 28% off the shop price. Perfect for those short arms and long pockets.