Haynes Sex Manual: Hardback (of course) only £1 instore @ Poundland - HotUKDeals
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Saw this in my local Poundland; there was lots on the top shelf, just above the Hugh Grant autobiography, which I thought was quite funny, considering his, ahem, past. (Pic in post 1) There is also a light-hearted look at what sexual positions are achievable in particular models of car, called Carma Sutra; wonder if Hugh already owns a copy. By the look on his face he just might have.

'Tis a bargain too; this is £12.99 + delivery at Amazon

The full book title is....

Sex: 16 Years Onwards, All Models, Shapes, Sizes and Colours- The Practical Guide to Sexual Health and Enjoyment (Haynes Owners Workshop Manual)

Sex and cars have been inextricably linked for years - it must be something to do with pistons - so what more logical than a sex manual from Haynes? Along the same lines as the successful Man and Baby Manuals, the Haynes Sex Manual offers down-to-earth advice (but no step-by-step photos this time) on all possible health and recreational aspects of the popular pastime. Dr Ian Banks style is as robust and realistic as usual, with his experience as medical adviser to The Good Sex Guide Late on television turned to good account. Following the tried and tested Haynes formula, there are detailed explanation of how the relevant parts of the male and female bodies work and fit together, what happens if they don't and what can be done to put things right. Technical illustrations in the familiar Haynes style are complemented by cartoons from Jim Campbell.
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Top Comments

(5)
60 Likes
foxh0und
no one here is funny. stop trying. Maybe if you're 40+ you find each other funny, but grow up.

I am 40+ and I find you obnoxious.
49 Likes
foxh0und
no one here is funny. stop trying. Maybe if you're 40+ you find each other funny, but grow up.

1. Your hair is worse than Frankie Coccozas. That is some feat.
2. I'm still not sure whether you're a boy or a girl.
3. You look like youre crying
4. Let yourself go, crack a smile? Even dare to have a laugh! (I did)
5. If you are going to keep your hair like that (let's say you don't see sense) and if you are a boy (i'm 65% sure you are) and when you can grow a beard (which I reckon is a good 7/8 years time) you should grow a full on beard, because that would be funny, but then again you don't do humour or laughing so that doesn't matter really.
6. You have really, really, really nice hair
37 Likes
This would be the most embarrassing purchase ever
1)You're buying a book on how to have sex
2)You're in poundland.
34 Likes
smallkiwi
how much
It's poundland, it's obviously £50.
24 Likes
foxh0und
no one here is funny. stop trying. Maybe if you're 40+ you find each other funny, but grow up.

The only thing funny about you is your haircut!

All Comments

(113) Jump to unreadPost a comment
Comments/page:
Page:
[mod] 6 Likes #1
http://i1017.photobucket.com/albums/af295/HUKDphotobucket/sex.jpg
11 Likes #2
I heard these are hard to cum by.
3 Likes #3
Weirdly Hugh Grant's face looks different in both of those pictures haha
#4
Is she putting it into reverse gear...???!! :3
#5
Actionnotwords69
Is she putting it into reverse gear...???!! :3
She might be gearing up to put it somewhere else more private........ oO
1 Like #6
Bet the parts section and what spanners to use and torque settings would make a
interesting read!
1 Like #7
Hugh Grant being beside it is quite a coincidence there is a section on picking up prostitutes.

Divine "inspiration" brown.
[mod]#8
JoeBoy88
Hugh Grant being beside it is quite a coincidence there is a section on picking up prostitutes.

Divine "inspiration" brown.

The cover of the Haynes book is a nice shade of cherry red too. The coincidences just keep on coming.
#9
lol look contraception just below the book
#10
how much
34 Likes #11
smallkiwi
how much
It's poundland, it's obviously £50.
banned#12
Just reserved one for boothy. He must be getting sick of stuffed animals
#13
How much to get it laminated?
#14
phoooooootttttoooooshooopppppppp but still funny
#15
I would suggest there is more puns with the book on the left!
#16
Bottom shelf well photoshopped, why ???
[mod] 1 Like #17
thatscheap
phoooooootttttoooooshooopppppppp but still funny

Nope; 100% genuine
#18
gonna get one today!
#19
this book any good might get it
11 Likes #20
Anything with the words sex or condom in it, or anything about lingerie gets hot here. And cue the funny, funny comments making crass jokes about whatever it is. This is like being back in 8th grade.
#21
;) loving the banter guys, keep it UP !
8 Likes #22
no one here is funny. stop trying. Maybe if you're 40+ you find each other funny, but grow up.
banned 15 Likes #23
foxh0und
no one here is funny. stop trying. Maybe if you're 40+ you find each other funny, but grow up.


Was you in 'The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo' ?

Edited By: copthis1 on Jul 23, 2012 06:09
60 Likes #24
foxh0und
no one here is funny. stop trying. Maybe if you're 40+ you find each other funny, but grow up.

I am 40+ and I find you obnoxious.
#25
Would anyone actually be seen buying this at the till in Poundland..I think I wouldn't be able to contain myself if I saw this on the conveyer..lol
37 Likes #26
This would be the most embarrassing purchase ever
1)You're buying a book on how to have sex
2)You're in poundland.
24 Likes #27
foxh0und
no one here is funny. stop trying. Maybe if you're 40+ you find each other funny, but grow up.

The only thing funny about you is your haircut!
2 Likes #28
Some heat for this post, thought it wouldn't make it pass 69 ;)
49 Likes #29
foxh0und
no one here is funny. stop trying. Maybe if you're 40+ you find each other funny, but grow up.

1. Your hair is worse than Frankie Coccozas. That is some feat.
2. I'm still not sure whether you're a boy or a girl.
3. You look like youre crying
4. Let yourself go, crack a smile? Even dare to have a laugh! (I did)
5. If you are going to keep your hair like that (let's say you don't see sense) and if you are a boy (i'm 65% sure you are) and when you can grow a beard (which I reckon is a good 7/8 years time) you should grow a full on beard, because that would be funny, but then again you don't do humour or laughing so that doesn't matter really.
6. You have really, really, really nice hair
3 Likes #30
God,I hope it's not like the Haynes Ford Escort mkII manual I had. You'd be following the step by step instructions and at the vital stage there would be a picture missing and you'd be banging your head against the wall with frustration trying to work out what to do next...Not a good thing if you're mid way through some rumpy pumpy with your partner and shouting 'hang on a minute! I can't work out what to do next'
8 Likes #31
foxh0und
no one here is funny. stop trying. Maybe if you're 40+ you find each other funny, but grow up.

Ummm. Bit of contradiction me thinks. If we're 40+ then we're already grown up.

I'm 40+ and life can be too serious and just plain hard work. That is why you seek laughter whenever and wherever you can. Sod being grown up it's overrated.
#32
no point mentioning daddy checking mammy`s oil with his dipstick then
#33
I have the 'baby' version of this. They actually have serious factual information... a lot of the humour comes from the way the book is written like an instruction manual. I had to call nhs24 for my little one and the yes/no questions they took me through were pretty much identical to the decision flowchart in the Haynes book.

Think about it ladies ... men's brains work this way...
4 Likes #34
Just the thing, to keep an old banger going
1 Like #35
foxh0und
no one here is funny. stop trying. Maybe if you're 40+ you find each other funny, but grow up.

looks like ur in the pit...
tehe
#36
pwuk
Just the thing, to keep an old banger going

"old banger"
hahaa+lol
1 Like #37
jamgin
God,I hope it's not like the Haynes Ford Escort mkII manual I had. You'd be following the step by step instructions and at the vital stage there would be a picture missing and you'd be banging your head against the wall with frustration trying to work out what to do next...Not a good thing if you're mid way through some rumpy pumpy with your partner and shouting 'hang on a minute! I can't work out what to do next'


Im my experience, there's usually a nut missing.
1 Like #38
morrig
Bet the parts section and what spanners to use and torque settings would make a
interesting read!

I wonder if this manual also contains the default "spray job" section, that all other Haynes manuals used to have ;)
#39
The section for replacing failing, worn out parts might come in handy, but i'm not so sure about using the spare in the boot!
3 Likes #40
foxh0und
no one here is funny. stop trying. Maybe if you're 40+ you find each other funny, but grow up.


I'm 40+ by 15 years, and I haven't grown up yet, go on have a laugh, you will have the best and most intimate sexual connections, when you are able to have fun during sex, have you ever got tangled in bedclothes, fallen out of the bed, got stuck taking off clothes, socks etc.. ......... or even f**ted................. LOL probably not.......... !!!!!!

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