lock, stock ...& four stolen hooves (pilot movie): Four mates, Bacon, Jamie, Lee and Moon, get on the wrong side of neighbourhood porn king 'Miami Vice' by getting their hands on his shipment of porn and a rare 'erotic timepiece' and then by accidentally stealing his prize racehorse 'Sherbet'.
lock, stock ...& 200 smoking kalashnikovs: The lads get stung by a scam known as the 'Limehouse Lag'. Meanwhile, Miami is doning some problem solving of his own, with the aid of a consignment of Kalashnikov rifles.
lock, stock ...& a fistfull of jack & jills: The lads buy a batch of dodgy viagra pills from the Dutchies, unfortunately their punters include local hard man Larry Harmless and a gang known as the Gadiffi Brothers. The result? Carnage for all involved.
lock, stock ...& spaghetti sauce: Spaghetti Eddie, rival porn king to Miami Vice is on the scene, and he's nicking Miami's Lapland girls for his TV channel 'Sauce TV'! Meanwhile, the lads are in a spot of bother with local porn merchant 'Deep Throat'.
lock, stock ...& two sips: The lads are forced to put up bad boy 'Two Sips' at their pub 'The Lock'. Unfortunately he has started bumping off Miami's henchmen. Can the lads put a stop to this crazed hit-man before Miami Vice finds out?
lock, stock ...& one big bullock: The lads get into the (not so) fresh meat business, but when supplied by Moon's crusty cousins, things are bound to go Pete Tong! Add drug crazed gangsters and the Russian Mafia and things get well interesting!
lock, stock ...& a good slopping out: Miami gets the lads banged up in HMP Nickham to get a key from the recently incarcerated 'Toothless'. The key belonged to Miami's arch rival Jimmy Silver and if the key isn't forthcoming the lads are looking at an unpleasant stretch.