Well hello there prospective purchaser of my new DVD, you've picked me up so that's the first bit done.
Now where do we go from here, well let's start with the till, then off home for a laugh. Hang on a minute, you may be buying this for a loved one or a relation, either way they're going to appreciate such a profound and loving gift. Who knows, next year they'll get YOU something equally as sought after to cherish.
It's easy for me to tell you how well this new tour went, about the ticket sale records I've broken along the way, about how this DVD is crimmy-crammy packed full of special features or about how my last DVD went straight to number one but hey, I'm above all that.
This time around it's all about YOU!