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Xbox live 48 hr free trial going spare -FREE!!!!!

dandoc2 Avatar
9y, 3w agoPosted 9 years, 3 weeks agoFeedback:34 Positive/0 Neutral/0 Negative
If anyone wants it you have to work for it

Tell me your best joke

2 x 48 hr trials left
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dandoc2 Avatar
9y, 3w agoPosted 9 years, 3 weeks agoFeedback:34 Positive/0 Neutral/0 Negative
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#1
[SIZE=2][COLOR=#006400]This message is being inserted in all For Sale or Trade forum threads.

[/COLOR][/SIZE][SIZE=2][COLOR=#0000ff][COLOR=#0000ff]Please be advised, all buyers and sellers should satisfy themselves that either party is genuine by providing the following via PM to each other and to Admin or a Moderator:[/COLOR][/COLOR][/SIZE][SIZE=2][COLOR=#0000ff][COLOR=#0000ff]

1] Landline[/COLOR][COLOR=#8b0000] telephone number Make a CALL to check out the area code and number are correct too!
[/COLOR][COLOR=blue]2][/COLOR][COLOR=blue] Name and address[/COLOR][COLOR=#8b0000] including postcode
[/COLOR][COLOR=blue]3][/COLOR][COLOR=blue] Valid e-mail[/COLOR][COLOR=#8b0000] address [no disposable addresses such as @gmail or @yahoo for example].
[/COLOR][COLOR=blue]4][/COLOR][COLOR=blue] Using PayPal[/COLOR][COLOR=#8b0000] then check out eBay feedback if there is any and make a small payment to and from each other to validate the PayPal e-mail address.
[/COLOR][COLOR=blue]5][/COLOR][COLOR=blue] If possible[/COLOR][COLOR=#8b0000], [/COLOR][COLOR=#8b0000]collect and pay for items in person
[/COLOR][COLOR=blue]6][/COLOR][COLOR=blue] Only buy [/COLOR][COLOR=#8b0000]from Verified PayPal Members if possible[/COLOR][COLOR=#8b0000].

[COLOR=blue]Do NOT[/COLOR] proceed with a deal until you are completely satisfied with all details being correct. It's in your best interest to [COLOR=blue]check out these details yourself.[/COLOR][/COLOR][/COLOR][/SIZE][SIZE=2]
[/SIZE][SIZE=2][COLOR=#0000ff][COLOR=#8b0000]
[COLOR=blue]Offer and acceptance of trade or sale[/COLOR] must be posted in relevant thread. [COLOR=blue]You must NOT[/COLOR] deal by PM only.[COLOR=blue]

You must NOT[/COLOR]
[/COLOR][/COLOR][/SIZE][SIZE=2][COLOR=#0000ff][COLOR=#8b0000]have items for sale or trade elsewhere online if listed here and[/COLOR][/COLOR][/SIZE][SIZE=2][COLOR=#0000ff][COLOR=#8b0000] [COLOR=blue]NOT[/COLOR] [/COLOR][/COLOR][/SIZE][SIZE=2][COLOR=#0000ff][COLOR=#8b0000]'bump' your thread more than a [COLOR=blue]total of 2 times.[/COLOR]

[/COLOR][COLOR=seagreen]NOTE[/COLOR][COLOR=#8b0000]: [/COLOR][COLOR=blue]Please post images [COLOR=darkred]of the actual items for sale[/COLOR] [/COLOR][/COLOR][/SIZE][SIZE=2][SIZE=1][COLOR=#0000ff][COLOR=green][B]>> See Here <<[/COLOR][/COLOR][/B][/SIZE] [/SIZE][SIZE=2][COLOR=#0000ff][COLOR=darkred]To show[/COLOR][COLOR=blue][COLOR=darkred] the condition and that you have the items in your possession. [COLOR=blue]Thanks![/COLOR][/COLOR]
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[/COLOR][/SIZE][SIZE=2][COLOR=purple]>> Forum Rules/Guidelines Here <<[/COLOR][/SIZE] [SIZE=2][COLOR=darkorange]>> Code of Conduct Here <<[/COLOR][/SIZE] [SIZE=2][COLOR=green]>> Leave Feedback Here <<[/COLOR][/SIZE]
#2
Did you hear about Pavarotti's funeral car?

It was a Nissan Dorma!
#3
3 Mice in a bar, arguing who's the hardest.

The first mouse says "I get the mouse trap and throw it accross the room and steal the cheese"

The second mouse says "that's nothing, I snort rat poisen"

The Third mouse walks out of the bar.

"Where are you going?" they shout

"Home! To Sh*g The Cat!!"

:w00t::giggle:
#4
What happened to the man who fell asleep in a puddle of vineger?

He woke up in bit of a pickle!

lol best joke ever i win pm me the codes plz
#5
Why do gypsies walk funny?

Because they have crystal balls.
#6
7up is great....... ask snow white
#7
Pavers
Why do gypsies walk funny?

Because they have crystal balls.

Pavers wins for the first code

CODE SENT TO PAVERS

1x 48 hr remaining
#8
Did you hear mabout the blonde who took an hour to cook a packet of minute rice ;-)
1 Like #9
Two hunters went moose hunting every winter without success. Finally, they came up with a foolproof plan. They got a very authentic female moose costume and learned the mating call of a female moose. The plan was to hide in the costume, lure the bull, then come out of the costume and shoot it.

They set themselves up on the edge of a clearing, donned their costume, and began to give the moose love call. Before long, their call was answered as a bull came crashing out of the forest and into the clearing. When the bull was close enough, the guy in front said, “Okay, let’s get out and get him.”

After a moment that seemed like an eternity, the guy in the back shouted, “The zipper is stuck! What are we going to do?” The guy in the front said, “Well, I’m going to start nibbling grass, but you’d better brace yourself.”
#10
What's kate moss and jeremy clarkson got in common.....

A: both on top gear
#11
leemg3
Did you hear about Pavarotti's funeral car?

It was a Nissan Dorma!

Boo hisss


Noble2oo7UK
What's kate moss and jeremy clarkson got in common.....

A: both on top gear

BOOOOO

geoneo123
Two hunters went moose hunting every winter without success. Finally, they came up with a foolproof plan. They got a very authentic female moose costume and learned the mating call of a female moose. The plan was to hide in the costume, lure the bull, then come out of the costume and shoot it.

They set themselves up on the edge of a clearing, donned their costume, and began to give the moose love call. Before long, their call was answered as a bull came crashing out of the forest and into the clearing. When the bull was close enough, the guy in front said, “Okay, let’s get out and get him.”

After a moment that seemed like an eternity, the guy in the back shouted, “The zipper is stuck! What are we going to do?” The guy in the front said, “Well, I’m going to start nibbling grass, but you’d better brace yourself.”

So close yet so far
#12
2 goldfish in a tank, one turns to the other & says......

how the hell do you drive this thing!

hehehehe - my favourite joke :)

worto.
#13
Magic!
#14
Whats got 100 balls an fecks rabbits

a shotgun
#15
Blonde woman driving along country road erratically, cop see's this pull's her over, ask's what the hell she's upto...

blonde replies .. sorry officer , i go left a tree comes in front of me, i go right another tree comes in front of me....

Cop say's "miss, you do relise that's your car freshener...

dum de dum de dum lol
#16
worto03
2 goldfish in a tank, one turns to the other & says......

how the hell do you drive this thing!

hehehehe - my favourite joke :)

worto.


Magic! :thumbsup:
#17
did you hear about the constapated mathematician?

he worked it out with paper and a pencil
#18
No contenders for code 2..... come on people

No racist jokes or anything -- thats my area
#19
How do you get rid of blondes?


Form a circle, give each blonde a gun, and tell them they are a firing squad.
#20
what do you call someone elses cheese?

nacho cheese (not your cheese?) hahahahahahaha
#21
what do germans call bras?

dieselstoppemfloppen

---------------------------------

what do germans call toilet paper

Arsendichtenfartenwiper
#22
geoneo123
How do you get rid of blondes?


Form a circle, give each blonde a gun, and tell them they are a firing squad.

LOL you dont like blondes do ya :santa:
#23
what do germans call toilet paper

Arsendichtenfartenwiper

lol
#24
Noble2oo7UK
what do germans call toilet paper

Arsendichtenfartenwiper

lol



sounds good with a scottish accent too :)
#25
btw that was a reply to hect4r not a joke
#26
Q. What has 99 balls and makes old ladies sweat?
A. Bingo.

'Knock, Knock.'
'Who's There?'
'Big-ish'
'Big-ish who?'
'Not today thanks mate...'
#27
What do you call a women driver ?

Accident Prone

Lol im sorry :D
#28
btw all jokes are racist :)



i want to see more funnies too! (bored at work)


Whats an irishmans definition of sandpaper?

a map of the desert




bring on the scottish jokes :D
#29
One day Jane met Tarzan in the jungle. She was very attracted to him and during her questions about his life, she asked him how he managed for sex.
"What's that?" he asked.
She explained to him what sex was and he said,
"Oh, Tarzan use hole in trunk of tree."
Horrified, she said, "Tarzan you have it all wrong! I will show you how to do it properly."
She took off her clothes, laid down on the ground, and spread her legs.
"Here," she said, pointing, "You must put it in here."
Tarzan removed his loincloth, stepped closer and then gave her an almighty kick in the crotch. Jane rolled around in agony. Eventually she managed to gasp,
"What the hell did you do that for?"
"Tarzan check for squirrels."


LOL sorry couldn't resist i will delete later
#30
how many psychiatrist's does it take to change a lightbulb?


A. 1 but the lightbulb must want to change
#31
geoneo123
One day Jane met Tarzan in the jungle. She was very attracted to him and during her questions about his life, she asked him how he managed for sex.
"What's that?" he asked.
She explained to him what sex was and he said,
"Oh, Tarzan use hole in trunk of tree."
Horrified, she said, "Tarzan you have it all wrong! I will show you how to do it properly."
She took off her clothes, laid down on the ground, and spread her legs.
"Here," she said, pointing, "You must put it in here."
Tarzan removed his loincloth, stepped closer and then gave her an almighty kick in the crotch. Jane rolled around in agony. Eventually she managed to gasp,
"What the hell did you do that for?"
"Tarzan check for squirrels."

Ok you win lol thats classic
#32
How many women does it take to change a lightbulb?

A. Whats a lightbulb?
#33
Why can't women ski?

because there's no snow between the bedroom and kitchen
#34
what have amir khan & michael barrymore got in common....

Both feck people in the ring
#35
Why do women love to shop?

Because they cant spend all day moaning
#36
please i dont need the code but would like rep if you find my jokes funny :)
#37
Whats a fat bird and a moped got in common

They are a good ride but you wouldn't let your mates see you on 'em
#38
sparkygeezer
Whats a fat bird and a moped got in common

They are a good ride but you wouldn't let your mates see you on 'em


pmsl
#39
geoneo123
please i dont need the code but would like rep if you find my jokes funny :)

LOL ok but im not giving away rep that easily
#40
can i have the code then

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