my mother is a crazy drunk do i just stop going there?

spiderman1

no don,t you should both seek help you could call me if you wanted to talk i will watch for a reply

caz1cool

What a horrible situation to be in. I think you were probably better off when you didn't have contact. If your Mum is happy as she is then leave her to her own devices, people wont change unless they actually want to. I think you and your kids deserve more than that.
But saying that, I know that it's easier said than done.

edjaned

spiderman1:
no don,t you should both seek help you could call me if you wanted to talk i will watch for a reply

what would u advise to do?
thanks for reply

Sheriff Waffles

My mum's friend went through this, and my best friend mum was an alcoholic. Its a really tough situation to be in, but if your mum is happy the way she is then I guess she has made her choice and I guess you already know how stubborn and greatly in denial they can be.
If you find seeing her like this stressful, then it may be best just to keep some distance as it will wear you down again and end up making you ill.
I really feel for you, but your kids need you most. Alcoholics can be very unpredictable and Im guessing you wouldn't want your kids to be upset or confused by her erratic behaviour.
It's sad to say she has chosen alcohol above everything else, but until she gets clean of the drink completely there's nothing you can do.
Be there for your kids.
hopefully one day your mum will find the strength to leave the alcohol behind and then maybe have a relationship.
I know how this must get you down as I saw how much pain and embarrassment my friend went through everyday.

caz1cool

Sheriff Waffles:
My mum's friend went through this, and my best friend mum was an alcoholic. Its a really tough situation to be in, but if your mum is happy the way she is then I guess she has made her choice and I guess you already know how stubborn and greatly in denial they can be.
If you find seeing her like this stressful, then it may be best just to keep some distance as it will wear you down again and end up making you ill.
I really feel for you, but your kids need you most. Alcoholics can be very unpredictable and Im guessing you wouldn't want your kids to be upset or confused by her erratic behaviour.
It's sad to say she has chosen alcohol above everything else, but until she gets clean of the drink completely there's nothing you can do.
Be there for your kids.
hopefully one day your mum will find the strength to leave the alcohol behind and then maybe have a relationship.
I know how this must get you down as I saw how much pain and embarrassment my friend went through everyday.

That's what I was trying to say sherriffwaffles. You managed to put it much more eloquently than I did.

gekkoa

Check-out al-anon :-
http://www.al-anonuk.org.uk/

It is the premier body in the UK for helping family members effected by anothers drinking. It's a charity, it's free and it has a wealth of experience It should be your first port of call.

Usha Rocks

It is best to bring her into contact with the children only when she is sober, otherwise the children might think it is normal or acceptable to behave like that.
You need the dialogue.

gekkoa

Al-anon newcomer info:-
www.al-anonuk.org.uk/alanon/newcomerInfo.asp

edjaned

im so ashamed of her,as some of u know it was my mates little girls funeral on monday and my mum came to the wake.everyone was having a drink (apart from me i dont drink) and when she asked for a vodka i just thought here we go again!
so i phoned up my sis later who was still at the wake to find out my mother had been talking vulgar,falling about everywhere and my mates (who know she is a drunk) all had to help her onto the sofa
later on she had fallen downstairs smashing annmaries radiator of the wall and hitting her head my sis was so worried she had to call an ambulance then when they arrived she had just told them to f-off,annmarie was upset so my dad came to collect my mum

sure enough she is on a bender again now talking crazy as usual she even had the nerve to turn up at annmaries today in her pjs looking 4 drink,my sis asked her to appoligise but my mum didnt think she has done anything wrong and shrugged it off

the thing is she is s**t faced and is getting paid from work for being on call

edjaned

sorry i didnt add that she only sees my kids when she is sober,i refuse to speak to her when she is drunk and i woulcnot put my kids through what we saw when we were younger

sometimes she will go days,other times weeks without a drink so its quite easy to fit around her drinking schedule lol

edjaned

gekkoa:
Check-out al-anon :-
http://www.al-anonuk.org.uk/

It is the premier body in the UK for helping family members effected by anothers drinking. It's a charity, it's free and it has a wealth of experience It should be your first port of call.

she has phoned these and has even been into the hospital but when she speaks to the docs etc she seems to twist things to be everyone elses fault,she will never take the blame for anything and she never appoligises

years ago as a child i remember her waking me in the night crying and pacing worried sick about what she had done the night b4 but that was over 20 years ago now she couldnt give a toss who she offends anymore

gekkoa

http://www.al-anonuk.org.uk/ is not for alcoholics (dont confuse it with alcoholics anonymous), it's for friends and relatives of alcoholics. I don't think you checked-out the link.

ODB_69

edjaned:
she has phoned these and has even been into the hospital but when she speaks to the docs etc she seems to twist things to be everyone elses fault,she will never take the blame for anything and she never appoligises

years ago as a child i remember her waking me in the night crying and pacing worried sick about what she had done the night b4 but that was over 20 years ago now she couldnt give a toss who she offends anymore

How did funeral go? site's looking great seriously, donation is a doddle too!

guilbert53 · *Last edited by guilbert53 : 14-05-2008 at 23:41.*

This sounds just like my first wife.

I was married to her for 10 years (she was not like that at first of course) but eventually she became a terrible drunk, ringing me and others up at all times of the day or night for no reason. Like your mother, she could be sober for a couple of days, then drink a whole bottle of vodka in an hour or so and go on a real bender.

We had 2 sons (now both in their late 20s) but she would phone them and say she had burglers, but when they got round there she said they had gone away. She was always crying wolf.

I divorced her about 20 years ago. I remember one night in my new house being woken at 2am by knocking on the door. She was drunk, and had driven to my house (about 20 miles) with 2 young children in the back of the car. I refused to open the door.

Eventually she drove everyone away and had no friends or close relatives.

Sadly she had put too much strain on her body with the drink and she died in her sleep about 5 years ago. She was only 52.

I am afraid there is almost nothing you can do for people like this. They seem to have an inability to cope with the world and seem to want to drink themselves to death.

Dont let her drag you down the same way.

my mother is a crazy drunk do i just stop going there?

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