[deek72]

Biiiiigggg mistake. Hope you're prepared for the onslaught of new members!

[cannyscot]

A father bought a tortoise for his 5 year old son who loved it and took it out into the garden to play.

A couple of days later the father noticed some sores on the tortoise's feet.

He was annoyed and took it back to the pet shop and complained.

The pet shop owner couldn't explain it but gave him a replacement.

Same thing happened a few days later with the new tortoise - sores all over its feet.

Father was raging this time.

He took the tortoise back and read the riot act.

The shop keeper apologised profusely even though he couldn't understand it and gave the man a new tortoise.

Man returned home and gave the new tortoise to his son who thanked him.

Dad watched as boy went outside to the concrete path outside and held the tortoise like a wind up racing car and went Vrooom! Vrooom!


Sorry tortoise lovers everywhere.

[deek72]

An extremely upset tortoise crawls into a police station.

"I've been robbed by a marauding gang of snails," he cries to the officers.

"Calm down," says a cop. "Just tell us everything that happened, to the best of your memory."

"That's difficult," says the tortoise. "It all happened so fast!"


I'm sorry as well.

[graaaham]

Will be Soooooooo slloooowwwww to take off!!

[Floravada]

ha ha............those are cool jokes.........got any more ?

Dawn

[deek72]

Floravada:
ha ha............those are cool jokes.........got any more ?

Dawn

Ooh, go on then,,,,,


A lonely man goes to the pet shop to buy an animal for some company.

"I have the perfect pet for you," says the owner. "It's an amazing tortoise: it will do almost everything - and it even talks."

"I'll take it." says the man.

Later on that evening, the man decides to put his pet's skills to the test.

"Tortoise, go down to the shop and buy me a paper!" he cries, placing the tortoise on the floor outside the living room.

A year later, the man is still watching TV when he remembers his tortoise.

"Bloody hell! That tortoise is so slow, I better go and look for him."

He steps out of his front door and, to his surprise, nearly steps on his missing pet.
"You're so blinking slow, you've been gone nearly a year. Where's my bloody paper?"

To which the disgruntled tortoise replies, "Well if you're going to be like that, I won't go!"