5 minute management course - 6 Lessons - HotUKDeals
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5 minute management course - 6 Lessons

snowtiger Avatar
8y, 1m agoPosted 8 years, 1 month ago
.
5 minute management course

*Lesson 1:*

A man is getting into the shower just as his wife is finishing up her
shower, when the doorbell rings.
The wife quickly wraps herself in a towel and runs downstairs.
When she opens the door, there stands Bob, the next-door neighbour.
Before she says a word, Bob
says, Ill give you £800 to drop that towel.
After thinking for a moment, the woman drops her towel and stands naked in
front of Bob, after a few seconds, Bob hands her £800 and leaves.
The woman wraps back up in the towel and goes back upstairs.
When she gets to the bathroom, her husband asks, Who was that?
It was Bob the next door neighbour,*

* she replies.
Great, the husband says, did he say anything about the £800 he owes me?

Moral of the story:

If you share critical information
pertaining to credit and risk with your shareholders in time, you may be in
a position to prevent avoidable exposure.

Lesson 2: (in post 2)
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snowtiger Avatar
8y, 1m agoPosted 8 years, 1 month ago
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#1
[SIZE=4]Lesson 2:[/SIZE]
A priest offered a Nun a lift.
She got in and crossed her legs, forcing her gown to reveal a leg.
The priest nearly had an accident.
After controlling the car, he stealthily
slid his hand up her leg.
The nun said, ‘Father, remember Psalm 129?’
The priest removed his hand.
But, changing gears, he let his hand slide up her leg again.
The nun once again said, ‘Father, remember Psalm 129?’
The priest apologized ‘Sorry sister
but the flesh is weak.’
Arriving at the convent,
the nun sighed heavily and went on her way. *
*On his arrival at the church, the priest rushed to look up Psalm 129. It
said, ‘Go forth and seek, further up, you will
find glory.’

Moral of the story:

If you are not well informed in your job,
you might miss a great opportunity.
#2
oldies snowtiger, but still goodies :thumbsup:
#3
[SIZE=5]Lesson 3:[/SIZE]
A sales rep, an administration clerk, and the manager are walking
to lunch when they find an antique oil lamp.
They rub it and a Genie comes out.
The Genie says, ‘I’ll give each of you just one wish.’
‘Me first! Me first!’ says the admin clerk. ‘I want to be in the Bahamas,
driving a speedboat, without a care in the world.’
Puff! She’s gone.
‘Me next! Me next!’ says the
sales rep. ‘I want to be in Hawaii ,relaxing on the beach with my personal
masseuse, an endless supply of Pina Coladas and the love of my life.’
Puff! He’s gone.
‘OK, you’re up,’ the Genie says to the manager.
The manager says, ‘I want those two back in the office after lunch.’

Moral of the story:** **

Always let your boss have the first say. **
#4
this educational and funny
#5
snowtiger
[SIZE=4]Lesson 2:[/SIZE]
A priest offered a Nun a lift.
She got in and crossed her legs, forcing her gown to reveal a leg.
The priest nearly had an accident.
After controlling the car, he stealthily
slid his hand up her leg.
The nun said, ‘Father, remember Psalm 129?’
The priest removed his hand.
But, changing gears, he let his hand slide up her leg again.
The nun once again said, ‘Father, remember Psalm 129?’
The priest apologized ‘Sorry sister
but the flesh is weak.’
Arriving at the convent,
the nun sighed heavily and went on her way. *
*On his arrival at the church, the priest rushed to look up Psalm 129. It
said, ‘Go forth and seek, further up, you will
find glory.’

Moral of the story:

If you are not well informed in your job,
you might miss a great opportunity.


pmsl
#6
[SIZE=5]Lesson 4** **[/SIZE]

An eagle was sitting on a tree resting, doing nothing.
A small rabbit saw the eagle and asked him, ‘Can I also sit like you and do
nothing?’
The eagle answered: ‘Sure, why not.’* *
So, the rabbit sat on the ground below the eagle and rested. All of a
sudden, a fox appeared, jumped on the rabbit and ate it.

[SIZE=5]Moral of the story:[/SIZE]
To be sitting and doing nothing, you must be sitting very, very high up.
#7
[SIZE=5]Lesson 5[/SIZE]
A turkey was chatting with a bull.
‘I would love to be able to get to the top of that tree’ sighed the turkey,
‘but I
haven’t got the energy.’
‘Well, why don’t you nibble on some of my droppings?’ replied the bull.
They’re packed with nutrients.’
The turkey pecked at a lump of
dung, and found it actually gave him enough strength to reach the lowest
branch of the tree.
The next day, after eating some more dung, he reached the second branch.
Finally after a fourth night, the turkey was proudly perched at the top of
the tree.
He was promptly spotted by a farmer, who shot him out of the tree.

[SIZE=5]Moral of the story:* *[/SIZE]

Bull S*** might get you to the top, but
it won’t keep you there.. **
#8
King of Thieves;3162887
oldies snowtiger, but still goodies :thumbsup:

Hi KOT ...Where have you been ? not seen you on here for yonks! :)
#9
gurujosh;3162891
this educational and funny

........... of course :whistling:
#10
[SIZE=5]Lesson 6** **[/SIZE]
A little bird was flying south for the winter. It was so cold the bird
froze and fell to the ground into a large field.
While he was lying there, a cow came by and dropped some dung on him.
As the frozen bird lay there in the pile of cow dung, he began to realize
how warm he was.
The dung was actually thawing him out!
He lay there all warm and happy, and soon began to sing for joy.
A passing cat heard the bird singing and came to investigate.* *
Following the sound, the cat discovered
the bird under the pile of cow dung, and promptly dug him out and ate him.

[SIZE=5]Morals of the story:** **[/SIZE]

(1) Not everyone who s***s on you is your enemy.
(2) Not everyone who gets you out of s**t is your friend.
(3) And when you’re in deep s***, it’s best to keep your mouth shut! **
#11
[CENTER]THUS ENDS THE FIVE MINUTE
MANAGEMENT COURSE **
:):p
[/CENTER]
#12
nice one, i like it
#13
snowtiger
Hi KOT ...Where have you been ? not seen you on here for yonks! :)


Hey snowtiger :). I've just been busy the past few weeks. Its good to be back though, things have seemed to have quietened down a bit, less arguments. Good to see you've still got the jokes coming as well, they always brighten up my day.
#14
I like lesson 3 and 4:)
#15
King of Thieves;3163029
Hey snowtiger :). I've just been busy the past few weeks. Its good to be back though, things have seemed to have quietened down a bit, less arguments. Good to see you've still got the jokes coming as well, they always brighten up my day.

....... good to have you back :thumbsup: yes I think the arguing was getting a bit out of hand at times, but has settled down at the moment:) .. (famous last words !! )
#16
Marina;3163101
I like lesson 3 and 4:)

I think lesson 6 is mine :-D
#17
They were rather funny :thumpsup:
#18
X_vampiress_X;3163338
They were rather funny :thumpsup:

Glad you had a chuckle at them vampiress :thumbsup:
#19
awesome

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