50 Shades of Manx - Chapter 1 - Fenellas Story & Chaper 2 - Voirreys Story
Ok - mainly the Manxies on here will understand the local bits - but thought it might make everyone smile ...............
50 Shades of Manx - Chapter 1 - Brief Encounters
"Oh my god" he whispered as he nuzzled my neck
"I can still smell the chips cheese & gravy you dropped on Peel prom, you smell so good".
His hands felt firm as he fondled the material of my lovely Primark denim shorts,
"let's go somewhere more private" he rasped huskily as he threw his Lambert & Butler to the ground with a flourish.
He lifted me romantically over his shoulder giving my Primark clad bum a slap as a promise of what was to come. Swaggering & swaying due to the 6 cans of Carling he'd just drunk I whispered in his ear"hurry up before it has too much of an effect on you!"
We managed to stay composed until we got there but couldn't contain ourselves any longer, quickly giving in to our desires.
After a passionate 5 minutes I was just getting to the point of no return when I saw a bright light "you're so good" I panted " I never saw bright lights before!" when we were rudely dragged from the throes of passion by a voice shouting angrily.
"For god's sake Voirrey what have I told you about having it off in bus shelters, get on this bus now it's the last one to Douglas"
Reluctantly I grabbed our Billy who was sat on the beach and said goodbye to Juan, I never saw him again but remember always the time we spent together, it was the most romantic hour of my life!!!!
Chapter 2
Fifty Shades of Manx - Chapter 2 - Fenella
I'd just finished another long shift at the fish factory. As I headed home along the Prom I wondered if gutting and cleaning fish was to be my life's destiny, surely with my GCSE in car maintenance I deserved better than being stuck in a factory with a load of smelly kippers all day.
Deep in thought and looking forward to my favourite tipple of White Lightning later, I braved the driving rain with my hoody up.
I heard him before I saw him, he was standing next to a classic brown 1990's Ford Fiesta, kicking at a flat tyre and swearing at the top of his voice.
I carried on walking, a bit nervous at the raised voice at first, but as drew nearer i copped my 1st glimpse of HIM!!!
OMG he was gorgeous, a wet sleeveless 'wife beater' vest clinging to his sexy beer belly and hairy chest, loads of tattoos displayed in all their inky glory finished of with a lovely pair of customised rip-off jeans hanging cheekily off his pert bum, his Simpsons boxers proudly on display with just enough visible **** crack to send a girl's pulse racing.
I knew I had to speak to him, didn't care about the risks and bravely approached him.
"Aright yessir " I muttered " I've got a GCSE in car maintenance, can I help?"
He turned to look at me and I thought my heart would jump into my mouth, he stood there swigging from his can of Carling with his Lamber &Butler hanging from his sexy lips
"stupid pile of ****" he responded huskily "I'll have to find a room somewhere now, the last bus has just gone & I don't have a spare tyre" (well not one for your car anyway, I thought cheekily!). Thinking fast and grabbing the opportunity to spend some time with him I answered "you can stay at mine if you like, I'm sure me mate won't mind" " Great, ta "he drawled," probably shouldn't be driving for at least an hour or so anyway" he flashed me a sexy grin which made my heart skip a beat, it was made even better by the missing front tooth which gave him an air of mystery I found irresistible. I felt my face flush as I became aware of a sudden warm feeling 'down there', god i knew i should've gone for a wee before leaving work!
"I'm Juan" he said, offering me a swig from his can, " thanks I'm Fenella but my mates call me Nell" I answered giving the can back, better not drink too much before we get home, I thought.
He threw his muscly bare arm casually round my shoulder and i drank in the heady, sweet smell of his sweat. As we headed off into the dark night I somehow knew that my life was about to change forever.
Juan leant on me as we walked, well I walked he swayed, I guess he'd had a few tinnies too many and I wondered if I might be able to use ( or abuse) the situation to my advantage later!
"You smell lovely" he suddenly uttered, what is it?"
"kippers" I giggled embarrassed" how can they smell lovely?!"
" dunno really, just reminds me of something i smelt recently, I'm sure it'll come to me later" he answered.
We carried on along the quiet promenade, the rain had lightened and the silence was broken only by Juan passing the occasional bout of wind.
I suddenly realised that I had to have a wee urgently, "can you wait here while I just nip onto the beach" I asked him
"sure babe, I'll wait here & have a quick fag" he answered, I quickly ran down the steps to the beach half hoping, half dreading that he'd follow me.
I was just pulling up my leggings when I became aware of someone watching me in the moonlight, OMG he had followed and was stood staring at me, his intentions clearly visible in his lecherous toothless grin which made me gasp and sent my pulse racing as I realised how much I wanted it too.
"You are one sexy biatch" he rasped as he dragged me to my feet and pulled me into his sweaty embrace, "your smell is driving me crazy".
He kissed me hard, his hands pulling at my clothes and we fell together onto the beach, crushing discarded ice creams cones and chip wrappers beneath us.
"wait" he growled suddenly as he nibbled my lip stud " there's something I have to tell you"
I looked up at him, a mixture of disappointment and frustration coursing through me, FFS what could be so bad?!
"I don't usually do this" he muttered, embarrassed, lisping through the gap in his teeth " I have special needs"
"what kind of special needs?" I gasped, my imagination running riot.
"I need to play a sort of game for this to work for me" he continued,"I
can only have sex if I have my special toys".
" ok" I answered cautiously "what kind of toys are we talking about here?" images of nipple clamps and whips sending fresh ripples of passion through me.
"Well, I've actually got them in the car he answered, "if you wait here I'll run back for them so you can see for yourself before agreeing to anything". He suddenly looked like a little boy, waiting for my acceptance "be as quick as you can" I gasped, "I don't think I can wait much longer".
He ran off down the prom and I sat on the beach waiting with rising anticipation for him to return, OMG what was he bringing back with him? What would he want me to do? I sucked my lip stud absently whilst pondering the delights to come.
"Right, let's get this party started" Juan was back, a bulging bag clearly visible. He tossed the bag onto the sand and handed me a can of warm beer "this is just for starters" he grinned, his eyes blazing with unbidden excitement, his breath rasping as he drew on his fag WOW, what treats!
I reached out for he bag which I knew was going to add even more excitement to this night. "Not yet Nell, let me do it" he pleaded and picked the bag up. It made strange noises as he moved it, hidden promises of what was to come. Then he opened it and tipped the contents ceremoniously onto the sand in front of me.
WTF? I reached out and cautiously picked up an item squinting to see it properly in the moonlight,"are you being serious?" I asked as the realisation began to set in, regretting it immediately as I saw his crestfallen face. "I mean, is this really what you want to use?"
" I need it babe, that's all I can say, if you want us to continue then you have to want this too" he answered looking down at his treasures with a mixture of pride and lust on his craggy face.
What choice did I have? Nervous and embarrassed I simply nodded and waited for him to take the lead, I'd never done anything like this before and didn't know what was expected of me.
He leant over and kissed me roughly breathing the last of his fag smoke into my hair, god he was so sexy, how could I say no to this man?!
"Just go with it babe" he whispered, I promise it'll be good.
Fresh lust coursed through my body as he kissed me and pulled at my leggings and thong. He reached out and picked up an object, handing it to me "just hold it for a few minutes first see how it feels in your hand" he murmured. I tried, really I did, to keep control and keep it in but suddenly I couldn't contain my self any longer and gave into the rising emotions " Oh My God" I yelled, spluttering and laughing hysterically at the same time, Juan sat up suddenly, surprised by my outburst "when you said toys the last thing I expected was a bag of bloody squeaky animals! The yellow duck I'd been holding tentatively let out a loud squawk in protest.
Juan muttered, pulling his Scooby Doo boxers on and gathering together his booty, " I thought you'd understand" he shouted as he ran off down the beach " I thought you loved me!"
I sat in the moonlight laughing hysterically before getting up and heading home bloody hell, what a night, boys & their toys I laughed to myself.

All Comments (11)
Jump to unread Post a Commentyea, i put that on here last week, but thought htis was mildly amusing too - if thats the sort of thing that makes you laugh :D
no idea - i haven't read it :D
It wasn't actually written for a wider market but as a laugh with my FB friends, so I apologise for those of you who don't like it!!!