2 Irish men were living together.
Paddy says to Murphy,
"Murphy, will you set the alarm for 5 in the morning?"
Paddy say, " Will you go away for God sake, Sure there is only the 2 of us here!!!!"
Paddy pulls alomg side a lorry at a set of traffic lights. he winds down his window and shouts to the driver....." Hey mister, yer losing yer load all over the road"
The driver ignores him and waits for the lights to turn green and drives off.
Paddy quickly catches up and again shouts " Mister....yer losiing yer load!!!"
Again, the driver of the lorry just ignores him.
This time, Paddy is very insistant. beeping his horn and flashing his lights!
They both stop at the next set of lights and the lorry driver winds down his window and says,
" listen paddy will you stop being a f**king idiot....im gritting the roads!!!!!"
I was in the pub last night and a really ugly woman came up to me and said
" What does reincarnation mean?"
So I said,
" It means when you die, you come back as something else."
So she said
" So when I die I can come back as a pig?"
So I said
" Look love....your not f**king listening