A dog is for life not just for Christmas, so be careful at the next office Christmas party.
The reason old man use Viagra is not that they are impotent. It's that old women are so very ugly
I said to my girlfriend, you shouldn't eat before you swim. She said, "why not"? I said, you look fat.
When I was a kid, I used to have an imaginary friend. I thought he went everywhere with me. I could talk to him and he could hear me, and he could grant me wishes and stuff too. But then I grew up, and stopped going to church.