A few little jokes.............. - HotUKDeals
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A few little jokes..............

Banana79 Avatar
8y, 1m agoPosted 8 years, 1 month ago
Imagine you are in Africa . You have been tied upside down, hanging on a tree with
a rope, over a large bough, anchored on the other side to the ground.
A candle is slowly burning the rope, and the lion is waiting for you to drop and be his lunch.
Your survival hinges on the rope staying intact, there is no one
around to help you. What to do now ............
write your answer before your scroll down....
Scroll down for answer...


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Sing a Happy Birthday song !!!!!!!





Charlie was a very successful marketing director. Sadly, his wife Rita dies. At the cemetery, Joe's friends and family are appalled to see that the headstone reads:

"Here lies Rita, wife of Charlie, MCIM, Post Graduate Diploma in Marketing and Marketing Director of Quality Marketing Services Ltd."

Charlie was standing in front of Rita's grave reading the headstone when he suddenly burst into tears.

His brother says to him, "I'm not at all surprised that you find this distasteful. It's right that you should cry, pulling a cheap stunt like this on our Rita's headstone."

Through his tears, Joe sobs, "You don't understand.
They forgot to add the phone number!




My wife dresses to kill. She also cooks the same way.
************
My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we met.
************
A good wife always forgives her husband when she's wrong.
************
I bought my wife a new car. She called and said, "There was water in the carburetor."
I asked her, "Where's the car?"
She replied, "In the lake."
************
The secret of a happy marriage remains a secret.
************
I haven't spoken to my wife in 18 months - I don't like to interrupt her.
***********
My girlfriend told me I should be more affectionate.
So I got myself two girlfriends.
************
Man is incomplete until he is married. Then he is finished.
************
A little boy asked his father, "Daddy, how much does it cost to get married?
The father replied, "I don't know son, I'm still paying."
************
A man placed an ad in the classifieds: "Wife wanted."
The next day he received a hundred letters.
They all said the same: "You can have mine."
*************
It's not true that married men live longer than single men.
it only seems longer.
*************
Losing a wife can be very hard. In my case, it was almost impossible.
*************
A man meets a genie. The genie tells him he can ask for whatever he wants, but his mother-in-law gets double of what he gets.
The man thinks for a moment and says, Okay, give me a million dollars and beat me till I'm half dead."
*************
The most effective way to remember your wife's birthday is to forget it once.
**************


_________________
Banana79 Avatar
8y, 1m agoPosted 8 years, 1 month ago
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(7) Jump to unreadPost a comment
Comments/page:
#1
Could you explain the first one ?
#2
And the second one, was it Charlie or Joe?

Those first 2 sucked spectacularly, but the others were ok I s'pose
#3
Have you never blown out candles on your birthday ....lol . Doh!!!!
#4
debbielon
Have you never blown out candles on your birthday ....lol . Doh!!!!


Lol, thank you!
#5
dmccabe
And the second one, was it Charlie or Joe?

Those first 2 sucked spectacularly, but the others were ok I s'pose


Good point, Charlie or Joe?!
#6
Banana79
No need for that.


Ok boiled gently..... :thumbsup:
#7
thekudos
Ok boiled gently..... :thumbsup:


Thanks, I think! :roll:

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