A few more from Tommy Cooper ( allegedly ) - HotUKDeals
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A few more from Tommy Cooper ( allegedly )

taasda Avatar
8y, 11m agoPosted 8 years, 11 months ago
Two Aerials meet on a roof - fall in love - get married

The ceremony was rubbish but the Reception was Brilliant.

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"Doctor, I can't pronounce my F's, T's and H's."

"Well you can't say fairer than that then"

---------------------------------
So I went to the dentist.

He said "Say Aaah."

I said "Why?"

He said "My dog's died."
---------------------------------

So I got home, and the phone was ringing. I picked it up, and said
'Who's speaking please?'

And a voice said "You are."
-------------------------------

So I rang up my local swimming baths.
I said 'Is that the local swimming baths?'

He said 'It depends where you're calling from.'
---------------------------------
So I rang up a local building firm,
I said 'I want a skip outside my house.'

He said 'I'm not stopping you.'
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So I was in my car, and I was driving along, and my boss rang up, and he
said 'You've been promoted.'

And I swerved.

And then he rang up a second time and said 'You've been promoted again.'

And I swerved again.

He rang up a third time and said 'You're managing director.'

And I went into a tree.

And a policeman came up and said

'What happened to you?'
And I said 'I careered off the road.'

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Now, most dentists' chairs go up and down, don't they?
The one I was in went back and forwards.

I thought 'This is unusual'.
And the dentist said to me
'Mr. Cooper, get out of the filing cabinet.'

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Two cannibals eating a clown. One says to the other

"Does this taste funny to you?"

---------------------------------
A man walked into the doctors,
The doctor said "I haven't seen you in a long time"
The man replied, "I know I've been ill"

---------------------------------

I had a ploughman's lunch the other day.
He wasn't very happy.

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I bought some HP sauce the other day.
It's costing me 6p a month for the next 2 years.
---------------------------------
taasda Avatar
8y, 11m agoPosted 8 years, 11 months ago
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(4) Jump to unreadPost a comment
Comments/page:
#1
I laughed...thank you...
#2
'I careered off the road.'

Nice one :thumbsup:
#3
:w00t:
#4
So I went to the dentist.

He said "Say Aaah."

I said "Why?"

He said "My dog's died."


:w00t:

:-D

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