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A few words of wisdom that can only come with age

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No one is listening until you make a mistake. Success always occurs in private, and failure in full view. The colder the X-ray table, the more of your body is required on it. The hardness of … Read More
snowtiger Avatar
9y, 1m agoPosted 9 years, 1 month ago
No one is listening until you make a mistake.

Success always occurs in private, and failure in full view.

The colder the X-ray table, the more of your body is required on it.

The hardness of the butter is proportional to the softness of the bread.

The severity of the itch is proportional to the reach.

You never really learn to swear until you learn to drive.

The problem with the gene pool is that there is no lifeguard.

Monday is an awful way to spend 1/7th of your life.

The sooner you fall behind, the more time you'll have to catch up.

A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.

If you must choose between two evils, pick the one you've never tried before.

A fool and his money are soon partying.

Plan to be spontaneous tomorrow.

Always try to be modest, and be darn proud of it!

If you think nobody cares about you, try missing a couple of payments.

How many of you believe in telekinesis? Raise my hand....

Attempt to get a new car for your spouse--it'll be a great trade!

I'd kill for a Nobel Peace Prize.

Everybody repeat after me....."We are all individuals."

Do not take rat poison from the hand that criticizes you.

Don't be sexist; broads hate that!

Love may be blind, but marriage is a real eye-opener.

Hell hath no fury like the lawyer of a woman scorned.

Bills travel through the mail at twice the speed of checks.

Hard work pays off in the future. Laziness pays off now.

Eagles may soar, but weasels aren't sucked into jet engines.

Borrow money from pessimists--they don't expect it back.

Half the people you know are below average.

99 percent of lawyers give the rest a bad name.

42.7 percent of all statistics are made up on the spot.

It has been determined that research causes cancer in rats.

To handle yourself, use your head; To handle others, use your heart.

Anger is only one letter short of danger.

If someone betrays you once, it's his fault; If he betrays you twice, it's your fault.

Great minds discuss ideas; Average minds discuss events; Small minds discuss people

God gives every bird its food, But he does not throw it into its nest.

He who loses money, loses much; He who loses a friend, loses more; He who loses faith, loses all.

Beautiful young people are accidents of nature, But beautiful old people are works of art.

Learn from the mistakes of others. You can't live long enough to make them all yourself.

The tongue weighs practically nothing, But so few people can hold it.
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snowtiger Avatar
9y, 1m agoPosted 9 years, 1 month ago
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#1
Knowledge is knowing that a tomato is a fruit, wisdom is knowing not to put it in a fruit salad
#2
kelly_o_fanatic
Knowledge is knowing that a tomato is a fruit, wisdom is knowing not to put it in a fruit salad


Good one but
Not any more hun .............. not to my liking but each to their own eh :w00t:

Here’s the recipie:

1/2 large watermelon in rind, seedless preferred
1 pint baby or grape tomatoes, quartered
1 handful fresh basil leaves, cut into fine strips
2 tablespoons olive oil, or to taste
1 tablespoon balsamic vinegar, or to taste
x salt to taste

Cut the watermelon in half lengthwise, and then crosswise into 1/4″ slices. Cut off the rind.

Arrange the watermelon slices on a platter. Top with the tomato quarters and the basil and mint strips. Drizzle with the olive oil and vinegar. Sprinkle with a bit of salt and serve.
#3
snowtiger
Not any more hun .............. not to my liking but each to their own eh :w00t:

Here’s the recipie:

1/2 large watermelon in rind, seedless preferred
1 pint baby or grape tomatoes, quartered
1 handful fresh basil leaves, cut into fine strips
2 tablespoons olive oil, or to taste
1 tablespoon balsamic vinegar, or to taste
x salt to taste

Cut the watermelon in half lengthwise, and then crosswise into 1/4″ slices. Cut off the rind.

Arrange the watermelon slices on a platter. Top with the tomato quarters and the basil and mint strips. Drizzle with the olive oil and vinegar. Sprinkle with a bit of salt and serve.


Isnt that watermelon in an ordinary salad? Thats the only thing I would put in a fruit salad, but would put the rest in an ordinary salad....
#4
Why do you need a driver's license to buy liquor when you can't drink and drive?

Why isn't phonetic spelled the way it sounds?

Why are there interstate highways in Hawaii?

Why are there flotation devices under plane seats instead of parachutes?

Why are cigarettes sold in petrol stations when smoking is prohibited there?

Do you need a silencer if you are going to shoot a mime?

Have you ever imagined a world with no hypothetical situations?

How does the guy who drives the snowplow get to work in the mornings?

If 7-11 is open 24 hours a day, 365 days a year, why are there locks on the doors?

If a cow laughed, would milk come out her nose?

If nothing ever sticks to TEFLON, how do they make TEFLON stick to the pan?

If you tied buttered toast to the back of a cat and dropped it from a height, what would happen?

If you're in a vehicle going the speed of light, what happens when you turn on the headlights?

You know how most packages say "Open here". What is the protocol if the package says, "Open somewhere else"?

Why do we drive on parkways and park on driveways?

Why is it that when you transport something by car, it's called a shipment, but when you transport something by ship, it's called cargo?

You know that little indestructible black box that is used on planes, why can't they make the whole plane out of the same substance?

Why do noses run and feet smell?

Why is brassiere singular and panties plural?

How is it that a building burns up as it burns down?

Why is it that when you're driving and looking for an address, you turn down the volume on the radio?
#5
He he he

My fave is why do noses run and feet smell?
#6
very true things :)

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