A guy walks into a bar with an octopus...
He sits the octopus down on a stool and tells everyone in the bar that the octopus can play any musical instrument in the world."
Everyone in the bar laughs and calls him an idiot.
"Ok, I'll give $10 to anyone who has an instrument that the octopus can't play.
A man walks up with a guitar and gives it to the octopus.
The octopus picks up the guitar and starts playing better than Eric Clapton. The guitar owner pays up.
Another man walks up with a trumpet. This time the octopus plays the trumpet better than Miles Davis. The trumpet-owner coughs up.
Then Jock puts some bagpipes on the table. The octopus fumbles with the bagpipes for a minute and then backs off with a confused look.
"Ha!" the Scot says. "Can ye no play it?"
The octopus looks up at him and says: "Play it? I'm going to shag it as soon as I figure out how to get its pyjamas off."