A man & his needs ....................................... ? - HotUKDeals
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A man & his needs ....................................... ?

snowtiger Avatar
8y, 5m agoPosted 8 years, 5 months ago
.
.A typical bloke, having split from his latest girlfriend, decided to take
a holiday. He booked himself on a cruise and proceeded to have the time of
his life, that is, until the ship sank.

He found himself on an island with no other people, no supplies,
nothing, only bananas and coconuts. After about four months, he is lying
on the beach one day when the most gorgeous woman he has ever seen
rows up to the shore.

In disbelief, he asks, 'Where did you come from? How did
you get here?' She replies, 'I rowed from the other side of the
island. I landed here when my cruise ship sank.'


'Amazing,' he notes. 'You were really lucky to have a row boat wash up
with you.' 'Oh, this thing?' explains the woman. 'I made the boat out of
raw material I found on the island. The oars were whittled from gum
tree branches. I wove the bottom from palm branches, and the sides and
stern came from a Eucalyptus tree.
'But, where did you get the
tools?'
'Oh, that was no
problem,' replied the woman. 'On the south side of the island, a very
unusual stratum of alluvial rock is exposed. I found if I fired it to
a certain temperature in my kiln, it melted into ductile iron. I used
that for tools and used the tools to make the hardware.'

The guy is stunned.

'Let's row over to my place,' she says. After a few minutes of
rowing, she docks the boat at a small wharf. As the man looks to shore,
he nearly falls off the boat. Before him is stone walk leading to an
exquisite bungalow painted in blue and white.

While the woman ties up the rowboat with an
expertly woven hemp rope, the man can only stare ahead, dumb struck. As
they walk into the house, she says casually, 'It's not much but I call it
home. Sit down, please. Would you like a drink?'

> 'No! No thank you,' he blurts out,
still dazed.
'I can't take another drop of
coconut juice.' 'It's not coconut juice,' winks the woman. 'I have a
still. How would you like a Pina Colada?'
Trying to hide his
continued amazement, the man accepts, and they sit down on her couch to
talk. After they have exchanged their stories, the woman announces,
'I'm going to slip into something more comfortable. Would you like to
take a shower and shave? There is a razor upstairs in the bathroom
cabinet.'

No longer questioning anything, the man goes into the bathroom.
There, in the cabinet, a razor made from a piece of tortoise bone. Two
shells honed to a hollow ground edge are fastened on to its end inside a
swivel mechanism.
'This woman is amazing,' he muses. 'What next?'

When he returns, she greets him wearing nothing
but vines, strategically positioned, and smelling faintly of gardenias.
She beckons for him to sit down next to her.

'Tell me,' she begins suggestively,
slithering closer to him, 'We've been out here for many months. You've
been lonely. There's something I'm sure you really feel like doing right
now, something you've been longing for?' She stares into his eyes ..

He swallows excitedly
and tears start to form in his eyes.....
'Flippin' hell,
don't tell me you've got Sky Sports?'
Tags:
snowtiger Avatar
8y, 5m agoPosted 8 years, 5 months ago
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All Comments

(15) Jump to unreadPost a comment
Comments/page:
#1
Excellent! Well worth the read!
#2
Brilliant:-D
banned#3
Well done Tiger! :giggle:
#4
Great! :-D
#5
nooo take the woman!!! lol good one
#6
What a loser, lol.
#7
Finish the story!
Did she have Sky Sports? :giggle:
#8
She didnt subcribe to sport channels!
#9
hehe....poofter eh?
#10
brilliant:)
#11
Excellent :thumbsup::lol:
#12
Well done snowTiger ... read a variation but I liked yours the best :thumbsup:
#13
rockyfella
Finish the story!
Did she have Sky Sports? :giggle:


Yes in HD:-D
#14
:giggle: nice ending :p
#15
Great :thumbsup:

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