A man was cupping his hand to scoop water from a Highland burn (stream).
All of a sudden a Gamekeeper shouted, 'Dinnae drink tha waater! Et's fu' ae coo's shiite an pish!'
The man replied, 'My Good fellow, I'm from England. Could you repeat that in English for me'
The keeper replied, 'I said, use two hands - you'll spill less that way!!!