A wetsuit on ebay read the description lol... - HotUKDeals
We use cookie files to improve site functionality and personalisation. By continuing to use HUKD, you accept our cookie and privacy policy.
Get the HUKD app free at Google Play

Search Error

An error occurred when searching, please try again!

Login / Sign UpSubmit

A wetsuit on ebay read the description lol...

shacal Avatar
5y, 8m agoPosted 5 years, 8 months ago
item number 160559216667
Other Links From eBay:
shacal Avatar
5y, 8m agoPosted 5 years, 8 months ago
Options

All Comments

(48) Jump to unreadPost a comment
Comments/page:
Page:
2 Likes #1
I bought this wetsuit brand-new last year and have worn it a fair bit. When I say 'fair' I reckon about 20 times, but then probably more like 30. A fair few times anyway.

HOWEVER you will like this, If it was not being worn, it was hung on a hangar or rolled to prevent creasing AND I rinsed it in fresh water after EVERY session so it's in VERY good condition as I look after my gear, I always do, similarly I take care of my body and shower at least once a day and always moisturise. Yes you're probably getting a feel for the kind of man I am. You can see from the pictures it has no creases and looks lovely. My friend Gaz has got a wetsuit that he doesn't look after and it looks like an Elephant's ****, all wrinkled, a bit like an old man's testicle.

You're probably thinking "People p*ss in wetsuits, I'm not sure about a second hand wetsuit", but believe it or not I have NEVER urinated in this suit, seriously, these suits are too good to be doing such a vulgar act in, the wee just ends up staying in the suit and then when you're sat having a post-surf pint in the pub you smell awful and girls don't like boys that smell of p*ss so you just sit there, alone all night, sobbing into your pint of Betty Stoggs like a lonely desperate p*ss smelling man.

I've included a picture of a bear using a urinal, this is how I normally use the toilet, notice that the animal is not wearing a wetsuit. Although I am not a bear, I, like a bear, do not p*ss in wetsuits.

It's a size medium or "m", it was the top of the range suit when I bought it, I think I paid around £300 for it, still a great warm suit that will make you surf at least 200% better. It won't really but it will keep you warm and it's flexible so you'll be able to throw your arms around like Beyonce whilst you're bouncing along a wave. People will look at you and say "f*ckin hell check that dude out, he knows what he's doing wearing one of those Xcel suits and he's got some fresh dance moves". They probably won't say this.

Now as it's been worn, there's some signs of wear around the neck, which I've taken pictures of, so you don't say "oi you c*nt, there's area of wear around the neck I'm giving you bad feedback". The pictures make it look worse than it is (because they're close-ups), and I've taken the pictures with the suit turned inside out, when it's the right way round you don't see the wear and it has no effect on the performance of the suit. That was a bit boring wasn't it, but it had to be done so you can't take me to eBay court for not being honest with you.

Why am I selling it? Well I've just bought a new one, as I'm a flash tw*t like that, I tend to get a new suit every season, I just like the feel of fresh neoprene on my soft skin, and well to be honest I could do with some cash to pay for prostitutes. No, that was a joke, now you're going to think the suit is riddled with disease but it's not as I was joking I do NOT engage with ladies of the night.

I'll post it out the next working day following cleared payment, or if you're around the Truro area you can come and collect it thus avoiding postage charges. Having said that, if you're a maniac, maybe you should just let me post it to you as I don't want to be murdered to death, especially as the summer is just beginning! WOO HOO.

Any questions just ask, I'll answer them very quickly as I'm sat at a computer all f*cking day, unless there's waves.

Thanks for looking and reading all of that ridiculous text, I hope you have a wonderful day.



--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
On 14-Mar-11 at 23:43:11 GMT, seller added the following information:






UPDATE.

This listing for my urine-free wetsuit is getting a lot of unexpected attention which is nice but I'm feeling I should do something positive with all the 'f*cking energy man', so I've decided to give 90% of the money it makes to the Red Cross to aid their efforts in Japan. That sounds all 'oh look at me I'm so nice I'm giving to charity' doesn't it... yeah well p*ss off.









--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
On 15-Mar-11 at 00:42:42 GMT, seller added the following information:

Okay so people are now saying "only 90%", and I agree that sounds a bit sh*t, you see I was worried that if it only made it up to £20 or something I'd be unable to afford the postage! So let's say as the value goes up so does the percentage!
#2
lmao
#3
an essay lol didn't read all of it just the 'updates'
#4
HA! :D
banned#5
how the fudge is it on £107.11 :S
#6
"Elephant's ****, all wrinkled, a bit like an old man's testicle."

HAHAHAHA
#7
he lives near me !! soooo tempted to pay him a visit, then i can check if he really does get out of the water to pee.lol.
banned 1 Like #8
MR1123
an essay lol didn't read all of it just the 'updates'


Fail.
#9
LOl loving all the Q & A's at the end :) 62,000 views!
#10
Ha ha, made me smile anyway
#11
Made me chuckle :D
#12
class
#13
haha made me laugh
banned#14
ladies of the night.........hmmmmmmmm
#15
had about 6,000 views in the past 20mins this is gna go huge
#16
How much is it on now?
#17
80k

done 2k since my last post lol

Edited By: joeprosho on Mar 15, 2011 22:00
banned#18
There are enough contradictions in that drivel to conclude the writer is a pathalogical lier, so I doubt the Red Cross will see one single penny
#19
slamdunkin
There are enough contradictions in that drivel to conclude the writer is a pathalogical lier, so I doubt the Red Cross will see one single penny

tbh some idiot will probably bid 1million for it and the seller will see nothing
#20
LOL that made me laugh too its like 83,000 views his other item got 2k too lol people were probably expecting a funny description.

He said he'll post a receipt or something.
banned#21
I hope they do...I was thinking about wreckng his auction myself....why?....because I can.
#22
slamdunkin
I hope they do...I was thinking about wreckng his auction myself....why?....because I can.

shame on you slamdunkin
#23
what happens to the clock when it reaches 99,999? it doesnt have any space for more. Guess the ebay counter didnt expect so many views
#24
Its going up because theres a second, free, NEW wetusit being thrown in with it...
banned#25
Not exactly a great advert for xcel, he's worn it 20-30 times and it has split on the collar?
#26
Haha love it :) £330 currently
#27
how depressing the counter just went to 100,000 :(
#28
Seems like excel are in on the act too:
VERY IMPORTANT NEWS.

Just got off the phone to XCEL wetsuits in Hawaii, who are very kindly donating a BRAND NEW 2011 Drylock wetsuit to the auction, it will remain a 3/2 (summer) but will be available in a range of sizes to suit the winning bidder. So now, in addition to the original p*ss free suit, you'll also get a brand spanker, but still no bears or doors, just TWO wetsuits free of urine, one old and knackered (m) and one lovely and new (any size).

Big love to XCEL for their kind donation.


Obviously they think a £300 wetsuit that looks pretty kn**kered after 30 uses is something to be proud of ;)
#29
quite interesting, dry wrap are in on the act which is quite a good bit of promotion to be honest considering they give away a free towel for coverage to 1,000s of people over 200k people now!
#30
Wow, it's on £640.00 :)
#31
livingthelife07
Wow, it's on £640.00 :)


You know you want it!
#32
nikkib123
livingthelife07
Wow, it's on £640.00 :)


You know you want it!

I do, I will go to £800 and that's my maximum bid haha :p
#33
Aww, Ebay have called him and said theywill prob pull the auction!
#34
LoozR
Aww, Ebay have called him and said theywill prob pull the auction!

why would they pull it?

its good advertising for all parties involved


Edited By: joeprosho on Mar 17, 2011 09:20
#35
£920
#36
Current bid: £1,020.00
total views 311380

I wonder if that's a ebay record for most views?
#37
Up to £6,100.00
#38
lindauk
Up to £6,100.00
not sure if they will actually pay that though
#39
£9,099.00!!!

HOLLLYYY SHH*************TTTTTTTTTTTTT
#40
best part:

Q: will this suit fit a six foot tall girl like me or does it have a big, baggy, threadbare, stretched crotch area due to I pursume, your huge, massive donger? I wouldnt be interested in bidding on this suit if it is likely to make me look like some kind of budgy smugler 17-Mar-11
A: I think you've got me confused with someone else, I'm hung like a small to medium sized dog. Apparently I should find solace in the expression "It's not the size of the wave, it's the motion of the ocean". I have no idea what this means.

Post a Comment

You don't need an account to leave a comment. Just enter your email address. We'll keep it private.

...OR log in with your social account

...OR comment using your social account

Thanks for your comment! Keep it up!
We just need to have a quick look and it will be live soon.
The community is happy to hear your opinion! Keep contributing!