My husband came home with a tube of K Y jelly and said, "This will make you
happy tonight." He was right. When he went out of the bedroom, I squirted it
all over the doorknobs. He couldn't get back in.
A husband and his wife had a bitter quarrel on the day of their 40th wedding
anniversary. The husband yells, "When you die, I'm getting you a headstone
that reads: 'Here Lies My Wife-Cold As Ever'."
"Yeah," she replies, "when you die, I'm getting you a headstone that
reads: Here Lies My Husband - Stiff At Last.'"