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Absent parents shamed on website

pavilion Avatar
9y, 6m agoPosted 9 years, 6 months ago
Absent parents who refuse to pay maintenance for their children could be named and shamed under plans to reform the Child Support Agency (CSA).

More info - http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/uk/6725145.stm

Wots it goin to achieve at the end of the day if you dont see you kid/s why sould you pay it . I woulnt mind but its been scrapped next year ..... wot do you think ?
pavilion Avatar
9y, 6m agoPosted 9 years, 6 months ago
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#1
You should pay for YOUR kids, who else do you expect to pay for them.
#2
stora
You should pay for YOUR kids, who else do you expect to pay for them.



Agreed, no doubt us tax payers should foot the bill.:roll:
#3
"Measures include:

Imposing a curfew on parents who refuse to pay for their children

Removing the passports of parents who refuse to pay maintenance

Allowing C-MEC to take money out of people's bank accounts if they fail to co-operate

Using latest available tax-year information and fixing the award for a year

Using gross weekly income, rather than net - to limit opportunities for manipulating income levels

Charging absent parents for the costs of tracking them down

Information sharing with credit reference agencies - potentially affecting future loan or mortgage applications

Naming and shaming absent parents who refuse to pay maintenance"




Drastic measures.

But if that's what it takes then so be it.
Though let's not stop half way.

Let's name and shame parents who, for no good reason, refuse to allow access to the other parent to see their child.

Each is equally shameful

As for " Removing the passports of parents who refuse to pay maintenance"

Lets remove the passports of parents who refuse access.

One day your child lives in the UK, The next day they could be living in a foreign land and a 1 parent will know zilch.This is so very wrong.
#4
How much of what the missing parent pays out actually goes to the other parent? I didn't go through the CSA to get any money when I split up with my partner as I didn't think it was fair to rip him off when he had to pay our mortgage (he lived in the house). I ended up accepting a paltry 20.00 a week in cash
#5
I was awarded £10 a week from my ex wife 5 years ago. So far I have received.... £0
#6
stora
You should pay for YOUR kids, who else do you expect to pay for them.


And how do you no that the mother is spendin the money on the kid/s ??? sum mothers spend it fags , beer , going ,ete

I have my kids on a tue , fri to sun ..... Becouse i have them for about 72 hours i dont pay anything. heres sum info r you if you see your kids and you do spend money on them wen you have them then KEEP ALL YOUR RECEIPTS ! Becos you can prove to the csa that you r bein a part of their wellbeing .


Just shows you how screwed this country is. We will name & shame people for not paying maintenance for their children but wont name people who are known sex offenders.
banned#7
pavilion
And how do you no that the mother is spendin the money on the kid/s ??? sum mothers spend it fags , beer , going ,ete

I have my kids on a tue , fri to sun ..... Becouse i have them for about 72 hours i dont pay anything. heres sum info r you if you see your kids and you do spend money on them wen you have them then KEEP ALL YOUR RECEIPTS ! Becos you can prove to the csa that you r bein a part of their wellbeing .


Just shows you how screwed this country is. We will name & shame people for not paying maintenance for their children but wont name people who are known sex offenders.


I agree with you.

When I split my my childrens father, we came to our own arrangement but the C.S.A. keep trying to interfere even though we are happy.

If a man is not willing to pay, he will always find a way of avoiding doing so.

What about women who trick a man to have a baby. Does he then get named and shamed.

There are plenty of other things wrong with this country without wasting time and money on this issue.

I think alot a men get a raw deal when it comes to this. Not all men run off with another woman.

As you said, its being scrapped anyway.
banned#8
if they had got their act together in the first place and had not got into the mess they are in perhaps the draconian measures they are thinking about would not be needed... another reason for staying single and not having kids
#9
i saw in the papers today that a girl, age 11 is sueing the CSA for £100K for failing to keep up with her father which was failing to pay the [SIZE=2]maintenance[/SIZE] fee
banned#10
Naming and shaming - not sure what that will achieve, well i am sure actually, absolutley nothing. Some parents dont give a crap at what they do and nothing will change that :roll:
#11
pavilion
And how do you no that the mother is spendin the money on the kid/s ??? sum mothers spend it fags , beer , going ,ete




Just shows you how screwed this country is. We will name & shame people for not paying maintenance for their children but wont name people who are known sex offenders.


Doesn't it show that your attitude is a bit screwed? Spending some money while they are in your care equates to parenthood does it?

Quote: "I have my kids on a tue , fri to sun ..... Becouse i have them for about 72 hours i dont pay anything. heres sum info r you if you see your kids and you do spend money on them wen you have them then KEEP ALL YOUR RECEIPTS ! Becos you can prove to the csa that you r bein a part of their wellbeing ."

Presumably, you take them to places where their intellectual, cultural and educational needs are best served:p
banned#12
cheapskate58
Doesn't it show that your attitude is a bit screwed? Spending some money while they are in your care equates to parenthood does it?

Quote: "I have my kids on a tue , fri to sun ..... Becouse i have them for about 72 hours i dont pay anything. heres sum info r you if you see your kids and you do spend money on them wen you have them then KEEP ALL YOUR RECEIPTS ! Becos you can prove to the csa that you r bein a part of their wellbeing ."

Presumably, you take them to places where their intellectual, cultural and educational needs are best served:p


There is no need to have a pop at him.

There are plenty of mothers and at home dads who do nothing with their children.

I'm sure that his children are just happy to spend time with their father.
#13
Prissymiss
There is no need to have a pop at him.

There are plenty of mothers and at home dads who do nothing with their children.

I'm sure that his children are just happy to spend time with their father.


:thumbsup:
#14
When I saw this thread title thought it was another onerefering to Madeleine McCann's parents :whistling:
banned#15
col
When I saw this thread title thought it was another onerefering to Madeleine McCann's parents :whistling:
#

lol
#16
Prissymiss
There is no need to have a pop at him.

There are plenty of mothers and at home dads who do nothing with their children.

I'm sure that his children are just happy to spend time with their father.


Cobblers:p

Doing what?

If you've split up from your partner, you have to work twice as hard -and that means both parents- to make up for the impact that your marital problems will have on any children.

Having them for three days a week, taking them to the match and feeding them burgers, curries or Chinese takeaways just doesn't equate to being a good parent. Then having the gall to say: "here're my receipts! I've done my bit!!" is taking the pi$$ out of society as a whole:x
banned#17
Yes, totally amazing what each of us class as neglect isn't it :whistling:
banned#18
cheapskate58
Cobblers:p

Doing what?

If you've split up from your partner, you have to work twice as hard -and that means both parents- to make up for the impact that your marital problems will have on any children.

Having them for three days a week, taking them to the match and feeding them burgers, curries or Chinese takeaways just doesn't equate to being a good parent. Then having the gall to say: "here're my receipts! I've done my bit!!" is taking the pi$$ out of society as a whole:x


At least he wants to spend time with his children, plenty don't.

You obviously have issues and thats your problem.

There are plenty of women who split up, chuck the man out , then expect him to pay the mortgage while she moves the boyfriend in.

It cuts both ways.

All I'm saying is that he seems reasonable.

I'm happy with my situation.

If you have problems, then its not his or my fault.

I'm just looking at the bigger picture.
#19
cheapskate58
Cobblers:p

Doing what?

If you've split up from your partner, you have to work twice as hard -and that means both parents- to make up for the impact that your marital problems will have on any children.

Having them for three days a week, taking them to the match and feeding them burgers, curries or Chinese takeaways just doesn't equate to being a good parent. Then having the gall to say: "here're my receipts! I've done my bit!!" is taking the pi$$ out of society as a whole:x



i agree, my ex gives me nothing yet has our kids and buys them mcdonalds, takes their friends out with them,treats them to allsorts ect, and they think hes the bees knees, yet i dont get to do such things cos what i have spare pays for the likes of school trips/uniforms etc, when iask him to contribute he says...'im skint' :x i keep my thoughts to myself tho cos i believe my children should enjoy their childhood, they will reach their own conclusions when they are older
banned#20
loupomm
i agree, my ex gives me nothing yet has our kids and buys them mcdonalds, takes their friends out with them,treats them to allsorts ect, and they think hes the bees knees, yet i dont get to do such things cos what i have spare pays for the likes of school trips/uniforms etc, when iask him to contribute he says...'im skint' :x i keep my thoughts to myself tho cos i believe my children should enjoy their childhood, they will reach their own conclusions when they are older

Yes, there are many of us good, decent parents out there, who have to keep our thoughts to ourselves, sadly we cannot protect our children from the ones who "appear" to idolise them
#21
If a mother doesn't work she won't see a penny of any maintenance payments as I understand it (or maybe they keep a small amount?) unless they are private arrangements. Therefore CSA or the like is not going to help contribute to child's upkeep in this situation.
#22
col
If a mother doesn't work she won't see a penny of any maintenance payments as I understand it (or maybe they keep a small amount?) unless they are private arrangements. Therefore CSA or the like is not going to help contribute to child's upkeep in this situation.



when my ex husband first left me we had an arrangement which i declared to income support, this was deducted from my benefits, but at least he was paying towards his kids, this soon stopped coming and he now pays nothing, whether i was to get the payments or not isnt my beef, its that he only gets to do the 'fun' stuff, ignores the need for essentials, thats not a 'parent' in my eyes
#23
Some mothers just want extra spends for their nights out that benefits don't always cater enough for.
banned#24
col
Some mothers just want extra spends for their nights out that benefits don't always cater enough for.


Now this I agree with. My friend has two single neighbours who don't feed or watch their toddlers (the kids knock on my friends house for food). They manage to drink, smoke and go out all weekend though.

There are too many people who pity the mums (of whom there are plenty that dont deserve it), but very few think of the good dads, they are all tarred with the same brush.

I also agree that those mothers who make access for the father and grandparents difficult should be held accountable.
#25
col
If a mother doesn't work she won't see a penny of any maintenance payments as I understand it (or maybe they keep a small amount?) unless they are private arrangements. Therefore CSA or the like is not going to help contribute to child's upkeep in this situation.


(Sorry Col, not stalking ya)
My ex is on benefits & I've always understood that a private arrangement is more beneficial as if (for example) she recieved £100 a week in benefits & then stated that she recieved £50 a week from me the DSS would 'dock' this amount from her benefits so she would STILL get £100 per week (£50 from each source)?!?!
If this means that she/we are ripping off the benefits system then I apologise to all the taxpayers that have been ROBBED by the government over all the services they cannot get as it's all down to me & the money that THEY see fit to P#SS AWAY on nonsense like Olympic logos!!!
banned#26
CHARLIETHIRTYTWO
(Sorry Col, not stalking ya)
My ex is on benefits & I've always understood that a private arrangement is more beneficial as if (for example) she recieved £100 a week in benefits & then stated that she recieved £50 a week from me the DSS would 'dock' this amount from her benefits so she would STILL get £100 per week (£50 from each source)?!?!
If this means that she/we are ripping off the benefits system then I apologise to all the taxpayers that have been ROBBED by the government over all the services they cannot get as it's all down to me & the money that THEY see fit to P#SS AWAY on nonsense like Olympic logos!!!



LOL:w00t:
#27
col
Some mothers just want extra spends for their nights out that benefits don't always cater enough for.



this may be the case for some but does not mean every single mother is the same, i dont ask my ex for money, but if one of my kids needs new shoes, a school trip or similar, i ask him to contribute (not pay it all) i think that is fair enough, my ex lives about 100 miles away and the last time he was meant to have them he told me he couldnt unless i provide food shopping for them :w00t:
#28
Prissymiss
Now this I agree with. My friend has two single neighbours who don't feed or watch their toddlers (the kids knock on my friends house for food). They manage to drink, smoke and go out all weekend though.

There are too many people who pity the mums (of whom there are plenty that dont deserve it), but very few think of the good dads, they are all tarred with the same brush.

I also agree that those mothers who make access for the father and grandparents difficult should be held accountable.



Have to say I agree with you 100%
#29
those mothers who deny access are just selfish, that is one thing i have never done and i will never either, (unless there is good reason), my kids love their dad and i wont mess around with their feelings, unfortunatly my ex does that enough :-(
#30
CHARLIETHIRTYTWO
(Sorry Col, not stalking ya)
My ex is on benefits & I've always understood that a private arrangement is more beneficial as if (for example) she recieved £100 a week in benefits & then stated that she recieved £50 a week from me the DSS would 'dock' this amount from her benefits so she would STILL get £100 per week (£50 from each source)?!?!
If this means that she/we are ripping off the benefits system then I apologise to all the taxpayers that have been ROBBED by the government over all the services they cannot get as it's all down to me & the money that THEY see fit to P#SS AWAY on nonsense like Olympic logos!!!


I don't think you understand my post.

I stated if a mother is on benefits they wouldn't gain from the CSA etc. I also said only a private arrangement would be beneficial (where you don't inform the benefits people of any payments). Obviously this is the only way to go if you want your kids to benefit from your help otherwise its pointless.

So I am not against the PRIVATE private arrangement as I think you believed :thumbsup:
banned 1 Like #31
loupomm
those mothers who deny access are just selfish, that is one thing i have never done and i will never either, (unless there is good reason), my kids love their dad and i wont mess around with their feelings, unfortunatly my ex does that enough :-(


Thats a shame.

When children are old enough to understand everything, then they make their own minds up.

All any couple can do is try to get on, don't involve grandparents in any disagreements and do what is best for the children.

Unfortunately, this isnt always the case.

The blame can come from either side though, and everyone knows examples of both. There is no clear-cut right or wrong in this discussion as every individual case is different.
#32
col
I don't think you understand my post.

Understood the post & wasn't having a pop Col. Was actually pointing out that the official Government line would be that my ex should declare this almost solely so they could give her less.
My ex realises that every one of the weekends I have (1 in every 2 & 50% approx of the holidays inc half term) cost 50 odd quid in travel alone & she would rather have me to continue to be part of our son's life than an extra £100 a month.
#33
CHARLIETHIRTYTWO
Understood the post & wasn't having a pop Col. Was actually pointing out that the official Government line would be that my ex should declare this almost solely so they could give her less.
My ex realises that every one of the weekends I have (1 in every 2 & 50% approx of the holidays inc half term) cost 50 odd quid in travel alone & she would rather have me to continue to be part of our son's life than an extra £100 a month.


Makes sense :thumbsup:

You are allowed to tell benefits that fathers contribute by providing nappies/clothes etc and this won't have any affect but there is probably just no need really unless they hound you for details :giggle:
#34
Prissymiss
Thats a shame.

When children are old enough to understand everything, then they make their own minds up.

All any couple can do is try to get on, don't invovle grandparents in any disagreements and do what is best for the children.

Unfortunately, this isnt always the case.

The blame can come from either side though, and everyone knows examples of both. There is no clear-cut right or wrong in this discussion as every individual case is different.



yup thats my theory, my kids will grow up and will have their own opinions :thumbsup:

untill then i will do my best to make sure they have a happy safe home and dont go without anything as its not their fault our marriage broke down, yes i do go out, once a fortnight for one night, on a budget, with friends, i thinki deserve that :p but it is LAST on my priorities, if my kids had to go without for me to i wouldnt
#35
col

You are allowed to tell benefits that fathers contribute by providing nappies/clothes etc and this won't have any affect but there is probably just no need really unless they hound you for details :giggle:


All transport costs from Southampton (recently moved to Hastings) to London every 2nd weekend averaging £50 a pop, 80-100% of school uniform costs at the start of the year & then usually a top-up around Easter & pocket money before you even consider what is spent while he's with me in addition to money paid direct to ex.
Having sent proof of earnings to the CSA (roughly 6) years ago I actually phoned them because I had heard nothing following submitting these details & was told by a guy on the other end that "you wanna count yourself lucky...you seem to have slipped through the net"!!!!
.....I've never heard a word since!!!

Sounds like Loupomm has the best answer...just do the best you can for your kids...they're not stupid, they might not be grateful right now but in time will realise who couldn't/can't be bothered.
#36
How come your post isn't in bold Charlie? :-D
#37
col
How come your post isn't in bold Charlie? :-D

Short, sweet (& staggering funny) posts are frequently in bold as are those fired off with big piccies.
Longer, more serious posts are USUALLY in standard with bold to highlight the important sections............ya cheeky lil sod!!!
banned#38
The social security system was set up to help those on low incomes, to top up their income, in other words whatever income they have if it is not substantial to live on then the goverment steps in, not the other way round
#39
Why don't people just sort themselves rather than rely on the state to do it for them?

We all know why, 'cos it ain't the state's cash that gets spent -it's taxpayers's cash. Is anyone who pays tax happy to see it piddled away by the state? No, of course not. Yet ultimately, their only means of directing how their tax is spent is a general election - which invariably elects people who have promised to spend more of their money - duh!!!!

What a fricking nation. So now we have a country where it is reported that a large number of British people, when asked, say that thay have an ambition to live abroad. And very many Brits are doing this and when they do, they take whatever money they have with them to spend overseas.

Meanwhile, we suck in hundreds of thousands of migrant workers to do the jobs that need to be done - yet there are around 4 million people in this country who are economically inactive and the a huge amount of them are claiming benefits such as incapacity benefit!!

This country is knackered:-(
#40
So one partner is going to make the decision whether to name and shame the other. I fear increases in violence / recriminations. Some might see it as vindictive. What a great way to improve relations.

Not saying something should not be done, this just seems wrong to me and won't affect those who don't give a toss anyway. Doing nothing is not an option.

I admire those left with the responsibility of children and who keep their counsel over their partners behaviour and stuggle to do their best in difficult circumstances. The quiet ones never get heard because they are too busy coping.

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