Advice?? 3 year old scared of the dark.. - HotUKDeals
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Advice?? 3 year old scared of the dark..

RosieWoo Avatar
5y, 9m agoPosted 5 years, 9 months ago
Ok so I know this isn't netmums but my laptop and Netmums don't get on well for some reason....anyhoooo..

Just recently my little boy has started to get scared of lots of things, I know it's not rare - mainly just the dark & Hector from Thomas the Tank Engine.

He has to go to bed with the light on - his nightlight isn't good enough anymore. I normally turn it off when I go to bed. He always wakes up every night, sometimes as early as 12.30am, sometimes around 3am, he sits in his bed and shouts and shouts until I hear him and go through then he wants to sleep in my bed - there is literally no way of making him stay in his own bed not even offering to stay with him works.

I know it sounds like a really minor issue and i'm sure it's not uncommon but I don't know how to stop it from happening, how do you stop a child from being scared of the dark? Also I haven't a clue why he's waking up in the first place!

He used to be absolutely terrified of balloons but I managed to get him out of that one by being silly with a balloon and pretending it was my friend :S

Any advice would be great :)
RosieWoo Avatar
5y, 9m agoPosted 5 years, 9 months ago
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1 Like #1
don't keep letting him sleep in your bed - keep putting him back into his own bed or you will have that as an extra problem.
5 Likes #2
How about a "Dream catcher"?

[ http://www.thewindchimeshop.co.uk/162/dream-catchers/?ref=d ]

(Or any other retailer found by Google searching)

Alternatively, a spray bottle washed & re-used as a "monster spray" (filled with water) so that your son can use it to squirt under his bed when he wakes to keep "the monsters" away?

BFN,

fp.
1 Like #3
My three year old is doing exactlynthe same, we have to leave the landing light on all night (no plane landing jokes) or he will shout. Not cracked it yet so will watch thread with interest
#4
PS. This item is also not as bright as a typical nightlight. It projects symbols onto the walls/ceiling in the shape of stars, moons, and so on, as well as other "themes". Different coloured lighting according to the "theme" selected:

[ http://www.glow.co.uk/twilight-turtle.html ]

[EDIT]: This is a particularly useful feature: "Auto shut-off after 45 minutes" [/EDIT]

BFN,

fp.

Edited By: fanpages on Feb 05, 2011 21:36
1 Like #5
Is it the dark he is scared of, or the inability to see the scary monsters that may be hiding in it? My son started off having recurrent bad dreams about wolves (blowing his house down - fairy tales have a lot to answer for!). Then when the foxes started baying across the fields it all got soooooo frightening for him. So he wasn't scared of the dark, just that wolves might be sneaking into his room and obviously, they wouldn't come if the light was on. We soent a while explaining that the farmer had been out and killed all of the wolves and there were no more left so none would ever be able to blow the house down. This worked until he recognised that foxes weren't wolves... the dream just changed. We bought him (he chose it, we told him what it would do and how it owuld work) a dreamcatcher, and it worked. We all had one for each of our rooms at the same time, and we all 'know' what they're doing. Now, if he has a bad dream we just shake the dust off the dreamcatcher so it works again. No more fully lit upstairs for us!

I do know another little boy though, who is now 8 and has a younger sister (heaven knows how she was conceived). He has slept in his parent's bed since the age of two, following a short stint of bad dreams and waking mummy up. That's just not normal, don't let that happen!!!

PS: I love the idea of spraying the monsters with anit-monster spray! Might use that one!
4 Likes #6
ours used to be the same, esp our son, he used to suffer from night terrors, but eventually grew out of it, now he's the opposite, cant wake the lanky sod up sometimes !!! oh to be 17 again .
1 Like #7
A lot of work invovled, but I bought some optical fibre lights from ebay/hong kong, you drill tiny holes in the ceiling and pop one light in each hole, you get 50 or so lights and they change colour-really nice to look at, the kids love watching them, and they are proud of their rooms when friends visit.
#8
richp
ours used to be the same, esp our son, he used to suffer from night terrors, but eventually grew out of it, now he's the opposite, cant wake the lanky sod up sometimes !!! oh to be 17 again .


Funny you should say that, the same son used to wake up SCREAMING when he was a tiny baby. Properly terrified of something. Glad that passed quickly.
#9
Thanks for the advice so far - I totally forgot to mention that he stays with his dad 2 nights a week and as far as i'm aware has no issues and does not wake up at all in the night. We have moved house quite recently too so I suppose that could explain it.

He used to have night terrors but that must be over a year ago since the last one, he didn't sleep through for a single night until he was 18months old so i'm used to this getting up malarkey.

Love your suggestions FP!!

Don't worry I won't be having him sleep in my bed until he's 8!

Edited By: RosieWoo on Feb 05, 2011 21:50
#10
heck im 18 and im a bit jittery in the dark i dont like being in the house at night on my own i need to close every door in the house just so i can feel safe :P yea im a wimp.
#11
Humans are burn with only two fears, Fear of loud noises and fear of falling. Anything is learnt through experience. Saw that on the idiot box at some point
#12
stewby
Humans are burn with only two fears, Fear of loud noises and fear of falling. Anything is learnt through experience. Saw that on the idiot box at some point

Maybe the logic of that would be lost on a 3 year old!
#13
jelli89
stewby
Humans are burn with only two fears, Fear of loud noises and fear of falling. Anything is learnt through experience. Saw that on the idiot box at some point

Maybe the logic of that would be lost on a 3 year old!


Lol, maybe, but as parents it at least gives us cause to consider where the fear has come from. Lots of fears come from fairytales, other fiction or from TV. Why do I find the number catcher on Numberjacks creepy yet mynthree year old doesn't? I guess because I have learnt to associate certain characteristics with creepy people.

My three year old is scared of the dark at home but will happily walk through part of a graveyard inthe dark with mevwhen wevwalk our dog at night which I find very creepy. I find fear fascinating and
#14
Stewby I find the number catcher creepy as well!
#15
I would reccomend a night light/torch next to the bed/ bed side table.


And also stars and moon glow in the dark stickers on the ceiling.
1 Like #16
nikkib123
Stewby I find the number catcher creepy as well!


yeah i remember when my son used to watch that before he started full time school and i used to think 'WTF' !
#17
Lol, maybe, but as parents it at least gives us cause to consider where the fear has come from. Lots of fears come from fairytales, other fiction or from TV. Why do I find the number catcher on Numberjacks creepy yet mynthree year old doesn't? I guess because I have learnt to associate certain characteristics with creepy people.

My three year old is scared of the dark at home but will happily walk through part of a graveyard inthe dark with mevwhen wevwalk our dog at night which I find very creepy. I find fear fascinating and[/quote]

Interesting point how the brain is influenced. Most adults find graveyards a bit eerie, and yet we try and convince our kids that they is no-one there who will harm us. Maybe as adults, subconsiously we are considering the circumstances of why 'people' are there (infant deaths, disease, illness even murder or accident) ? Conversely, what is the block in the brain of rockclimbers, free-runners etc - can adrenalin be that powerful? (soz to hi-jack the thread OP)
#18
jelli89
Lol, maybe, but as parents it at least gives us cause to consider where the fear has come from. Lots of fears come from fairytales, other fiction or from TV. Why do I find the number catcher on Numberjacks creepy yet mynthree year old doesn't? I guess because I have learnt to associate certain characteristics with creepy people.

My three year old is scared of the dark at home but will happily walk through part of a graveyard inthe dark with mevwhen wevwalk our dog at night which I find very creepy. I find fear fascinating and


Interesting point how the brain is influenced. Most adults find graveyards a bit eerie, and yet we try and convince our kids that they is no-one there who will harm us. Maybe as adults, subconsiously we are considering the circumstances of why 'people' are there (infant deaths, disease, illness even murder or accident) ? Conversely, what is the block in the brain of rockclimbers, free-runners etc - can adrenalin be that powerful? (soz to hi-jack the thread OP)[/quote]

No worries hi-jack all you want. It is interesting really!

I also think the number taker is quite scary lol

He already has a go glow light/torch next to his bed..hmmm I think I will try and have a proper talk with him tomorrow about it and see if a dream catcher might help..
#19
http://christmaspresentideas.org.uk/shopping/img/4/36613.jpg

scary stuff!!

haha i kid...ikwym there have been some great suggestions and points made in this thread! must subscribe!!
#20
Awww good luck Rosie :)
#21
magicbeans
http://christmaspresentideas.org.uk/shopping/img/4/36613.jpg

scary stuff!!

haha i kid...ikwym there have been some great suggestions and points made in this thread! must subscribe!!


Apparently he's scared of Hector because he shouts and is mean to the other engines, i've never seen him so terrified of anything before he hides starts screaming and shouting and shaking when he thinks Hector is going to come on the TV!!

nikkib123
Awww good luck Rosie :)


Thanks! I think I need it :)
#22
Keep his bedroom door open, and put a torch by the bed for him to use if he wants. Don't worry, he'll grow out of it.
#23
RosieWoo

Apparently he's scared of Hector because he shouts and is mean to the other engines, i've never seen him so terrified of anything before he hides starts screaming and shouting and shaking when he thinks Hector is going to come on the TV!!

I can see where he's coming from...Hector looks like a hearse!


Edited By: jelli89 on Feb 05, 2011 23:15
#24
I dont know what to advise re his fears however my daughter would be awake all hours of the night.

We discovered she was having her dinner to early for her at around 5pm. Soon sorted it with tea and toast before bedtime. She then became much more settled and rarely woke throughout the night.
#25
A teddy is good at fending off stuff in the dark.
#26
fear of the dark is a fear many are born with, as it is almost like an imprinted memory on us from pre historic times.

Not that my step son has a fear of the dark, but my mum bought him an alarm clock for christmas, which has a light on it, that projects stars onto the ceiling, and also plays different sounds, like the sounds of bird song and waterfalls. I will find out where she got it from.

saying that she bought it to help wake him up for school...... not even a firework under his bed would do that, lol.
#27
chesso
A teddy is good at fending off stuff in the dark.


I used to be terrified of my teddy when I was a small person!
1 Like #28
FrootCake
chesso
A teddy is good at fending off stuff in the dark.
I used to be terrified of my teddy when I was a small person!
Haha... see what I mean?

Seriously, I expect someone did one of those growling and shaking of teddy coming towards your face play things and that stuck with you!!
It's quite easy to make people afraid of things but a big strong teddy can protect you as well. I don't know if that would actually reinforce the irrational fear; it probably would.. but if the fear is already there.

Of course, you have to have at least 2 identical teddies, for substitution purposes!!
#29
Not sure if your religious or anything but play these at night:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jVMUofvyA68 Chapter 2:255
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=589IvJGWtD8 Chapter 67
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VZyE95Fe1Hc Chapter 112
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NInBbN7mKYE Chapter 113
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hmr7_VswM9g Chapter 114

Chapters from the Quran (Muslim Holy book).
Try it. It's recited in Arabic but English translation is in the text - Check them out please.
#30
rosie i look down in shame but it did make me smile when you said about him being scared of hector ...
what an awful train connector thing he is ....lol
It could be something learned as people have said , so take solice that it can be unlearned ,,how I'm not sure ?

hope you find a solution soon x
#31
Flab09
Not sure if your religious or anything but play these at night:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jVMUofvyA68
Chapter 2:255
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=589IvJGWtD8
Chapter 67
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VZyE95Fe1Hc
Chapter 112
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NInBbN7mKYE
Chapter 113
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hmr7_VswM9g
Chapter 114

Chapters from the Quran (Muslim Holy book).
Try it. It's recited in Arabic but English translation is in the text - Check them out please.


Thanks for your suggestion.

astonmart4321
rosie i look down in shame but it did make me smile when you said about him being scared of hector ...
what an awful train connector thing he is ....lol
It could be something learned as people have said , so take solice that it can be unlearned ,,how I'm not sure ?

hope you find a solution soon x


Hector really is horrid, maybe i'll have to buy a Hector toy and make friends with it, then he might like him lol
#32
lol yeah why dont you try it .. you said it worked with the balloons?
Why dont you set an afternoon aside get some boxes and make a hector and a friend to show him that hector isnt that bad .?

lol thats sounds surreal and a bit crazy , but it might help deconstruct this fear he has .
#33
astonmart4321
lol yeah why dont you try it .. you said it worked with the balloons?
Why dont you set an afternoon aside get some boxes and make a hector and a friend to show him that hector isnt that bad .?

lol thats sounds surreal and a bit crazy , but it might help deconstruct this fear he has .


I am a bit crazy so nothing out of the ordinary for us lol - actually I have a huge box left over from Christmas - great idea!!
#34
Just say Hector has a grumpy face and can he do a grumpy face like hector and make a joke of it??
#35
nikkib123
Just say Hector has a grumpy face and can he do a grumpy face like hector and make a joke of it??


I've tried - i've tried telling Hector (when he's on the dvd) that it's naughty to be nasty to the other engines - Leo hid underneath the blanket the whole time I was talking to the telly, oh jeez I really am going insane X)

I reckon he thinks Hector is upstairs - today he won't go up there on his own at all.......hmmmmmm
#36
RosieWoo
nikkib123
Just say Hector has a grumpy face and can he do a grumpy face like hector and make a joke of it??


I've tried - i've tried telling Hector (when he's on the dvd) that it's naughty to be nasty to the other engines - Leo hid underneath the blanket the whole time I was talking to the telly, oh jeez I really am going insane X)

I reckon he thinks Hector is upstairs - today he won't go up there on his own at all.......hmmmmmm


My little boy (also 3) doesn't like watching Thomas, some of the trains are a bit "mean" looking. I just don't let him watch them or turn over when it comes on. He will watch most programs but sometimes an episode will come on and he will say "I don't like this one mummy" and I have to turn over.
#37
nikkib123
RosieWoo
nikkib123
Just say Hector has a grumpy face and can he do a grumpy face like hector and make a joke of it??


I've tried - i've tried telling Hector (when he's on the dvd) that it's naughty to be nasty to the other engines - Leo hid underneath the blanket the whole time I was talking to the telly, oh jeez I really am going insane X)

I reckon he thinks Hector is upstairs - today he won't go up there on his own at all.......hmmmmmm


My little boy (also 3) doesn't like watching Thomas, some of the trains are a bit "mean" looking. I just don't let him watch them or turn over when it comes on. He will watch most programs but sometimes an episode will come on and he will say "I don't like this one mummy" and I have to turn over.


Yep I turn it off too when the Hector episode comes on...the trucks are all a bit mean looking!!

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