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Advice from parents needed.

Jackie Chan Avatar
8y, 4w agoPosted 8 years, 4 weeks ago
My oldest started nursery in september.
She had her first parents day before the holidays and the teachers said that she does not mix with the other children, enjoys her own company and seems to be distracted at times.
I spoke to friends and my neighbour who have said i shouldn't worry, as if she is quiet and withdrawn chances are she is very focused in taking in the things she is being taught, and comitting things to memory.
As a parent i am worried because i feel she may be setting off on the wrong foot.
What do you guys think? am i just worrying too much? What should i do?
She seems fine when she's at home with her little sister.
Jackie Chan Avatar
8y, 4w agoPosted 8 years, 4 weeks ago
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#1
When you say she's fine at home with her little sister, is she also ok with other people/family members/children that aren't normally in your household?

Children handle new situations differently. When my little girl started nursery last September, the teachers were always full of positive things to say about her, but did say throughout the time she was there that she didn't tend to play in groups, she just played with one or two of her friends at a time. Yet you'd see all the boys running round together and generally wrestling each other to the floor in a big heap.

It could be that she's just finding her feet there and taking her time to settle herself in properly as all children handle things differently. Some cry their eyes out every day you take them, some just take everything in their stride and others just take everything in and join in when they are ready.

If you haven't noticed any problems with your daughter interacting with anyone else, I'd put it down to the latter reason so just give it a bit more time and I'm sure she'll start joining in a bit more :thumbsup:
#2
hi i used to work in a nursery,i dont think it means anything if a child is quiet and doesnt mix with the others,it might be that she needs more time to get used to people around her before she opens up and joins in especially if she is new to nursery,also she may just enjoy her own company,and be independant, ,when i went to college to do my early years care and education course they teach you ways to get a child to join in,and to get to know people better in the group to make them feel comfortable,and confident to join in,when i was at nursery there was a little boy there that wouldnt talk only a few words,and didnt want to join in with the others,so we played games that needed more than 1 child to play, and if i was sitting at a table doing an activity with a group of children and one of the children were quiet i would make conversation between the children so they would interact with each other,just something like asking one child to pass a rolling pin to another,or action games like row your boat where you need a partner,i really dont think you should worry at all,i have 3 children and when my smallest started nursery i had to stay with him to settle him until he joined in and felt comfortable with the people around him,i used to sit over the other side of the room from him and just with him knowing i was there gave him the confidence to join in,im sure the nursery would allow you to go in for a session and then you could try and get your daughter to join in playing a game or activity with you and other children,i found when i done this that my son didnt want to sit back whilst i was doing an activity with the other children,you could go to a session and see for yourself how your daughter is doing if you are really worried im sure they will allow it we used to.I think It could also mean that your daughter is very confident,you know your daughter better than anyone else,and im sure if you were to go into the nursery and help out for a session you would see for yourself how your daughter was and you would be able to see how she is getting on,you might find that having you there in the room with her your daughter might be different to what the teachers are saying,and i know what you are saying about being ok at home with her sister as my littlest boy will have a pop at my 11 year old at home but at school he wouldnt stand up for himself against a boy his own age,i shouldnt worry at all because if your daughter started nursery in september,and you had a parents evening shortly after its not a lot of time for her to settle in,it took my son 4 months to settle in and join in when he went,maybe you could even take her little sister along to a session if they still allow you to,i done this with my son i said lets show your brother where you go to school and when we got in there he was just taking his brother everywhere and showing him things and then the other children were coming along and asking him if it was his brother and he was answering them and basically started to join in. I even arranged for his nanny to go in with him and his auntie another time ,I think it would give you piece of mind, to see for yourself,my little boy wouldnt say the alphabet at nursery but could say it perfectly at home and they kept telling me he doesnt know his alphabet and i knew he did,and they couldnt tick it off his checklist until they heard it for themselves so i taped him at home doing the alphabet and gave it to his teacher.Good luck and i really dont think you should worry.
#3
i got also got called in school about my son being quiet not mixing in with others but he was fine his 14 now and mixes well and as always enjoyed school, has plenty of friends and teachers have informed me he is a well liked person by all teachers and pupils. i think he just likes to weigh people up first i guess we all cant be the same otherwise what a boring world we all would live in.
#4
ttwcd
i got also got called in school about my son being quiet not mixing in with others but he was fine his 14 now and mixes well and as always enjoyed school, has plenty of friends and teachers have informed me he is a well liked person by all teachers and pupils. i think he just likes to weigh people up first i guess we all cant be the same otherwise what a boring world we all would live in.


sounds just like my son! We were constantly being told that he wouldnt stand in front of the class and speak out or put his hand up to answer questions. This was when he was 4 years old! TBH we ignored those comments and focused on the fact that he was working well and learning, he is nearly 14 now and a good, hardworking lad. We couldnt ask for more.
#5
my 2 1/2 year old is the same, she plays near children but doesnt play with them, and she doesnt understand sharing yet, when we were a the doctors she walked upto a little boy stole his dummy and spat it out (shes never had a dummy before so she didnt know what to do with it lol), sure she'll get used to it, and start interacting better with other children, all children are different

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