advice needed my aunties hubby has just left her.... - HotUKDeals
We use cookie files to improve site functionality and personalisation. By continuing to use HotUKDeals, you accept our cookie and privacy policy.
Get the HotUKDeals app free at Google Play

Search Error

An error occurred when searching, please try again!

Login / Sign UpSubmit

advice needed my aunties hubby has just left her....

£0.00 @
they have 3 children together and he just came home out of the blue said he doesnt luv her anymore and left they are both working but my auntie only does 13hrs there mortgage is £800 a month will she… Read More
edjaned Avatar
7y, 10m agoPosted 7 years, 10 months ago
they have 3 children together and he just came home out of the blue said he doesnt luv her anymore and left
they are both working but my auntie only does 13hrs there mortgage is £800 a month will she have to pay all of that on her own or will she have to sell up?
edjaned Avatar
7y, 10m agoPosted 7 years, 10 months ago
Options

All Comments

(25) Jump to unreadPost a comment
Comments/page:
#1
she can reduce her mortgage and claim child support from the man:thumbsup:

http://www.csa.gov.uk/
#2
wow.......... she must be in shock?

her main concern is what........ the mortgage?

Depending on the age of the children he wont be able to just flee from his financial responsibilities I dont think xx

Why did the hubby leave? Does he have someone else?

I guess she needs to protect herself and the children and not allow him to emotionally manipulate her ( easier said than done, I do know ) whilst keeping a door open for negotiation... and importantly get some legal advice. Also, see what benefits she can claim to top up her earnings. Arrange a week or so off work to cover everything.

I would think right now she just needs some company and emotional support sweetie x x
#3
Wouldn't she get like working tax credits and single parent things?
#4
when my ex and i split up yrs ago, i had to give up work to look after kids....
the DSS paid my * interest* on mortgage i think which left a shortfall of 150 per month. I made an agreement with ex that he paid the CSA direct to the mortgage as to make sure the kids kept there security. Which is paramount in a situation like this.
Remember DSS pay this only after 6months so for first 6 months she may have to pay it. ( i ended up having to do it on credit card and got myself in mess) but i was not going to upset the kids by having to move as well as mum and dad divorcing,

Ring Dss on Monday , it may have changed now love.
#5
omg i bet she is just beside herself panicking about everything she can claim working child tax may help her a bit
#6
also contact mortage company, they may be able to extend mortgage time SHORT TERM to help out or give her few months rest bite on mortgage , then they add it on the end.
#7
If his name is on the mortgage he is liable for half. She maybe allowed to claim 25% off her council tax as well. Being a single habitant
#8
She should get a appointment with the citizens advice bureau they will find out what she is entitled to and help her with forms and things
#9
AshleyRFC
Wouldn't she get like working tax credits and single parent things?


she needs to work 16 hours to get tax credits-would advise her to try and get an extra 3 hours from her employers-it would make a HUGE difference.
#10
ClarityofMind
wow.......... she must be in shock?

her main concern is what........ the mortgage?

Depending on the age of the children he wont be able to just flee from his financial responsibilities I dont think xx

Why did the hubby leave? Does he have someone else?

I guess she needs to protect herself and the children and not allow him to emotionally manipulate her ( easier said than done, I do know ) whilst keeping a door open for negotiation... and importantly get some legal advice. Also, see what benefits she can claim to top up her earnings. Arrange a week or so off work to cover everything.


she said he wouldnt do that to her but i have my own opinions on that :whistling:
he was just constantly out as if he hated spending anytime together as a family,my auntie is very soft and has put up with it for years and let him lead a single life so i think he doesnt have respect for her
he said he cant treat her like that anymore but i think he has someone else

can she get tax credits if she only does 13 hrs and will she get help with childcare as her youngest is 1
#11
edjaned
she said he wouldnt do that to her but i have my own opinions on that :whistling:
he was just constantly out as if he hated spending anytime together as a family,my auntie is very soft and has put up with it for years and let him lead a single life so i think he doesnt have respect for her
he said he cant treat her like that anymore but i think he has someone else

can she get tax credits if she only does 13 hrs and will she get help with childcare as her youngest is 1


16 hours for tax credits-tell her to ask her employer for 3 hours extra-once she qualifies she can also get childcare credit
#12
edjaned
she said he wouldnt do that to her but i have my own opinions on that :whistling:
he was just constantly out as if he hated spending anytime together as a family,my auntie is very soft and has put up with it for years and let him lead a single life so i think he doesnt have respect for her
he said he cant treat her like that anymore but i think he has someone else

can she get tax credits if she only does 13 hrs and will she get help with childcare as her youngest is 1


If he's been living as a single man then it would be emotionally easy to form a connection to someone else. But their child being only one... where does he get off in creating babies and then hating " spending time together as a family"

Two large bricks necessary I think!

Still it wont help her worrying about what he is doing and what lead to this, she must just care for herself and the kiddies now. he'll be lucky if she STAYS " soft" and doesnt have someone stick his own head up his ...... as he's been doing himself for however long.
#13
their 9 yr old is distraught but their 13yr old has said "well he is hardly ever here anyway"
he has told the children himself and just said he doesnt love their mum anymore,he is not blaming her he said its just him
she doesnt want him to go as she fears being on her own they have been married 18 years but hopefully she will get stronger in time
he also said they have nothing in common as she is very much a home maker but he just likes to be in the pub
he has got himself a flat and is leaving today
banned#14
he will have to pay 25% of his income to support the children, if you remain in work you wil need to either push your hours to 16 so you can claim the working part of the tax credits, otherwise you will need to claim IS who will deduct anything over £20 per week you earn, be careful as with income support that will only be for yourself and with a little job and you maintenance it may push you over the IS levels


for help with her mortgage she will have to be on IS where they pay interest only, and this used to be after 9 months unless you have been deserted by your other half, desertion means you come home one day and he is gone, you dont know where he is etc,etc
#15
edjaned
their 9 yr old is distraught but their 13yr old has said "well he is hardly ever here anyway"
he has told the children himself and just said he doesnt love their mum anymore,he is not blaming her he said its just him
she doesnt want him to go as she fears being on her own they have been married 18 years but hopefully she will get stronger in time
he also said they have nothing in common as she is very much a home maker but he just likes to be in the pub
he has got himself a flat and is leaving today


This was thought about and planned, so she isnt gonna be able to stop him. Telling the children himself shows how serious he is.

What he said to the kids, how he told them, is despicable. Can't believe any man would say such emotional claptrap to his own children. They shouldn't be having to hear stuff like that from their own father. Awful.
#16
this site should help,
http://www.entitledto.co.uk/Default.aspx?AspxAutoDetectCookieSupport=1

it will tell her which benefits she will be eligible for,
it may be the case that she would be entitled to income support even if she works 13hours a week
http://www.adviceguide.org.uk/index/life/benefits/help_for_people_on_a_low_income_-_income_support.htm#who_can_get_income_support

http://www.jobcentreplus.gov.uk/JCP/Customers/WorkingAgeBenefits/Incomesupport/index.html

What she should do is ring up and claim first thing on monday - 0800 055 6688
Her application can be taken over the phone (approx 45 mins) and any benefit that she may be entitled to will be identified.
She should be able to claim council tax benefit & should inform the tax credits office that there has been a change in her circumstances for child tax credits - (which is all done when she claims income support over the phone)
Hope that helps.
#17
has the saint been at it again

is there no boundaries this man wont cross
#18
i have already advised her to go to CAB but she will have to wait till mon to sort things out
she doesnt really want to sell the house,she has 9 yrs mortgage left they have not long had the attic converted to an extra bedroom so that has made their repayments higher
my auntie is very good with money where as he isnt he has now said he WILL pay half the mortgage but he doesnt want to go down the road of CSA
the thing is he is a milk man i dont know how he thinks he can afford to pay £400 for half the mortgage then pay for his own flat and bills??
i think what makes me think he is seeing someone else is if he has been happy enough to have her put up with his single lifestyle for all these years and she has been allowing him to do this why would he want to leave so sudden and get himself into a bigger debt?it doesnt make sense to me,she has suggested marriage counseling but he has said no it wont work
banned#19
personally if it was me i would be sorting things out asap, by monday i would be at CAB and a solicitors, she will be fine, she is probably very frightened of losing what she is used to, though to us it is worth losing but to her she knows no different yet, hope se gets sorted real soon

Also if she does end up on IS she no longer has to deal with the CSA if they can come to a mutual arrangement about the mortgage, before if on IS you had to deal with the CSA, now you dont
#20
edjaned
i have already advised her to go to CAB but she will have to wait till mon to sort things out
she doesnt really want to sell the house,she has 9 yrs mortgage left they have not long had the attic converted to an extra bedroom so that has made their repayments higher
my auntie is very good with money where as he isnt he has now said he WILL pay half the mortgage but he doesnt want to go down the road of CSA
the thing is he is a milk man i dont know how he thinks he can afford to pay £400 for half the mortgage then pay for his own flat and bills??
i think what makes me think he is seeing someone else is if he has been happy enough to have her put up with his single lifestyle for all these years and she has been allowing him to do this why would he want to leave so sudden and get himself into a bigger debt?it doesnt make sense to me,she has suggested marriage counseling but he has said no it wont work


At the moment, he feels he's made his decision. To go as far as telling his kids and finding a place to live, shows how serious he is. He isnt gonna change his mind at this point.

If they make a financial compromise, it should involve the kids staying in their home. The kids need it for their emotional stability and thats in his best interests as well as hers.

Of course he doesnt wanna go down CSA route.... they can garnish his wages and he will have no choice in the matter.

Advise her to be wise and to allow him enough rope to hang himself at the moment. If he believes this new life is what he's been hoping and praying for : Let him try it out and realise he still has the kids and the wife, even if he's shacked up with some bird who likes visiting the pub with him and stroking his tummy, he still has the responsibilities and just because he's hit middle age they dont soak up into the woodwork.
#21
ClarityofMind
At the moment, he feels he's made his decision. To go as far as telling his kids and finding a place to live, shows how serious he is. He isnt gonna change his mind at this point.

If they make a financial compromise, it should involve the kids staying in their home. The kids need it for their emotional stability and thats in his best interests as well as hers.

Of course he doesnt wanna go down CSA route.... they can garnish his wages and he will have no choice in the matter.

Advise her to be wise and to allow him enough rope to hang himself at the moment. If he believes this new life is what he's been hoping and praying for : Let him try it out and realise he still has the kids and the wife, even if he's shacked up with some bird who likes visiting the pub with him and stroking his tummy, he still has the responsibilities and just because he's hit middle age they dont soak up into the woodwork.


Much lulz @ the agony aunt giving advice......CoM, yer a star....your entertainment is priceless... :-D
#22
StevenA2000_uk
Much lulz @ the agony aunt giving advice......CoM, yer a star....your entertainment is priceless... :-D


oh hush up you :p

:)
#23
pcnutta
when my ex and i split up yrs ago, i had to give up work to look after kids....
the DSS paid my * interest* on mortgage i think which left a shortfall of 150 per month. I made an agreement with ex that he paid the CSA direct to the mortgage as to make sure the kids kept there security. Which is paramount in a situation like this.
Remember DSS pay this only after 6months so for first 6 months she may have to pay it. ( i ended up having to do it on credit card and got myself in mess) but i was not going to upset the kids by having to move as well as mum and dad divorcing,

Ring Dss on Monday , it may have changed now love.


I think it's 13 weeks before the DWP will pay the interest on the mortgage, but as you say, get the info direct from the horses mouth.

tigerallstars
If his name is on the mortgage he is liable for half. She maybe allowed to claim 25% off her council tax as well. Being a single habitant


If both their names are on the mortgage, they are both liable for 100% of it, not 50%.
#24
thanks for all ur help
#25
edjaned
thanks for all ur help


you're welcome hun

Let us know how she gets on xxxx

Post a Comment

You don't need an account to leave a comment. Just enter your email address. We'll keep it private.

...OR log in with your social account

...OR comment using your social account

Thanks for your comment! Keep it up!
We just need to have a quick look and it will be live soon.
The community is happy to hear your opinion! Keep contributing!