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advice on neighbour problems

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Hi I have a neighbour who is constantly complaining about everything I do. We got some ( only 4) chickens on Monday from the little hen rescue (ex battery hens) and it has only been 4 days and she ha… Read More
melcarroll Avatar
7y, 11m agoPosted 7 years, 11 months ago
Hi I have a neighbour who is constantly complaining about everything I do. We got some ( only 4) chickens on Monday from the little hen rescue (ex battery hens) and it has only been 4 days and she has already been round to complain. Apparently I am the neighbour from hell as my son has a drum kit. My children dare to play outside on their trampoline and now I have chickens. That does sound noisy but to put it in perspective my son plays his drums in the garage at the front of the house ( this neighbour lives 2 houses away behind us)He plays no more than 4 times a week for no more than 20 mins a time and he needs to practise as he is doing GCSE music. I dont let him play before 8am or after 8pm and he is at school 8.30 - 4pm. The trampoline gets used about once a month if that and not late at night and the chickens cluck a bit I don't have a cockerel to do the dawn cock a doodle doo thing. I live in a village of about 800 houses and there are 2 farms both with chickens. This neighbour is the Parish councils nightmare and complains about everything they complained that the bushes near them were overgrown and kids played in them so the parish council had them cut down and they then complained that this let the noise from the school and farmyard into their garden.

I don't know what to do she said she was going to get onto the council about us (this is a privately owned home) should I be worried???
melcarroll Avatar
7y, 11m agoPosted 7 years, 11 months ago
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#1
Let em complain, if they have nowt better to do with there time. I would say just start thinking of things to complain to her about but that would be petty and bringing yourself down to her level. Don't let it get you stressed, don't think she has any grounds by the sound of it. Chill.
#2
Don't let them upset you. If things are as bad as you say, then get in first and go to the Council yourself. Explain everything just as you have here and ask for help/advice in dealing with your neighbour. At least then you are seen as being proactive and if your neighbour DOES complain, the Council will be aware of the position. Hope this helps. Keep your chin up. Kids will be kids and are allowed to play outside.:thumbsup:
banned#3
I'd complain about them complaining so much.
#4
By the way, when I said "If things are as bad as you say", I didn't mean that you were doing anything wrong!!! I meant if the neighbour is as bad as you say!!!!
#5
I have noisy kid near me...perhaps if we kill the parents, someone will come and take the kids away!
If people want kids they should look after them and not expect other people to suffer their lack of control.
#6
i feel for you ive got one of these neighbours constantly complaining, she complains my dog bark 24 7 she lives at the bottom of my garden she called dog warden in to give me a warning i got onto the environment health agency and asked them if they could monitor my noise level only because yes i have two dogs and at the time i had three young children so i knew my dogs werent barking they are not left in garden at night and they didnt bark environment officer called back a month later and told me my neighbours in my own street didnt realise that i had two dogs and not to worry. so maybe you could try the same to make you feel better
#7
Podzak;5347008
I'd complain about them complaining so much.

I wish there was someone I could complain to. I feel that they are bullying me and that I am not entitled to enjoy my home. I wouldn't mind but I have been very reasonable and asked all the other neighbours who say the drums are not a problem as it is so infrequent many say they like to hear them (my son is quite good even if I am biased) I kept receiving stuff in the post about soundproofing and noise pollution I think it was from these neighbours they had actually emailed a soundproofing company giving my address and this company kept ringing asking if we required any further info. ( I have no proof it was them though) I did ring the council about the noise pollution thing and explained about my son's drumming and he thought we were being reasonable the only other thing he could suggest was if we ask them if there was a particular time when it was most inconvenient and avoid that time. I did ask but was told it was always inconvenient.
#8
Go with maxsmummy that is good sound sensible advice especially as they had dealings with her before and are aware of her constant complaints over trivial matters.
#9
maxsmummy
Don't let them upset you. If things are as bad as you say, then get in first and go to the Council yourself. Explain everything just as you have here and ask for help/advice in dealing with your neighbour. At least then you are seen as being proactive and if your neighbour DOES complain, the Council will be aware of the position. Hope this helps. Keep your chin up. Kids will be kids and are allowed to play outside.:thumbsup:


good advice
#10
dr_aj;5347038
I have noisy kid near me...perhaps if we kill the parents, someone will come and take the kids away!
If people want kids they should look after them and not expect other people to suffer their lack of control.

You don't quite get it do you it is my family these neighbours are complaining about playing in there own home and garden. I do not let my kids wander the streets and I do supervise them I try and encourage my son to keep up the drum practise as he has been put off by the complaints. I also like my kids to play on the trampoline as I think it is good exercise if you would prefer I will send them to play near your house!
#11
Potassium nitrate, Isocyanide, powdered sugar and aluminium nitrate are easy chemicals to obtain......just saying.
#12
The sun is shining - summer is here at last!! Get outside in the garden with your children and enjoy it. Life is too short to "sweat the small stuff". Ignore people like this. They obviously have nothing better to do with their time - quite sad, really.
#13
Potassium nitrate, Isocyanide, powdered sugar and aluminium nitrate are easy chemicals to obtain......just saying.
So are ammonia and iodine but Iwouldn't recommend it
#14
To be fair on the woman, I don't think her complaint is completely groundless. Drums are about the loudest common instrument going, and listening to someone who might be crap would drive me insane, too. Garages, with their hard surfaces and loosely fitted doors, don't do much to muffle the sound either. I think you should at least meet her half-way with the drums, and buy a set of silencer pads for them. They won't mute the drums, and they won't do wonders for the tone, but they will cut a lot of the sound down. Better still, have the son hawk the drumkit on Gumtree, and replace it with a MIDI drumkit. Alesis do one, I think it's called the DM7, for only about £300, and it looks to be a pretty nice peice of equipment. It's still not silent, but it does cut noise down simply to the noise you get hitting large pads with sticks. It's much more compact than an acoustic drumkit too, so it can be played in the bedroom. They're also much cheaper and easier to record than an acoustic kit, so they're pretty good all round.

Besides that though, I think some tall hedges and a sniper rifle is your best bet.
#15
Thanks for all the support and advice.
It has made me feel a bit better. It gets me down when they complain because I hate to think I am causing anyone misery and then I think am I really that bad and maybe my other neighbours are just to polite to complain?
#16
dxx;5347176
To be fair on the woman, I don't think her complaint is completely groundless. Drums are about the loudest common instrument going, and listening to someone who might be crap would drive me insane, too. Garages, with their hard surfaces and loosely fitted doors, don't do much to muffle the sound either. I think you should at least meet her half-way with the drums, and buy a set of silencer pads for them. They won't mute the drums, and they won't do wonders for the tone, but they will cut a lot of the sound down. Better still, have the son hawk the drumkit on Gumtree, and replace it with a MIDI drumkit. Alesis do one, I think it's called the DM7, for only about £300, and it looks to be a pretty nice peice of equipment. It's still not silent, but it does cut noise down simply to the noise you get hitting large pads with sticks. It's much more compact than an acoustic drumkit too, so it can be played in the bedroom. They're also much cheaper and easier to record than an acoustic kit, so they're pretty good all round.

Besides that though, I think some tall hedges and a sniper rifle is your best bet.

We did consider that, but my son saved up nearly £1000 of hard earnt cash (cutting greens on local golf course) to buy a fab kit. If he was playing it every day for hours on end then I would consider it a problem. Also the garage is integral to the house and has double thickness walls and ceiling with sound proofing and it is on a block and beam floor so it has an air gap underneath and insulation on the door. I went and stood outside their house the other day when he was playing because I can't understand why it is unbearable in their garden when I can sit and watch tele inside my house without it bothering me. When I was standing near their house I could hear it as if someone was knocking a bit of wood about 3 streets away.
Even changing the drum kit would not solve the chickens or the using my own garden problem. Also there are already 2 big hedges between us as these are not my nearest neighbours. The farm they complained about the noise from is the other side of the school playing field but that was still too noisy for them!!! I did think about taking some earplugs round for them.
#17
Drums in a garage !!!! ... I'm glad you don't live near me.. that must be horrendous.
#18
dr_aj;5347038
I have noisy kid near me...perhaps if we kill the parents, someone will come and take the kids away!
If people want kids they should look after them and not expect other people to suffer their lack of control.


You arent a parent are you?

NO? GOOD!

A quiet kid is a sad kid, they should be allowed to play and express themselves vocally within reason, we live near our kids primary school and all we hear at breaktimes is laughing and screaming from the kids having FUN. To me there is no finer sound and I love to hear it, its a sound of happiness.


To the OP it sounds like you are a considerate neighbour, ask your immediate neighbours if they think you are excessively noisy, when they say no you know theres nothing to worry about, your problem neighbour is obviously a deeply sad individual if they have to constantly complain about trivial crap.



And well done you for rescuing the CHUCKS.
#19
Dont worry yourself with these trivial people, let your kids PLAY, and your chickens run free!!!!!!
#20
melcarroll
We did consider that, but my son saved up nearly £1000 of hard earnt cash (cutting greens on local golf course) to buy a fab kit. If he was playing it every day for hours on end then I would consider it a problem. Also the garage is integral to the house and has double thickness walls and ceiling with sound proofing and it is on a block and beam floor so it has an air gap underneath and insulation on the door. I went and stood outside their house the other day when he was playing because I can't understand why it is unbearable in their garden when I can sit and watch tele inside my house without it bothering me. When I was standing near their house I could hear it as if someone was knocking a bit of wood about 3 streets away.
Even changing the drum kit would not solve the chickens or the using my own garden problem.


Thing is, it's not really a case of whether you consider it a problem but whether the neighbours do, and the fact that only one has been aggressive enough to complain doesn't mean that they are the only ones who groan whenever he starts playing. It's the problem with drumkits, and it's why silencer pads are essential. Also, it's worth pointing out that different people posess different degrees of aural perception. I'm not saying that your hearing is bad or that their hearing is good, but are they quite old? Bass perception does increase substancially in the elderly, and bass travels far wider than higher sounds, so it is quite possible that they will hear the drumming far more clearly than you will.

Anyway, you're right in that this won't stop them complaining about the chicken or the trampoline, but this is valid advice to stop the drums being such a problem. You really have to buy the pads.
#21
Yeah, I wouldn't get upset about it. If I was in your shoes I'd probally go and knock on there door and have it our with them face to face, explaining your issues. If they don't want to compromise or play ball then report them to the council as being a pain in the a**e"! I think i'd be relectunt to going straight to reporting them as they might take offence if they're contacted by anyone else and by the sounds of the kind of people they are, they won't take it well and will probally make your life more difficult (that's my guess). Hope it works out anyways...;-)
#22
Inactive
Drums in a garage !!!! ... I'm glad you don't live near me.. that must be horrendous.


LOL I think you're either joking or you should start up you're own little club with the neighbour that's giving her grief - unfortunately, you're probally being serious! Shame...weren't you ever young and enjoy doing stuff other than complaining!!?
#23
keep a dairy of all interaction with all your neighbours and the times your son plays the drums. and any correspondence with the council and thier names. and any hurtful comments from anyone in the town.

your nieghbour could be keeping a dairy about you!!! at leas this way you have something to fight with if things get "offical"
#24
just either ignore them or next time tell them to F off
#25
ilovepink
just either ignore them or next time tell them to F off


hahaha I concur, forget my advice...that's much better :thumbsup:
#26
i would get the drums playing harder, get the kids jumping higher, and let the chikens roam free into their garden preferably. how can they even complain about all three if their not even side by side to you and 2 houses behind. i would kick her ass for even complaining or give her a right mouthful so that she wont even think of complaining. also not as if your kids do all this after 10/11pm when you cant make any noise. dont worry about it :-D
#27
blackpeppa;5347455
keep a dairy of all interaction with all your neighbours and the times your son plays the drums. and any correspondence with the council and thier names. and any hurtful comments from anyone in the town.

your nieghbour could be keeping a dairy about you!!! at leas this way you have something to fight with if things get "offical"

Hi we keep a record of whenever my son plays his drums as he is also doing the drumming for his Duke of Edinburgh award skills section. That is how I know he plays no more than 20 mins at a time.
I have read all the noise pollution leaflets from the council and to be prosecuted I would have to have failed to comply with a noise abatement notice which they will only issue if they consider there to be a noise nuisance I am sitting here typing this and can only hear birds singing in the gardens I heard a chicken first thing this morning clucking but have not heard them since and I am in my own garden not 2 houses away, I just dont get it but I did read a sentence in the councils leafelt that I thought was apt
[FONT=Arial][SIZE=2][FONT=Arial][SIZE=2][LEFT]"You may have become over-sensitive to the
noise, particularly if you do not get on with your
neighbours. Some people will “tune in” to a
particular noise and find it annoying even when
most other people would not."

I think this sums up my neighbours.[/LEFT]

[/SIZE][/FONT][/SIZE][/FONT]
#28
I would write a letter to the houses closest to you, explain that you are getting complaints from one person and unsure if they are founded complaints or not. Say you have asked neighbours but are unsure if they are too polite to be honest. Ask them to let you know in letter form (totally anon) if the noise levels from your house are a problem. Include an SAE in each letter and put through them through letterboxes of about 8 houses closest. Might seem like a pain, but for the cost of a few stamps you might have a clearer picture of peoples opinions. If they still say there is no problem, carry on as you are and enjoy life!

:)
#29
ChipSticks
I would write a letter to the houses closest to you, explain that you are getting complaints from one person and unsure if they are founded complaints or not. Say you have asked neighbours but are unsure if they are too polite to be honest. Ask them to let you know in letter form (totally anon) if the noise levels from your house are a problem. Include an SAE in each letter and put through them through letterboxes of about 8 houses closest. Might seem like a pain, but for the cost of a few stamps you might have a clearer picture of peoples opinions. If they still say there is no problem, carry on as you are and enjoy life!

:)


good idea that :thumbsup:
#30
Inactive
Drums in a garage !!!! ... I'm glad you don't live near me.. that must be horrendous.


:thumbsup:


Food for thought,,,So to speak,,,
http://www.express.co.uk/posts/view/53471/Eco-family-face-eviction-for-keeping-25-chickens
#31
melcarroll
You don't quite get it do you it is my family these neighbours are complaining about playing in there own home and garden. I do not let my kids wander the streets and I do supervise them I try and encourage my son to keep up the drum practise as he has been put off by the complaints. I also like my kids to play on the trampoline as I think it is good exercise if you would prefer I will send them to play near your house!


I do get it, there are kids at the end of my garden with a trampoline, when I sit in my lounge or my garden all I hear from them is screaming and the constant squeak squeak squeak from the springs. If its not them its the teenager with the basket ball going thump thump thump, even when we cant here it we can feel the thumping. There's a gang of kids that play football around the area all competing to see who can shout the loudest or kick the ball against the fence or wall the hardest. There's a park 2 minutes walk away, why don't the parents send them there? Why don't parents control their children instead of forcing them on other people. I realise you may have a over zealous complainer but if your kids are making noise do something about it.
#32
dr_aj;5348162
I do get it, there are kids at the end of my garden with a trampoline, when I sit in my lounge or my garden all I hear from them is screaming and the constant squeak squeak squeak from the springs. If its not them its the teenager with the basket ball going thump thump thump, even when we cant here it we can feel the thumping. There's a gang of kids that play football around the area all competing to see who can shout the loudest or kick the ball against the fence or wall the hardest. There's a park 2 minutes walk away, why don't the parents send them there? Why don't parents control their children instead of forcing them on other people. I realise you may have a over zealous complainer but if your kids are making noise do something about it.


Victor,

So why move into an area that is obviously a family one if you hate kids having fun?
Maybe a nice sedate retirement complex would be more your cup of tea, where you can play cribbage and gin rummy in peace.
#33
It doesn't sound to me like you are doing anything wrong.

You seem to be taking into account people's feelings by restricting your sons playing to certain hours of the day. Personally I played the cello for many years and expecting a musician to limit their practise time to 20 mins is a bit overly restrictive if you ask me.

Tell her how you are bending over backwards to accommodate her concerns. Show her that you are concerned for your feelings and she may soften towards you.

I don't think kids should be limited from having fun on their own land. It's not like they're up carousing all hours of the night or you are neglecting them or anything.

If you live in a built up area I can understand if people complain if you have a cockerel. We used to have a neighbour in Florida who had maybe 30 hens and two cockerels and the noise was tremendous even though they lived maybe 100 feet away.

If she comes round again, invite her in, offer her a cup of tea and listen to all her misgivings without comment except to reassure her. Sometimes people just need to be HEARD.

She obviously enjoys complaining ( some people have nothing better to do with their lives ) so consider sound proofing the garage or any other attemps you can make to limit the noise pollution.
#34
dr_aj
I do get it, there are kids at the end of my garden with a trampoline, when I sit in my lounge or my garden all I hear from them is screaming and the constant squeak squeak squeak from the springs. If its not them its the teenager with the basket ball going thump thump thump, even when we cant here it we can feel the thumping. There's a gang of kids that play football around the area all competing to see who can shout the loudest or kick the ball against the fence or wall the hardest. There's a park 2 minutes walk away, why don't the parents send them there? Why don't parents control their children instead of forcing them on other people. I realise you may have a over zealous complainer but if your kids are making noise do something about it.


a) kids have a right to play on their own land as well as parks and other public areas.

b) ball use and trampoling teaches them grand and fine motor skills

c) If they aren't trying to play on your land or harass you in any way then they aren't being "forced" on you.

It's fine for them to make a noise during social areas of the day. That's kids for you.

We have plenty right next to us too. I close the windows ( even when its hot ) when I can't stand the noise any longer because they aren't doing anything that isn't normal for kids to do.
#35
i have to say if you are already having problems with the neighbours then why the hell would you deliberatly go out and get chickens as well which are extremely annoying even though they are not that loud

seems like you are bringing the trouble to yourself bringing home chickens when you know they will complain, talk about closing the door after the horse has bolted

what you gonna get next......?
#36
wait until she goes to sleep then fly through her door with a claw hammer,doubt she will complain again.
#37
i love these threads , the way everyone jumps to the defence of the OP

if it were the other way around and the neighbor with the problem came on here and complained about a kid playing the drums and chickens just been brought into the garden and generall noise etc then you would all back the neighbor up

there is a name for this behaviour but cant remember what it is
#38
casparwhite
i love these threads , the way everyone jumps to the defence of the OP

if it were the other way around and the neighbor with the problem came on here and complained about a kid playing the drums and chickens just been brought into the garden and generall noise etc then you would all back the neighbor up

there is a name for this behaviour but cant remember what it is


It's called emotional support lol
#39
I've had a next-door neighbour with a trampoline and one quite a few houses down with a drumkit. It was incredibly annoying when the drumming started - had to close the windows and turn the TV up to drown it out. Luckily the kid has grown out of using the trampoline & the drummer has moved away.

Is it so wrong for people to value their privacy & peace and quiet?
#40
One of my neigbours at my last house had a drum kit and they are very loud! The sound travels very well so you may not be aware just how many people can hear them. I got a kit for christmas and the first thing i did was stick a pillow in the floor tom and buy some practice pads. It dosn't kill the sound but will dampen it considerable. For the sake of £20 its the least you can do if it will help.

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