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Advice Wanted

kelly_o_fanatic Avatar
7y, 5m agoPosted 7 years, 5 months ago
Ok, so we get on really well with our neighbours and have done the 10 years we have been here. However their 9yr old boy is a TOTAL brat. The way he speaks to/treats his parents is disgusting and he gets away with murder. As far as we are concerned though, thats none of our business.

About a week ago I started driving down the road and could hear a rattling noise. I realised that there was a rather large broken pebble sitting on my window wiper. I stopped the car and got it off, and it started raining about 10 seconds later, meaning that I could of used the wipers without knowing and scratched my window.

I was pretty sure that this had something to do with the boy next door and/or his gang of friends who have started hanging out outside our house. However I didnt actually blame him and thought there could be some innocent explanation.

Just seen him and 1 of his friends now playing outside. He was by our gate (and my car!) and his friend was across the road hiding behind a van and they were throwing these rocks/pebbles at each other. They were even bouncing off the van. It stopped as I was about to go out and ask what they were doing

This is obviously how the pebble ended up on my windowscreen, and why we have them on the grass verge outside our house and in our driveway.

My question is, how do I stop this happening without falling out with the neighbours.

Any advice would be appreciated, sorry its such a long post
kelly_o_fanatic Avatar
7y, 5m agoPosted 7 years, 5 months ago
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#1
be very careful how you handle it. I speak from experience from living on a big estate many moons ago and saw the issues these sort of matters can cause. You will get people saying "i wouldnt stand for it" and "dont be scared to do such and such" and do this and do that. Take it from me unless you need to get involved just leave it. You have no proof and things could escalate. Just play it by ear, and if you feel compeled to do something at a later date then so be it.
#2
stiffnuts
be very careful how you handle it. I speak from experience from living on a big estate many moons ago and saw the issues these sort of matters can cause. You will get people saying "i wouldnt stand for it" and "dont be scared to do such and such" and do this and do that. Take it from me unless you need to get involved just leave it. You have no proof and things could escalate. Just play it by ear, and if you feel compeled to do something at a later date then so be it.


+1000000

Unless you're willing to endure backlash and prepared to 'go the distance', it really isn't worth it.
banned 1 Like #3
throw some stones at him and explain that that's how the car feels
#4
I normally keep my mouth shut thinking its nothing to do with me, but I am just worried about the cars being damaged, its too late to mention it once they have been scratched because I wont be able to prove how the scratch has happened and it will be "Well why didnt you mention it before if you knew about it"
[mod]#5
Tricky.........maybe try having a quiet word with his mum/dad. If they are decent people they will understand. :)

It's annoying as hell...............but.............we all did the same when we were kids. lol
#6
bykergrove
throw some stones at him and explain that that's how the car feels


+1 :-D
#7
His parents are good, but he is in total control in the house. He is 9 but for the last few years what he says goes. His dad was in a car accident (other drivers fault) and the car was a total mess. Has had to get a cheap secondhand car. The 9yr old wont let him park it up the drive so nobody knows its theirs and if he has to go in it (usually gets his mum to drive) he ducks so nobody will see him. Said to someone about a week ago"Dont even look at that excuse for a car, its totally disgusting, I wouldnt be seen dead in it" when they were at the house.
[mod]#8
kelly_o_fanatic;5845310
His parents are good, but he is in total control in the house.


Now there's a contradiction.............his parents are bloody uselsess. lol
#9
Syzable
Now there's a contradiction.............his parents are bloody uselsess. lol


Good people, not good parents!
[mod]#10
kelly_o_fanatic;5845338
Good people, not good parents!


Oh! Still.........sounds like someone needs to give them some hometruths
1 Like #11
This is a tricky one, as more than one neighbour dispute has started over this kind of thing.

Do you have a better relationship with one of the parents (Mum perhaps), maybe you could have a chat in a 'kids eh' kind of way and bring up the stone throwing and that your not trying to get their son in any kind of trouble but that you are concerned for your car.

Its really hard to try and do this without emotions getting involved (most parents nowadays will defend their child even if they are in the wrong).

How about bringing it up in conversation about a group of kids stone throwing (without mentioning their child) and ask if they have experienced any of this kind of behaviour, as in a neighbourly concern kind of thing and perhaps you could both keep an eye out for each others cars against more of this happening. You might want to 'recruit' the neighbours child to help and ask if he see's anything could he let you both know (informing him that you know about the stone throwing without actually telling on him).

As others have said though, its things like this that can cause 'all out war' between former friendly neighbours, so tread very carefully if you do decide to do anything about it.
#12
I had a similar problem and I got over it by talking to the parents, I explained what was happening and they said " It was what boys did..." I just told them that I would tell him off at any time I saw he damaging any of my property and that they should not take it personal as they can not always know what he was up to.... they agreed. I then told the brat what I thought of him and every time I saw him, eventually except for the occasional remark under his breath that was it... As others have said play it by ear but this approach did work because I was not asking the parents to do anything and I get the feeling they actually didnt mind....
#13
KazzyD
This is a tricky one, as more than one neighbour dispute has started over this kind of thing.

Do you have a better relationship with one of the parents (Mum perhaps), maybe you could have a chat in a 'kids eh' kind of way and bring up the stone throwing and that your not trying to get their son in any kind of trouble but that you are concerned for your car.

Its really hard to try and do this without emotions getting involved (most parents nowadays will defend their child even if they are in the wrong).

How about bringing it up in conversation about a group of kids stone throwing (without mentioning their child) and ask if they have experienced any of this kind of behaviour, as in a neighbourly concern kind of thing and perhaps you could both keep an eye out for each others cars against more of this happening. You might want to 'recruit' the neighbours child to help and ask if he see's anything could he let you both know (informing him that you know about the stone throwing without actually telling on him).

As others have said though, its things like this that can cause 'all out war' between former friendly neighbours, so tread very carefully if you do decide to do anything about it.


That sounds like a good idea.

If I said anything to him he would deny it. He was throwing water bombs at our other neighbours house last week and the neighbour asked him to stop because the kids were in bed. He denied he was doing it, even though he was the only person around. I saw him in our garden a while ago and went out and told him not to climb into our garden again (worried incase he gets hurt or something on our property) and he said he hadnt been in our garden, even though I had just seen him!
#14
kids will be kids!,can remember doing allsorts of very illegal and mischevious stuff when i was ickle:)

if all else fails build a high fence around all your property:thumbsup:

http://images.asia.ru/img/alibaba/photo/50483839/Razor_Wire.jpg
#15
just to add/

when the kid starts calling you smelly kelly,thats when i'd either have a quiet word with his parents or take a shower:thumbsup::thumbsup::-D
#16
transit
just to add/

when the kid starts calling you smelly kelly,thats when i'd either have a quiet word with his parents or take a shower:thumbsup::thumbsup::-D


Lol, my name isnt kelly - Kelly Osbourne Fanatic

I do understand that kids will be kids, and we havent said anything before, regularly throw the balls back over etc (even won them some mars balls!) but I draw the line at damage to my car.
[mod]#17
kelly_o_fanatic;5847052
Lol, my name isnt kelly - Kelly Osbourne Fanatic

I do understand that kids will be kids, and we havent said anything before, regularly throw the balls back over etc (even won them some mars balls!) but I draw the line at damage to my car.


How about :

Unruly Julie
Tell me the rules.........Jules
No crown jewels.........Jules etc etc

:giggle: ;-) x
#18
I'd lay in wait with an air gun and when they throw a stone, shoot the one its being throw at , then they get the blame and all their perants fall out :thumbsup:

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