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An article i have written, please give your opinions

jizzm Avatar
banned8y, 1m agoPosted 8 years, 1 month ago
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jizzm Avatar
banned8y, 1m agoPosted 8 years, 1 month ago
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#1
1 Like #2
nd the fact that a lot of foreigners have been coming over from different countries for quite a long time now, (Polish, Indians etc) and how they are taking the job vacancies off the working class English people and how they send the money back out of England

after the second world war, England needed Indians/Pakistanis and other races to help re-build the country.

Bit out of order saying there taking money of the "English people" after they helped rebuild your country after the war.

didnt bother read after that.
banned#3
black gerbil1
after the second world war, England needed Indians/Pakistanis and other races to help re-build the country.

Bit out of order saying there taking money of the "English people" after they helped rebuild your country after the war.


I had a feeling this would get a bit of stick, but at the end of the day if i am hearing the information from someone, who has heard this coming from their mouth, this is what we do. We work in basic lifestyles, and ship the money back..
Im just putting it to paper.
#4
So the final value that the UK is losing each year per foreigner sending £12,000 back is £18,000,000,000.


You need to rectify this as it is only an assumption. You are assuming that every foreigner would send money back to relatives in his home country.

Also, what about the money a lot of people send abroad to relatives for birthdays, Christmas and the likes?
banned#5
Predikuesi
You need to rectify this as it is only an assumption. You are assuming that every foreigner would send money back to relatives in his home country.

Also, what about the money a lot of people send abroad to relatives for birthdays, Christmas and the likes?


obviously this is only an assumption.
But.. this is still a big issue in the UK economy, as the Poles and east europeans are not feeling this crisis at the moment, as they have it sorted.
#6
Predikuesi
You need to rectify this as it is only an assumption. You are assuming that every foreigner would send money back to relatives in his home country.

Also, what about the money a lot of people send abroad to relatives for bithdays, Christmas and the likes?



What about the thousands of English working abroad and sending their money back. Should this not be calculated aswell. I love the way people make the assumption that foreigners only come to take away Jobs. :whistling:
#7
jizzm
obviously this is only an assumption.
But.. this is still a big issue in the UK economy, as the Poles and east europeans are not feeling this crisis at the moment, as they have it sorted.

CRY?
leave the eu?
1 Like #8
if they have earn't the money then it is there's to send back, i think the thing that upsets people is the fact that there are alot of foreigners on benefits who have not paid into the tax system. take the lady on the front of the sun newspaper yesterday. 1.2 million pounds house with 7 children. £170,000 a year benefit & her rent paid for her. that is the thing that will upset people. it makes me laugh when people say no more foreign people in the country as they are taking our jobs & then they'll go out for a meal of indian/chinese! you can always find a job if you look. it might be something which is not ideal like early morning cleaning, but it's a job (not that there is anything wrong with early morning cleaning!) & it will pay your bills & keep a roof over your head.
#9
There is really only a few reasons why our economy is in meltdown:-
1. Greed.
2. Living on the never-never.
3. Selling off national industries to other countries.
banned#10
It is very 'them' and 'us', even though you dont know who your audience is?

From my experience, 'they' tend to do the jobs that 'we' are too proud to do, fruit picking, low paid factory work etc. I think if 'they' were not here, these jobs would be available, but would be left empty.

If 'we' stopped moaning about what jobs we had taken from us instead of improving our skills to ensure 'we' were employed, things would be a lot better. The harsh fact is that a lot of people wont work because they are lazy, or they will only work for £40k a year+, but they have no skills, and want to work 5 days, 9-4!!

I accept that the building game is slightly different tdue the large number of migrant works, who are fairly skilled, that are prepared to work for less than skilled UK workers.

But if you are a good tradesman, you will always find work, thats a fact.
#11
From whatever angle I look at this - content, style, grammar, political stance, viewpoint - it is weak and riddled with errors. I could give some constructive feedback on the first three, but the last two mean that I have no desire to do so. This might sound harsh, but you did ask for it... :)
#12
That article is the worst thing I have read in a while. The actual writing and drafting is appalling, let alone the content.

The argument outlined is unbalanced, unashamedly partisan and reactionary. It provides no insight whatsoever into what is clearly a complex issue.

The UK economy is in melt down due to the reckless investment that the banking system has been making over the last number of years which in turn is based on greed. It is ludicrous to suggest that people who work long hours and make sacrifices (such as not being “house proud”) and who pay tax are in fact compounding the UK's poor economic position

The writer has made no allowance for the fact that some people are not as motivated by the accumulation of objects as he/she is. The sentence criticizing foreigners for not being "house proud" is one of the most ridiculous arguments made

The writer has also failed to account for the fact that we now live in a global economy - which can be seen by the fact that the USA's economic decline has evolved into a global one. It is not only "foreigners" who send money abroad but also big companies, banks and the government. There are plenty of English workers who work abroad and send money back to the UK.

This makes the Daily Mail look like a well thought out & thoroughly researched comment on society
#13
Sorry to add more fire, but it is not a good article.

1) Gammar
The grammar is all over the place, it makes the article hard to read and your repeat yourself where there is no need. eg

his is not right at all, in my opinion no money earned in a country should be transferred out of the country back to their families as this is just not right.

The sentence is "not right"

2) It's just wrong
Saying that the economy is the way it is due to the fact that forgein workers are sending their money home is nonsense. Do you watch the news at all? The economy is the way it is because banks lent more than they should and took risks when they didnt have the money to back it up. Nothing to do with people sending money home

3) Nonsense

Basically it is how they share the houses, up to 7 or 8 people in a typical 3 bedroom house so their cost of living is very very minimal and low compared to the average UK worker. They rotate their sleeping patterns for their work shifts, so when one person is working the other is sleeping.


Everyone English person is entitled to live this way too if they want, get 7 of your friends and move in together in a 3 bedroom house, then set up your work in shift patterns, all for £12k/year. There's nothing stopping you or Michael doing it, so why don't you? Because it would horrible to live like that and work like that for such a low wage. Somebody has to do it though, so they are merely filling a gap, because the english worker would rather sit at home and claim benefits (please note I do not apply to this mother's as I think mother's who stay at home to look after children are doing a great job).

I suggest you first take a creative writing course, then secondly think your articles through a little more.

Please take all I have said as constructive criticism
#14
You say that "they are taking all the jobs from the people who were originally born in this country". Is there anyone stopping the British applying for the jobs? NO! It's just that employers prefer to employ foreigners to pay lower salaries. So yes, Brits loose low-paid jobs, but the employers have lower overhead costs, which helps the economy a great deal (something you don't mention at all). If not the cheap labour, a lot of companies would have had to be closed by now.

Also don't think of the money leaving the country as the physical money somehow disappearing from the UK soil. Pounds are useless overseas unless exchanged for local currencies. So think of foreigners using the hard earned British pounds for making a purchase of other currency - similar to buying a foreign TV or car.

Finally, the £18,000,000,000 figure that you quote is way exaggerated to start with, but also makes up under 0.7% of the UK's Gross National Income. That's hardly the biggest problem of our economy at the moment.
1 Like #15
black gerbil1
after the second world war, England needed Indians/Pakistanis and other races to help re-build the country.

Bit out of order saying there taking money of the "English people" after they helped rebuild your country after the war.

didnt bother read after that.


jizzm
People say the foreigners do work hard, as they work 37.5-50 hours per week but they are taking all the jobs from the people who were originally born in this country. We are not faulting this but i am saying that should this be allowed to happen?


Agree with BG, disagree with you. A lot of the jobs they had were self employed e.g. newsagents. Can't blame the foreigners for getting jobs, they only had a chance because some of the "English people" were too lazy.

Furthermore those foreigners should be respected since they actually went out and worked, they might not of always had the legal requirements granted, but nevertheless they still worked and they worked hard. So you try to first to have a dig at them for working and then on top of that you try to have a dig at them for sending money back to their families.
Let's say that your family was below the poverty line and you had a chance to work in a country where the money you earn would have a large effect back where you came from. Would you rather stay living with your family and watch them suffer, or would you obtain the money to go and work abroad and then be able to send money back to your family in order to help them out?


jizzm
]As they are constantly earning their money by working and only buying the basic essentials, they are living a very basic lifestyle, as their wages are not going into the retail sector just back to their home country.........
As all they need is the rare-basic essentials that they can just squander upon


These people work long hours as you've already mentioned and they get paid pennies, they hardly have the privilege to buy luxuries even if they weren't sending money out of the UK.
How can you squander on basic essentials??? Essentials are something a person needs to something a person squanders on.

Your figures are wrong. Let's say you're right, that they are earning 12,000 and spending 9,000 per annum on minimal living expenses, thus leaving them with 3,000. Do you really think this person who is scraping and scrounging for any penny they can get their hands on will waste this 3,000 on things they don't need?
If anything they will save this in their bank account. However realistically, a person earning 12,000 a year wouldn't really have 3,000 spare.

Your 2 main flaws are...
Do you really think that if all the foreign workers spent their salary here in the uk that it would honestly make a difference to the economy? It might make a slight improvement but it wouldn't be huge.

As I've already said, even if the foreign workers were not sending money back home then they would not be spending it on...
decorating their houses, buying kitchen appliances, garden equipment etc

Have you ever heard of DIY? These people survive on DIY, when they have water problems do even think in the slightest that they can afford to have a plumber come around? No chance, they have to learn to do it themselves.

Not having a go, just saying it as I see it :thumbsup:
It's a highly poor argument with a ton of flaws, even if you fixed it all up then it would still be poor since the whole "foreigners sending money abroad is ruining our economy" argument hardly has any substantial grounding nor is it even worth mentioning.

Think about how much UK citizens spend abroad on holiday? My bet would be that it's higher then the foreigners send back to their home countries. Using your logic I could say that since we spend too much abroad we are ruining our economy... Just a thought for you ponder :).
#16
Just did a quick google on "UK expat" seems to me that you could just change the country in your article to almost any other, then change the word Polish to British and it would still read true.
#17
the polish workers are positive because no one was willing to work as hard or do the jobs they do. they help dvelop some thing.
no one take jobs off one another.
banned#18
strike
the polish workers are positive because no one was willing to work as hard or do the jobs they do. they help dvelop some thing.
no one take jobs off one another.


http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/uknews/1580544/\Nine-in-10-UK-jobs-go-to-foreigners\.html

Would we go to poland and be 9 out of 10 jobs there?
i think not.
#19
It's not a one way system, have you never seen Auf Wiedersehen Pet.

What about the money these migrant worker spend on travel, food and sundries. They would have to be putting money into the economy as you cannot live on air alone. And as long as they are working legally they would be paying via tax to their wages. In fact with people living longer some say we may need an extra 10 million migrant workers to shore up the basic state pension shortfall by 2025.
banned#20
But anyway, thanks for the comments, some i felt were null and quite rude. But others are something to think of.
At the end of the day this is my first post like this and i have to work on some things.
banned 1 Like #21
One other thing before an admin can lock.

All these tv ad's saying help other countries?
Should we not be helping our own country first? And sorting out the issues in this country?
#22
jizzm
One other thing before an admin can lock.

All these tv ad's saying help other countries?
Should we not be helping our own country first? And sorting out the issues in this country?


I agree with that :-D;-)
banned#23
King of Thieves
I agree with that :-D;-)


Finally something people agree on lol!
I know this isnt the best article in the world, i know some of the issues raised have caused people to think.
But.. dont flame me, i am only learning, i do not usually do posts like this, as you can see from my blog, this is something very different.
#24
but our country does not hve litererally starving children, not a very good comparison :roll:
#25
you want constructive criticism?
1. Give up writing until you have mastered rudimentary English.
2. If you want to remain in one piece in the coming years get out, mix with some real people of all nationalities and lose the bigoted and woefully mistaken views
#26
My review:

The article contains a partially true point but this has been taken out of context and used to support an argument that the economy is in a poor state because of that, which is totally incorrect.

With ANY country that has foreign workers, the number of foreign workers has to be monitored carefully as money is essentially 'lost' to the economy if it is sent abroad. There are numerous other countries with Americans/British workers that send money home while only paying out what they need to in the country they are working in. This is fine with relatively small numbers, but when the number of workers gets too high, the money 'lost' becomes an issue because with a domestic worker, they would pump that money back in to the countries economy which begins the cycle again.

It is a sad state that a lot of 'working class' citizens in this country believe there are so many jobs that are beneath them and that they should be paid far more than they're qualified to earn. They then run up massive debts borrowed against how much they THINK they should earn. They then 'can't get a job despite being a tradesman' etc because they want far too much for doing something that someone else (e.g. the foreign worker) is prepared to do it for. And their lower living costs are through not having unnecessary luxuries like big TVs and SKY. So they won't work and sit on benefits complaining because someone else is prepared to do the work for price closer to its true value.

The current financial crisis will continue with these lazy and arrogant people about to get a rude awakening.
#27
jizzm
Finally something people agree on lol!
I know this isnt the best article in the world, i know some of the issues raised have caused people to think.
But.. dont flame me, i am only learning, i do not usually do posts like this, as you can see from my blog, this is something very different.


It's good to see you thinking and using literacy as a learning tool. :thumbsup: A bit of friendly advice from someone who's been through some of the same hoops though. When you are listening to your course lecturers, keep your ear tuned to tone and attitude rather than the boring facts they'll throw your way. It's one way of unlearning some of the received opinions we pick up from less reputable sources. Imo, success at uni can be measured as much by the amount of baggage we discard as the subject knowledge we 'learn'. Good luck with studies and blog :thumbsup:
#28
Liddle ol' me;3156404
... advice from someone who's been through some of the same hoops through....


Never a good idea to criticise someone else's grammar, when you don't read your post before pressing submit! :whistling:
#29
You forgot to mention the 100's of thousands of Brits who have bought land and assets in these so called foreigners lands.
#30
suchafunkymonkey
Never a good idea to criticise someone else's grammar, when you don't read your post before pressing submit! :whistling:


a mere letter, my friend :-D
#31
My constructive criticism is to never again write an article only based on 'assumptions' and 'information from someone'.
#32
Reading your 'article' reminded me of some apt Faith No More lyrics:

"No one speaks English anymore
Would anybody tell me if I was getting stupider?"
#33
this is the way i look at it:
why might foreign people send money back to their home countries?
to maybe help their families out and seeing as they have work hard to earn and lived on "basics" it they should have every right to do whatever they like with it
as for "they are taking all our jobs"...who gives the jobs to them in the first place? the "english people" and why?because of the blatant fact that they would work harder for less money. all comes down to the fact that in my opinion foreigners are the harder working people.BUT that is my opinion
#34
I lol'd hard at the supposed piece of journalism. I really can't see why you would even think it was ready for public consumption. One of the best examples of making up statistics on the spot I have seen for a long time. You are the weakest link, goodbye.
I'm actually very close to spamming this for self promo, and to save you further embarrassment.
#35
MoneySavingG
I lol'd hard at the supposed piece of journalism. I really can't see why you would even think it was ready for public consumption. One of the best examples of making up statistics on the spot I have seen for a long time. You are the weakest link, goodbye.
I'm actually very close to spamming this for self promo, and to save you further embarrassment.


looks like he has spammed himself:thumbsup:lol'd even harder
banned#36
Ive spammed it and expired, because i love how people talk about people online.
I wish i'd never posted on this forum, as now it is full of people who are just after a rant.
When at the end of the day you may mock how ive written it or whatever, but i've probably got more potential to achieve a good job than most of you people on here.
So have fun flaming :)

Oh and mods please lock.
[admin]#37
Can I just make a point please Jizzm?

Last week, you posted a link to this blog and I removed it, instructing you not to publish links to your blog without prior permission from Hotukdeals Admin.

You weren't given permission, yet you've gone ahead and promoted your work anyway.

This is totally unacceptable.

Thread Locked. Suspension issued.

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