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Anyone who has had babies in the past few months-bedroom check

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Hiya, I had a baby 2 weeks ago and the health visitor has said she's going to do a bedroom check. I've already got a 3 year old, and never had one with him and just wondered if this was normal. I'm… Read More
midjet666 Avatar
7y, 7m agoPosted 7 years, 7 months ago
Hiya,
I had a baby 2 weeks ago and the health visitor has said she's going to do a bedroom check. I've already got a 3 year old, and never had one with him and just wondered if this was normal.
I'm one of those who thinks "if you've got nothing to hide then you needn't worry" but I feel really insulted the way she spoke to me. She's the same health visitor as I had with my son, and I've never really got on with her and I feel really uncomfortable about it.

I just worry that she's going to be really picky and say this isn't right etc etc and then report me to social services.
I mean I'm probably being stupid but I really think she doesn't like me and I worry that her feelings may influence her work. Also, she rings and asks to visit in the next 10 mins, and she turned up out the blue the once to see my son (we had swine flu so although I invited her in she obviously scarpered lol). I mean every time she rings and asks to come, I always say yes, and I've never been involved with social services (nor my family).

My son's a healthy 3 year old and is thriving, he was born 5 weeks premature and was 5lb but is now huge (not fat!!) he's in 5-6 year clothes. He's got brilliant speech, he knows so much stuff, a lot more than the average 3 year old, he's loved so much and I am getting so worked up that she'll say something and I'll lose my kids.

Can someone please tell me if the bedroom checks are normal, and hopefully put my mind at rest. Also, is it normal for them just to phone up and turn up in less than an hour? Like I said, I've never been involved with social services, never had any reason for them to doubt my parenting, I mean I don't even smoke or drink!! lol.
Thanks in advance for any help x x x
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midjet666 Avatar
7y, 7m agoPosted 7 years, 7 months ago
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#1
Do you think you are over reacting slightly?
#2
Your getting all worked up for nothing.
Shes proberbly gonna do things like check baby matress is safe.
cots safe etc.
Does the HV think your depressed or anything. She might be trying to help
#3
ive never had kids but they need proof of anything bad happening b4 they can take ur children dnt worry hun im sure it will b fine
#4
never had a bedroom check...although i can remember reading something in a paper about one of the women falling over a pram and trying to get cash out of them...will find it
#5
I think it's normal and she is probably 'following the book' as some people in social services seem to. As you stated, if you've got nothing to hide then you don't need to worry but if your interaction with this particular health visitor is upsetting or unneccesarily worrying you then speak to your health centre as i'm sure they can probably arrange for a different person to come up.
Above all, don't let it worry you as there it's lots more in life to worry about and your boy wouldn't want to see you upset or anxious. Enjoy every second you have with him.
#6
I wouldn't be happy with personal space invasion, but if that's what they have to do then so be it. if you know everything is in order then why work yourself up with it ? if you feel there is a clash of personalities with your health visitor then phone up and ask for a different one. She is only going to be in your life for a matter of minutes so don't worry about her too much , congratulations on your baby ...he is the one you should be focusing all your attention on xxx
#7
never heard of this i have 4 kids youngest 4 months so a bit strange to me
i would tell them to stop being nosey how cheeky
#8
maybe its a new thing!
never had it when i had my 2yr old,if i was u i would ask 4 a different HV my mate did and she is now happy with the one she has

i wouldnt think it would be anything to worry about x
banned#9
dawny
never heard of this i have 4 kids youngest 4 months so a bit strange to me
i would tell them to stop being nosey how cheeky

yeah and I bet you'll be the first blathering on and on next time there is a baby p style case won't you?

"They told us to stop being nosey so we let them get on with it"
#10
I've never heard of a bedroom check but please don't worry about anything drastic happening. The best thing you can do is ask for a different health visitor. I'm sure it won't be a problem as it is common for people to request a new gp, consultant etc. Personally I would tell them the truth and say that she makes you feel uncomfortable and you feel there is a personality clash. Good luck.
#11
I wouldnt worry about it, they should make an appointment with you not ring an hour before hand or turn up out of the blue, thats totally unprofessional and not right ! and as for a bedroom check, ive never heard of such thing. U could report her and ask for another health visitor as u feel you dont have a rappor with her (your totally within your right to ask for another health visitor) and dont worry what she thinks as its her who sounds has got the attitude problem
#12
if you dont like her and you feel she doesnt like you, then ring and ask for a different one. my HV didnt do anything like that. think we only saw her about 4 times from birth to about 8 weeks. might be different policies in different areas though. dont worry too much though. once she has seen everything is fine then there is only a few more weeks till you dont have to see any HVs.
#13
Hi - my youngest son is 9 weeks old today. I've never had a bedroom check with any of my kids, but it might be the policy of the area where you live, I'm sure there's nothing to worry about. I would ask her to make her appointments in advance - it seems a bit unreasonable to me to call and turn up 30 mins later.
banned 1 Like #14
Anyone who has had babies in the past few months-bedroom check?

That is the question.

If you haven't then move along!
#15
I had a baby in June, I personally wouldn't be happy about this at all, I have three children but even with my first I wouldn't have consented to this at all. For a start there should be no suggestion of this health visitor would report you to social services as she would need to have considerable concerns to do so.
As long as you know that your baby always sleeps feet to foot, right at the bottom of the cot, blankets appropriate to the temperature, bed clothes also, buy a room thermometer and never let your baby sleep with you under any circumstances, be careful when feeding especially if you are tired and never sleep with your baby on the couch. These are the things you do to ensure your baby's safety and that's it!!

I would speak to the HV and say you're not happy and you feel this is intrusive and you want to know why this is necessary. I'll be perfectly honest in that I don't really see the point of HV's, they just worried me to the point of even more sleeplessness and made me really paranoid, so much so I couldn't enjoy my time with my baby boy.
Now I use common sense and chose what suits me.

I would expect more notice, my HV would ring a few days prior to visiting to check that it was okay. please contact her and talk to her about the visits, you're obviously an experienced mum especially if you had a prem baby and he's a thriving 3 year old!!!

Please don't worry, you know what you're about so please be firm and stick to your guns, how will the HV know where she's going wrong if you don't tell her!!

Good luck and please don't worry!
#16
I have 3 kids, none of them have ever asked to see my bedroom, my Health Visitor is brilliant tho, when they were small and they were getting their weights checked she'd always come to me first thing in the morning before she went to work to save me trailing down to the health centre.

With all 3 of my kids apart from the first few months where there weight gets checked the only times i've seen my health visitor is for their jags or their progress assessment things, she just leaves us alone, she knows that i'll phone her if we have a problem, if you feel that your health visitor is over stepping her mark then have a word with your practice manager, it could also be that she's pushed for time and doesn't think you'll mind her giving you 10 minutes notice.

My health visitor also told me up front that they now have to inform social services of anything that they find suspicious or anything that you might have said about coping etc.
#17
They have to give little notice so you don't suddenly run round correcting everything. I think this is a good thing, that they are checking that babies are safe in bedrooms.
#18
peodude
They have to give little notice so you don't suddenly run round correcting everything. I think this is a good thing, that they are checking that babies are safe in bedrooms.


So they are there to check on the health, and welfare of babies?
So what's all this fuss about?
#19
thesaint
So they are there to check on the health, and welfare of babies?
So what's all this fuss about?


I have 3 kids, everyday of the week my house is covered in toys/piles of washing etc.

I like to know when people are coming so that I can clear the things out the way so that it at least looks like we have a living room to ourselves.
#20
thesaint
So they are there to check on the health, and welfare of babies?
So what's all this fuss about?


Exactly. Let them in, see everything is fine and then they leave again. What's wrong with that?
#21
6 visits is max up to 1 month(childs age) then 1 visit at 6 months old and thats it
#22
raptorcigs
6 visits is max up to 1 month(childs age) then 1 visit at 6 months old and thats it


My sisters baby is 8 months now and her health visitor is there at least once a month.

I dunno how she could be bothered with it, I'd tell her to foof.

I did have a midwife once say tho that they tend to find its the older Mum's who they visit the most as the younger ones take it in their stride more.
#23
AshleyRFC
I have 3 kids, everyday of the week my house is covered in toys/piles of washing etc.

I like to know when people are coming so that I can clear the things out the way so that it at least looks like we have a living room to ourselves.


isn't any normal house with kids and family covered in toys, washing etc i think it's a very odd house where everything is put away in its place....but yes we still like to tidy up and make it a show home when someone" official " visits
#24
i had a baby two weeks ago and no ones mentioned this check, my h v knows the babies in my bed too .... u can ask to change ur hv if u want to...
1 Like #25
rappy xxxxxxx...long time no see how are you sweetie ??
#26
joharni
i had a baby two weeks ago and no ones mentioned this check, my h v knows the babies in my bed too .... u can ask to change ur hv if u want to...


I'm surprised your health visitor hasn't encouraged you to put your baby in a moses basket.
suspended#27
Well with my 2 they have never said anything about checking the room at all. Please dont take this in the wrong way as you have just had a baby but could your house look untidy? i know what its like after you have had a baby its hard to keep up tie house chores x

Maybe she is just double checking but you can always ask to have another hv x
#28
AshleyRFC
I have 3 kids, everyday of the week my house is covered in toys/piles of washing etc.

I like to know when people are coming so that I can clear the things out the way so that it at least looks like we have a living room to ourselves.


So you want to deceive the health visitor to how you live?

Maybe that's what they want to see?
#29
bedroom check??

you mean she wants to see the child's bedroom?
#30
thesaint
So you want to deceive the health visitor to how you live?

Maybe that's what they want to see?


No because she's came in when clothes etc have been everywhere but that doesn't mean that you dont feel uncomfortable when someone visits and everything is everywhere.
#31
Tinkytayls
Well with my 2 they have never said anything about checking the room at all. Please dont take this in the wrong way as you have just had a baby but could your house look untidy? i know what its like after you have had a baby its hard to keep up tie house chores x

Maybe she is just double checking but you can always ask to have another hv x


is it a rule that your house has to be tidy then? i dont see what that has to do with being able to look after a baby :?

ive never heard of a 'room' check, never had spontaneous visits frm HV, and never felt i had to hide washing/ironing or do special clear ups, but my youngest is 9
#32
joharni
i had a baby two weeks ago and no ones mentioned this check, my h v knows the babies in my bed too .... u can ask to change ur hv if u want to...


Bed or bedroom? It isn't safe to sleep in the same bed.
#33
Goonieman
Bed or bedroom? It isn't safe to sleep in the same bed.


When my babies wake in the night, I take them in bed with me to breastfeed x

It's intimate.

The guidance is not to bedshare if you've taken drugs/alcohol, but for responsible parents ... sharing a bed is a loving experience.
#34
AshleyRFC
No because she's came in when clothes etc have been everywhere but that doesn't mean that you dont feel uncomfortable when someone visits and everything is everywhere.


How many houses do you think that the H.V has seen in her life. She can spot normal mess and clutter.

She is there to check on the Health and welfare of the baby, not see if you have washed up your dishes before she has arrived.
#35
nikkib123
It is!

If you are breastfeeding on demand and choose to have the baby in bed with you (co-sleeping)then as long as you have taken the correct safety precautions then it is fine.


absolutely.

Theres a difference here in what breastfeeding Mums experience and bottlefeeding...

When my babies awoke all I needed to do was pick them up, bring them in bed and let them suckle back to sleep...

it's the nicest feeling in the world.
suspended#36
loupomm
is it a rule that your house has to be tidy then? i dont see what that has to do with being able to look after a baby :?

ive never heard of a 'room' check, never had spontaneous visits frm HV, and never felt i had to hide washing/ironing or do special clear ups, but my youngest is 9


you know thats not what i ment :roll:

I was just asking as the hv may just wana check the room is safe and clean
#37
thesaint
How many houses do you think that the H.V has seen in her life. She can spot normal mess and clutter.

She is there to check on the Health and welfare of the baby, not see if you have washed up your dishes before she has arrived.


Why are you arguing with me over this, I said that I like to know when people are coming because I like to make the place look respectable, why is that such a bad thing?

I didnt say that she was there to see if her house was untidy as thats not an issue, all I said was that I like more than 10 minutes notice that someone is popping in.
#38
ClarityofMind
When my babies wake in the night, I take them in bed with me to breastfeed x

It's intimate.

The guidance is not to bedshare if you've taken drugs/alcohol, but for responsible parents ... sharing a bed is a loving experience.


The guidance we were given was to not fall asleep with the baby in bed with you. Our daughter comes in with us for snuggles in the morning. My wife breastfed and as soon as she was down again she went back to the moses basket. Makes sense really.
#39
Goonieman
The guidance we were given was to not fall asleep with the baby in bed with you. Our daughter comes in with us for snuggles in the morning. My wife breastfed and as soon as she was down again she went back to the moses basket. Makes sense really.


I think some rules are made up as they go along, we were told not to have the baby in the bed with us but others aren't told the same thing, I was also told not to eat peanuts or soft running eggs whilst pregnant whereas my sister in Dundee wasn't told the same thing.

I think everywhere has different practices.
suspended#40
Goonieman
The guidance we were given was to not fall asleep with the baby in bed with you. Our daughter comes in with us for snuggles in the morning. My wife breastfed and as soon as she was down again she went back to the moses basket. Makes sense really.


just what i was told .... it is frowned on but hvs and midwives

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