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Are they all this mad?!

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6y, 6m agoPosted 6 years, 6 months ago
Just read this article on msn titled "53 secrets girls don't want guys to know" and couldn't believe the answers - most of these answers must be rubbish or are all women really this pyscho!!!:

Ask us what women are thinking, and we can trot out any number of things. Dont knock babbling, its a sign that we fancy you, for example. Or: Give us stubble burn once and we may never kiss you again.

But those are the things that we wish men knew. The really telling thoughts are the ones that we dont want men to know. Especially the men that were sleeping with or wish we were sleeping with.

Deep in this innermost vault of secrecy lie our feelings about our exes, your exes, our bodies, your bodies... and our feelings at the end of a date or the start of a relationship. This is top-secret, high-octane stuff. In the wrong hands, it could be extremely dangerous. Read on if you think youre hard enough.

1. When we get whistled at in the street, we feel uncomfortable and well always tut and roll our eyes. But were awesomely flattered and wed be gutted if it stopped.

2. We will never grow out of our fascination with pop stars. A guy can be completely ordinary-looking, but we will fancy him if hes in a band.

3. We are more likely to fancy a guy if his ex-girlfriends are really pretty.

4. We can be put off a guy by finding out that his ex-girlfriends are a bit ugly.

5. When we look through your Facebook photos, were looking to see how pretty or ugly your ex-girlfriends are.

6. We look through your Facebook photos a lot, and we really hope that you havent downloaded anything that reveals who looks at them the most.

7. Heres how to make us fall for you. One day, come on to us so strong that were a bit weirded out by it. Then totally fail to ring us. Well wonder what we did wrong, and we wont be able to stop thinking about you.

8. The above strategy isnt foolproof. We may just lose interest. It depends on how much we liked you in the first place.

9. We often dont know how much we liked you in the first place. We may have to wait until you dont phone us. If were disappointed, it proves that we fancy you. If were not, it proves that we dont. Its like when you toss a coin to help you make a decision.

10. Stop trying to understand how our minds work. Even we dont understand how our minds work.

11. We constantly change our minds and reserve the right to do so.

12. We love getting a missed call from you. It makes us feel in control.

13. The pleasure of noticing a missed call doesnt last long. We never know how soon to ring back, and it does our heads in.

14. We are constantly scared of putting you off by seeming too keen.

15. We are constantly scared of putting you off by not seeming keen enough.

16. We will never discuss this with you because we are constantly scared of putting you off by bringing us up in conversation.

17. Im scared of being hurt means I dont fancy you as much as I thought I did. You know it, we know it, and that is all that will be said on the matter.

18. We say were not manipulative because were really good at being manipulative.

19. We only manipulate your feelings because you manipulated our feelings first.

20. Snoring costs you sex.

21. Your feet disgust us.

22. We shave our toes.

23. Weve got a rogue hair that needs regular plucking.

24. We went through a phase of shaving our moustache.

25. We leave our legs unshaven on a first date so that we wont end up in bed with you.

26. We wear big knickers on a first date so that we wont end up in bed with you.

27. We spend entire first dates fancying the pants off you and worrying that well end up in bed with you, all unshaven legs and big knickers.

28. We dont actually care that much about the loo seat.

29. We suspect that you like our bodies more when were carrying a few extra pounds, but we always feel better about ourselves when we lose weight. However we hate that our boobs look deflated, and were disgusted by the injustice of it.

30. We envy you for being able to eat more than us and not get fat. By envy we mean occasionally hate.

31. If a grown-up woman has light blonde hair, shes bleaching it*. You can tell that a woman is a natural blonde from her mousey eyebrows. (* OK, or shes Scandinavian.)

32. We trim our nose-hair.

33. Yes weve got nice eyes, blah blah. Boring. We are desperate for you to compliment our skin and our necks.

34. We are even more desperate for you to write poems about us.

35. When were at a party we clock the sexy girls far quicker than we clock the sexy guys.

36. We find female strippers sexier than male strippers. But that doesnt mean we want to snog any of them.

37. However we do wish we were gay sometimes, if only to get oral sex from someone who really knows what theyre doing.

38. Size does matter, fellas.

39. What you do with it matters even more.

40. What you do with your tongue matters most of all.

41. Were really scared that youll feel our back zits.

42. During breakouts we get up at 6am and cover our spots with concealer while youre sleeping.

43. We dont want you to stay for breakfast. We want you to leave immediately so that you dont have time to register how dog-rough we look in the morning.

44. We want you to text us from your journey home to say how you cant stop smiling.

45. If you dont text or call within 24 hours well feel so unhappy that no amount of chocolate and wine can cheer us up. Though well give it a try.

46. Wed happily sleep with your best mate to make you jealous.

47. Were scared of commitment too.

48. If youre not very well endowed, your girlfriend wont tell her friends. Shes as embarrassed about it as you are. However if you dump her, shell tell everyone.

49. We fake orgasms so that youll stop and let us go to sleep.

50. We arent always sure when were faking it. In orgasms, the line between fact and fiction can be very thin.

51. We love falling asleep in your arms, for the first few weeks of a relationship anyway. To be honest wed sleep a lot better if you werent there.

52. We find your dark-coloured bedsheets a total turn-off.

53. Were all little girls inside. You make us cry far more easily than you realise.
Redking Avatar
6y, 6m agoPosted 6 years, 6 months ago
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Comments/page:
#1
yes, i think alot of them are...
number 11 is so very very true.
#2
i read that this afternoon,i have to agree with most of them
i really dont agree with 34, i find it cringe worthy if a guy tries to write me a poem, id rather they just say i love u.
and iv never done 42!
banned#3
Did you write that out? Wed we'd we would ahhhh
#4
Grief - I can't find any that sound like me!!
#5
I laughed !

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