Are we over protecting our children? - HotUKDeals
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Are we over protecting our children?

Gaia Avatar
9y, 7m agoPosted 9 years, 7 months ago
I was listening to the TV this morning while rushing about getting ready for work and they were talking about how we are over-protecting our children. Survey results showed parents felt children under 14 should not be left on their own. There was one of the children's charities on saying that children that are given freedom to mix with peers gain important friendships and social skills. Crime figures say that less children go missing in the UK than 30 years ago.

As a parent of two very young kids I am finding it difficult to see what is over protecting and what is giving children some freedom. I let my babies play in our back garden but watch them from the kitchen the entire time because I am paranoid they get stolen. When I think back to my childhood, from about 6-7 years old my friends and I use to race about on our bikes. We built dens, went hunting for frogs, swimming in the sea ... These were most definitely the best days of my life and I look back on these care-free days. I want my kids to be able to do the same thing ... to feel that freedom. Yet I don't know if my over protective clucking will allow it!
Gaia Avatar
9y, 7m agoPosted 9 years, 7 months ago
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#1
I have the very same thoughts Gaja.

I don't have a huge garden and everyone else seems to let their kids play out on the street. I do let my kids play out but they have a very limited radius and I stay out and watch them and invariably end up playing football etc. I do not want them in the house playing on the computer or watching t.v. but at their age they cannot go out alone.

My son (who is 7 next month) tells me I am a mean mum because his friends from school, in his class are allowed out until 9pm and can go where they want - with some of them I know this is true.

I cannot bring myself to do it.
#3
I think so, my Mum is a primary school teacher and the risk assessment for a school trip is way over the top - of course risks should be minimised and there should be a sufficient amount of adult supervision but there has to be a reasonable limit.

[SIZE=2]I'm not a parent but I do remember the days when I would go out with the other children around my age, on bikes, go-karts, roller skates (I remember a high speed set I received for a birthday which caused many grazes and bruises until I managed to get the hang of them!) or anything similar which could be raced or used as transport. There were defined limits as to how far we were allowed to go which increased as we got older. These days I can appreciate parents are in a difficult dilemma as to how much freedom should be allowed, I think it's a real shame for children to have to lose their childhood.[/SIZE]

[SIZE=2]fireheaven - excellent link, that's exactly what came to mind when I read through this topic[/SIZE]


[SIZE=2]John[/SIZE]
#4
I was a little terror when I was young, some would even say I was crazy in my younger days but there is NO WAY I would let my children do today, what I did all those years ago.

I am not over protective of them I just don't allow them to do anything without supervision. But that is the Country and the conditions that we live in today, hopefully things will change in the next year and then they can go wild, and they know it so roll on ******, here we come.
#5
I wouldn't say I was overprotected when I was younger, but it might explain my spam on here :lol:
#6
[SIZE=2]There are no more child abductions today than there were in the past - in fact in the Victorian era it was far more dangerous for kids. The difference today is the papers go wildly over the top on the handful of cases there are, terrifying the crap out of parents.[/SIZE]
[SIZE=2][/SIZE]
[SIZE=2]Someone should do a study comparing the risk to kids of being abducted with stuff like lightning strikes, allergy reactions, car crashes, domestic accidents etc.[/SIZE]
#7
Just seen on Look North (BBC news for NE England) and they were on about this saying 60% of 10 year olds have never been to a shop on their own!
No wonder theres an obesity problem, mothers going to get the lard for their chubsters at home lol.
#8
pet3r
No wonder theres an obesity problem, mothers going to get the lard for their chubsters at home lol.


:giggle: :giggle:
#9
[CENTER]
emasu
I wouldn't say I was overprotected when I was younger....

http://img265.imageshack.us/img265/532/aaaafun1sy3.jpg
[SIZE="4"]
They were only looking after your best interests.......
(& those of the passing motorists!!!!)
[/SIZE] [/CENTER]
#10
vinylandtrinkets don't you think we deprive our kids if we don't let them play out?? When I think back I would have hated not getting to play outside at all. At the same time when my girls get old enough to play out I dunno if my heart could take the strain.

And here ... we have a glimpse of why Charlie ended up in the asylum :| No wonder his face is so white!
#11
pet3r
Just seen on Look North (BBC news for NE England) and they were on about this saying 60% of 10 year olds have never been to a shop on their own!
No wonder theres an obesity problem, mothers going to get the lard for their chubsters at home lol.

Lol can tell your a northerner!
I dont think you can protect your child enough, I am WELL paranoid with my family and even my dogs (sad i know) but i just would'nt want to put my self through the pain of anything happening to them. I suppose its kinda selfish looking at it from other points of view.
#12
I suppose im lucky then as i live on an army camp and we are gated in... my kids play out from the time they get in till the time they go to bed... theres a park at the back of the house, an 8 foot trampoline in the garden, we always have each others kids over to play, saying that though when i lived in a normal street i was protective, lets hope my kids have the best so far, i do let them go to the shop and do all the things that i would have done in the 80's. :) my little boy was out making Perfume the other week for 2 hours at his g/friends house and hes only 5....
#13
My mum was actually over protective of me, and wouldn't let me play out at all. There were various other issues with my mother though, and it all had a really profound effect on my life - I have huge confidence issues, don't particularly like going out in the evening (won't go out in the evening on my own), prefer staying in and playing games/wathcing films/going on the internet, and have very few friends. I was not allowed any privacy, and nor was I allowed to become independent (I think she wanted me to become dependent on her to be honest.)

I know there are a number of other issues apart from playing out there, but it really doesn't do children any good to be constantly supervised and allowed no independence. I know things change as the child gets older and usually most kids get more freedom as they get older, but if they've spent most of their lives being supervised and over-protected by their parents, by the time they're old enough (in the parents eyes) to be allowed some freedom, the damage is already done.
#14
arfster
[SIZE=2]There are no more child abductions today than there were in the past - in fact in the Victorian era it was far more dangerous for kids. The difference today is the papers go wildly over the top on the handful of cases there are, terrifying the crap out of parents.[/SIZE]
[SIZE=2][/SIZE]
[SIZE=2]Someone should do a study comparing the risk to kids of being abducted with stuff like lightning strikes, allergy reactions, car crashes, domestic accidents etc.[/SIZE]

The thing is though there were not as many fast vehicles on the roads as there are today and thats what frightens me more. I agree that the media hype things up to us and put the fear of god into all us parents. It was only last night that i realised that I had said to my daughter (shes 10) not to play in the thunder and lightening as its dangerous. I then saw last night on the news about a man who had been struck by lightening and lived to tell the tale. It then said that about 3 people die each year due to being struck. What an idiot i feel now:oops: I am victim of the media like so many:?
#15
anastasia
My mum was actually over protective of me, and wouldn't let me play out at all. There were various other issues with my mother though, and it all had a really profound effect on my life - I have huge confidence issues, don't particularly like going out in the evening (won't go out in the evening on my own), prefer staying in and playing games/wathcing films/going on the internet, and have very few friends. I was not allowed any privacy, and nor was I allowed to become independent (I think she wanted me to become dependent on her to be honest.)

I know there are a number of other issues apart from playing out there, but it really doesn't do children any good to be constantly supervised and allowed no independence. I know things change as the child gets older and usually most kids get more freedom as they get older, but if they've spent most of their lives being supervised and over-protected by their parents, by the time they're old enough (in the parents eyes) to be allowed some freedom, the damage is already done.

Ditto. :-(
#16
I suppose I am very lucky to live in a village, I have just this year let my daughter (10 1/2) go to shops and park as long as she is with a friend, I do worry about her but where we live its quite quiet.

I was shocked to hear two 8 year olds being interviewed on tv news this week - they said they would not climb trees as they may break a limb and hurt themselves, were not allowed to get dirty (can understand this one!!) and could not go out alone incase anyone raped them. very sad that they even knew this word.

My son has a motorbike, hate the thought of him riding this, worried for his safety all the time but again I would feel wrong in restricting him. Soon he will have passed his test and again I will worry endlessly waiting for him to return.

I always thought life was really hard when the children were young, couldn't understand parents with older children saying how difficult it was. Now I know what they mean, whatever you end up doing, as a parent you always knock yourself, I question my parenting skills all the time. Think I need a handbook!

It must be difficult for parents and their children if you live in cities, near fast roads or in isolated locations, probably would keep them in the garden myself

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