As promised cassie...... My joke. - HotUKDeals
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As promised cassie...... My joke.

King of Thieves Avatar
8y, 5m agoPosted 8 years, 5 months ago
(please don't fail!)

A manager at a General Store is teaching a young, newly hired boy how to sell people more than they really want. Suddenly, a man walks in asking for a bag of lawn seed. The manager walks up to him and says, "Of course. But you will be wanting a lawn mower, too, right?" The man asks, "Why would I be?"
The manager replies, "Because when the lawn seed grows, you'll need something to cut the grass with."
Surprisingly, the man buys a lawn mower. Then another man walks in and asks for a box of Tampons. The manager nudges the newly hired boy. The boy walks up to the man and says, "Right away, Sir. But, of course, you will be wanting a lawn mower with that, right?"
The shocked man asks, "Why?!"
The young man then replies, "Well, your weekend's screwed, so you might as well mow the lawn."
King of Thieves Avatar
8y, 5m agoPosted 8 years, 5 months ago
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#1
omg man thats the fuinniest joke ive ever heard(i havent even read it yet)
1 Like #2
acecatcher3
omg man thats the fuinniest joke ive ever heard(i havent even read it yet)


Haha, ur so funny brah... Why isnt anyone posting. Is the joke really that bad? :thinking:
1 Like #3
"lol". There you go, atleast somebody has been humoured ;-)

only joking, it's not bad
#4
morris7
"lol". There you go, atleast somebody has been humoured ;-)

only joking, it's not bad


Yes morris my main man. Have some rep :-D
#5
If i say Lol, will i get rep too? hehe
#6
nadss
If i say Lol, will i get rep too? hehe


If you can get yourself and 3 other people to lol then i'll give you rep ;-)
#7
quite funny:thumbsup: ( nothing to do with ^^^ !)
#8
King of Thieves
If you can get yourself and 3 other people to lol then i'll give you rep ;-)


lol lol lol ;-)
#9
King of Thieves
Haha, ur so funny brah... Why isnt anyone posting. Is the joke really that bad? :thinking:



no its good but I bet you like this one

Paddy asks Murphy if he wants any fags when he goes on holidays.

"Cheers" says Murphy, "Get me 200 Benson and Hedges".

Two weeks later. Paddy comes back with the cigarettes and sees Murphy in the pub... "Got your fags for you… you owe me £74.50".

"For fecks sake" said Murphy, "Wher'd ye gan on holiday?"

"Butlins" replied Paddy. :friends:
#10
alnbowes
no its good but I bet you like this one

Paddy asks Murphy if he wants any fags when he goes on holidays.

"Cheers" says Murphy, "Get me 200 Benson and Hedges".

Two weeks later. Paddy comes back with the cigarettes and sees Murphy in the pub... "Got your fags for you… you owe me £74.50".

"For fecks sake" said Murphy, "Wher'd ye gan on holiday?"

"Butlins" replied Paddy. :friends:



lol, wouldnt that be considered racist. You may want to delete it :whistling:
#11
King of Thieves
lol, wouldnt that be considered racist. You may want to delete it :whistling:


Why , the irish arent a Race of people Im half irish myself.
It could be country (ist ) if they have politically invented that now ;-)

I suppose this one is sexist

Women's Love Poem

Before I lay me down to sleep,
I pray for a man, who's not a creep,
One who's handsome, smart and strong
One who loves to listen long,
One who thinks before he speaks,
One who'll call, not wait for weeks.
I pray he's gainfully employed,
When I spend his cash, won't be annoyed.
Pulls out my chair and opens my door,
Massages my back and begs to do more.
Oh! Send me a man who'll make love to my mind,
Knows what to answer to 'how big's my behind?'
I pray that this man will love me to no end,
And always be my very best friend.

Mens Love Poem

I pray for a deaf-mute nymphomaniac with
huge boobs who owns a bar on a golf course,
and loves to send me fishing and hunting. This
doesn't rhyme and I don't give a sh!t.:w00t:
1 Like #12
any chance of some rep then ??:-D
#13
Well, what can i say?
that was soo funny?
pmsl?
lol?

Some things are best left unsaid, unfortunately I can't hold my tongue :p

http://failblog.files.wordpress.com/2008/04/militia-fail.jpg
http://www.mmaplayground.com/forums/i/pi/171630_5.jpg
http://www.gapingvoid.com/fail444456-thumb.jpg
http://bizzlebros.files.wordpress.com/2008/05/prop-fail.jpg?w=273&h=300
#14
alnbowes
any chance of some rep then ??:-D


Absoposiflippinlutely mate.... Nice joke and nice rhymes. :thumbsup:
Would rep you twice but can't lol.


And cassie.... Shurrup. Everybody else liked it so :prop:
#15
alnbowes
any chance of some rep then ??:-D


Kot, I'd FAIL him for tryin to post his jokes in your thread!;-)

Absoposiflippinlutely mate

Now, that's the funniest thing i've heard all day!
#16
cassieismydoggie
Kot, I'd FAIL him for tryin to post his jokes in your thread!;-)


Wish i'd thought of that!! :w00t:
Oh well, to late now. I've given the guy rep, he tried hard enough so i suppose he deserves it.
#17
He was postin in my joke thread earlier coz he can't start a thread at work - lame excuse!
(i fell for it too)
#18
King of Thieves
Absoposiflippinlutely mate.... Nice joke and nice rhymes. :thumbsup:
Would rep you twice but can't lol.


And cassie.... Shurrup. Everybody else liked it so :prop:


thanking you



hi thank you all (takes a bow)

avoids roses thown at him )
Wants to encore however inn serious question game on another thread :w00t:
#19
You being serious!?

Oi, alnbowes. Can you honestly not start a thread?
1 Like #20
cassieismydoggie
He was postin in my joke thread earlier coz he can't start a thread at work - lame excuse!
(i fell for it too)


Its twuuu its twuuu Im in work now ...finishing in 10 mins ;-)
#21
King of Thieves
You being serious!?

Oi, alnbowes. Can you honestly not start a thread?


honestly! if you look at my other replies wou will see i was trying to post a thread to find levis24's thread about the betting the other day :thumbsup:

I think there is some thing on here blocking me via javascript or something . were not suppost to be able to access forums
#22
And here is a special pic for alnbowes:thumbsup:

http://i114.photobucket.com/albums/n259/serenity1694/fail.jpg
#23
lol. Fair enough.

I'm leaving now anyway. Have a good weekend people and I'll speak with you all again on monday!
#24
King of Thieves
lol. Fair enough.

I'm leaving now anyway. Have a good weekend people and I'll speak with you all again on monday!


aye , dint get all this fail malarkie like , whats that all aboot :?
#25
cassieismydoggie
And here is a special pic for alnbowes:thumbsup:

http://i114.photobucket.com/albums/n259/serenity1694/fail.jpg


cheers , wish i could put a pic back to you , cant seem to do that either
#26
last one , finished now ....see yas all

A psychiatrist was conducting a group therapy session with four young mothers and their small children. "You all have obsessions," he observed.

To the first mother, Mary, he said, "You are obsessed with eating. You've even named your daughter Candy."

He turned to the second Mom, Ann: "Your obsession is with money. Again, it manifests itself in your child's name, Penny."

He turned to the third Mom, Joyce: "Your obsession is alcohol. This too shows itself in your child's name, Brandy."

At this point, the fourth mother, Kathy, quietly got up, took her little boy by the hand and whispered, "Come on, Dick, we're leaving." :w00t::w00t:
1 Like #27
To put a picture up, left click the picture, go to properties, copy the address.
click on the insert image on the message reply box & paste the address on it. Voila!! Now that deserves some rep!!
Oh no, you are now free to post pics in everyone's threads!
What have I done! :p
#28
:-DLmao, I shall be using that myself! Thanks!
#29
v good :giggle:
#30
It wasn't that bad.

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