Mr. and Mrs. Fenton are retired. Mrs. Fenton insists that Mr. Fenton go with her to ASDA. He gets bored with all the shopping. He prefers to get in and get out, but Mrs. Fenton loves to browse.
Here's a letter sent to her from ASDA.
Dear Mrs. Fenton,
Over the past six months, your husband has been causing quite a commotion in our store.
We cannot tolerate this behavior and may ban both of you from our stores. We have documented all incidents on our video surveillance equipment. All complaints against Mr. Fenton are listed below.
1. June 15: Took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in people's carts when they weren't looking.
2. July 2: Set all the alarm clocks in homeware to go off at 5-minute intervals.
3. July 7: Made a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the toilets.
4. July 19: Walked up to an employee and told her in an official tone, 'Code 3' in dairy... and watched what happened.
5. Aug 4: Went to the Customer Service Desk and asked to put a bag of M&M's on credit.
6. Sept 14: Moved a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.
7. Sept 15: Set up a tent in the camping department and told other shoppers he'd invite them in if they'll bring pillows from the bedding department.
8. Sept 23: When a shop assistant asks if they can help him, he begins to cry and asks, 'Why can't you people just leave me alone?'
9. Oct 4: Looked right into the security camera; used it as a mirror, and picked his nose.
10. Nov 10: While handling knives in the kitchen utensil department, asked the assistant if he knows where to find the antidepressants.
11. Dec 3: Darted around the shop suspiciously loudly humming the "Mission Impossible" theme.
12. Dec 6: In the car accessory department, practiced his "Madonna look" using different size funnels.
13. Dec 18: Hid in a clothing rack in the George department and when people browse through, yelled "PICK ME!" "PICK ME!"
14. Dec 21: When an announcement came over the loud speaker, he assumes the fetal position and screams "NO! NO! It's those Voices again!!!!"
And last, but not least ....
15. Dec 23: Went into the George fitting room, shut the door, waited a while, and then yelled very loudly, "There is no toilet paper in here!"