At least being on HUKD means you don't have to shop with this guy... - HotUKDeals
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At least being on HUKD means you don't have to shop with this guy...

duckmagicuk2 Avatar
8y, 9m agoPosted 8 years, 9 months ago
Mr. and Mrs. Fenton are retired. Mrs. Fenton insists that Mr. Fenton go with her to ASDA. He gets bored with all the shopping. He prefers to get in and get out, but Mrs. Fenton loves to browse.

Here's a letter sent to her from ASDA.


Dear Mrs. Fenton,

Over the past six months, your husband has been causing quite a commotion in our store.

We cannot tolerate this behavior and may ban both of you from our stores. We have documented all incidents on our video surveillance equipment. All complaints against Mr. Fenton are listed below.

1. June 15: Took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in people's carts when they weren't looking.

2. July 2: Set all the alarm clocks in homeware to go off at 5-minute intervals.

3. July 7: Made a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the toilets.

4. July 19: Walked up to an employee and told her in an official tone, 'Code 3' in dairy... and watched what happened.

5. Aug 4: Went to the Customer Service Desk and asked to put a bag of M&M's on credit.

6. Sept 14: Moved a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.

7. Sept 15: Set up a tent in the camping department and told other shoppers he'd invite them in if they'll bring pillows from the bedding department.

8. Sept 23: When a shop assistant asks if they can help him, he begins to cry and asks, 'Why can't you people just leave me alone?'

9. Oct 4: Looked right into the security camera; used it as a mirror, and picked his nose.

10. Nov 10: While handling knives in the kitchen utensil department, asked the assistant if he knows where to find the antidepressants.

11. Dec 3: Darted around the shop suspiciously loudly humming the "Mission Impossible" theme.

12. Dec 6: In the car accessory department, practiced his "Madonna look" using different size funnels.

13. Dec 18: Hid in a clothing rack in the George department and when people browse through, yelled "PICK ME!" "PICK ME!"

14. Dec 21: When an announcement came over the loud speaker, he assumes the fetal position and screams "NO! NO! It's those Voices again!!!!"

And last, but not least ....

15. Dec 23: Went into the George fitting room, shut the door, waited a while, and then yelled very loudly, "There is no toilet paper in here!"

Yours,
ASDA Management
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duckmagicuk2 Avatar
8y, 9m agoPosted 8 years, 9 months ago
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(19) Jump to unreadPost a comment
Comments/page:
#1
i do believe posted before, but still a funny hoax
#2
I went through and changed a lot of it so it was more British. Changed some of the products and the shop name. ;-)
#3
thanks for the laugh - dare my partner to do just 1 of those - might do one myself!!
#4
That is funny lol never read that before
#5
I have heard it before, but still love the "PICK ME PICK ME" line :)
#6
Nice 1
#7
absolutely wonderful it has certainly cheered up my day, next time im inasda i might have to try one :)
#8
Nice one :thumbsup:

:giggle: My personal favourite is No. 13 :-D
#9
waaaaah thank you muchly for that i needed to smile
#10
Excellent. I'd love to do 11. Good laugh
#11
Number 11....done that, liked number 1 as well, gonna try that, I also like moving trolleys, so people sit there going it's not my trolley...:whistling:
#12
HAHAHAHAHAHAHA !! How funny!!! I like the tomato juice one!! Hilarious!!!:-D
#13
Brilliant I would go shoping with that guy.
#14
Agent_Silver
Number 11....done that, liked number 1 as well, gonna try that, I also like moving trolleys, so people sit there going it's not my trolley...:whistling:


[SIZE="2"]Post the u-tube link then!!![/SIZE]:whistling:
Have you tried moving trolleys with toddlers in? I can't wait til I'm really old so that I can do some of this stuff - NOT the condoms - and get away with it. Mind you, I'll probably be too decrepit to be able to push the trolleys.:)
#15
chesso
[SIZE="2"]Post the u-tube link then!!![/SIZE]:whistling:
Have you tried moving trolleys with toddlers in? I can't wait til I'm really old so that I can do some of this stuff - NOT the condoms - and get away with it. Mind you, I'll probably be too decrepit to be able to push the trolleys.:)


not moving trolleys with kids in, there is only so much mischeviousness (is that a real word?) in me...I have kids...first time I went shopping with Ellie I left her in her pram and wandered off:oops:
#16
Agent_Silver
not moving trolleys with kids in, there is only so much mischeviousness (is that a real word?) in me...I have kids...first time I went shopping with Ellie I left her in her pram and wandered off:oops:

Isn't it just 'mischief' and don't know about the spelling!
We've all done it at least once - left the push-chair by the post office door because there's no where else inside the place and gone out and off with out the toddler. Makes you feel soooo guilty and horrified doesn't it , even if it's just a few minutes. Can still remember that feeling and mine are grown men now!
#17
Cheers, a British version of this.
#18
read the same a couple of years ago but about tesco, yet still find it funny :p
#19
made me chuckle lol

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