Attempt to lighten things up a bit - HotUKDeals
We use cookie files to improve site functionality and personalisation. By continuing to use HotUKDeals, you accept our cookie and privacy policy.
Get the HotUKDeals app free at Google Play

Search Error

An error occurred when searching, please try again!

Login / Sign UpSubmit

Attempt to lighten things up a bit

£0.00 @
I thought these were really funny ...... I'll put them in the first post, so as not to make the op too long.
shibi din Avatar
8y, 9m agoPosted 8 years, 9 months ago
I thought these were really funny ......

I'll put them in the first post, so as not to make the op too long.
shibi din Avatar
8y, 9m agoPosted 8 years, 9 months ago
Options

All Comments

(13) Jump to unreadPost a comment
Comments/page:
#1
They're Back! Those wonderful Church Bulletins!
We are indebted to church ladies for these smiles.

These sentences actually appeared in church bulletins
or were announced in church services:

1. The Fasting & Prayer Conference includes meals.

2. The sermon this morning: 'Jesus Walks on the Water.'
The sermon tonight: 'Searching for Jesus.'

3. Ladies, don't forget the rummage sale.
It's a chance to get rid of those things not worth keeping around the house.
Bring your husbands.

4. Weight Watchers will meet at 7 PM at the First Presbyterian Church.
Please use large double door at the side entrance.

5. Remember in prayer the many who are sick of our community.
Smile at someone who is hard to love.
Say 'Hell' to someone who doesn't care much about you.

6. Don't let worry kill you off – let the Church help.

7. Miss Charlene Mason sang 'I will not pass this way again,'
giving obvious pleasure to the congregation.

8. For those of you who have children and don't know it, we have a nursery downstairs.

9. Next Thursday there will be tryouts for the choir. They need all the help they can get.

10. Irving Benson and Jessie Carter were married on October 24 in the church.
So ends a friendship that began in their school days.

11. A bean supper will be held on Tuesday evening in the church hall.
Music will follow.

12. At the evening service tonight, the sermon topic will be 'What Is Hell?'
Come early and listen to our choir practice.

13. Eight new choir robes are currently needed due to the addition of several new members
and to the deterioration of some older ones.

14. Scouts are saving aluminum cans, bottles and other items to be recycled.
Proceeds will be used to cripple children.

15. Please place your donation in the envelope along with the deceased person you want remembered.

16. The church will host an evening of fine dining, super entertainment and gracious hostility.

17. Potluck supper Sunday at 5:00 PM - prayer and medication to follow.

18. The ladies of the Church have cast off clothing of every kind.
They may be seen in the basement on Friday afternoon.

19. This evening at 7 PM there will be a hymn singing in the park across from the Church.
Bring a blanket and come prepared to sin.

20. Ladies Bible Study will be held Thursday morning at 10 AM.
All ladies are invited to lunch in the Fellowship Hall after the B.S. is done.

21. The pastor would appreciate it if the ladies of the
congregation would lend him their electric girdles for the pancake breakfast next Sunday.

22. Low Self Esteem Support Group will meet Thursday at 7 PM.
Please use the back door.

23. The eighth-graders will be presenting Shakespeare's Hamlet in the Church basement Friday at 7 PM.
The congregation is invited to attend this tragedy.

24. The Associate Minister unveiled the church's new campaign slogan last Sunday:
'I Upped My Pledge - Up Yours.'
#2
V Good :)
#3
Hee Hee!
#4
Very good! :lol:
#5
:giggle::giggle:
#6
pmsl :)
1 Like #7
Very funny and nice to see you about again shibi:thumbsup:
1 Like #8
Hey shibi :)
Here have yourself a strawberry and everyone else, so many in the garden, lol

http://i47.photobucket.com/albums/f160/ordinaryphotos/FORUMSTRAWS.jpg
1 Like #9
Train Driver
Very funny and nice to see you about again shibi:thumbsup:

Nice to be back. 'Twas a self inflicted "ban" - didn't like all the bad stuff going on - but have been reading on and off - and I have to say, a bit gobsmacked at what has been happening!!!

hottoshop
Hey shibi :)
Here have yourself a strawberry and everyone else, so many in the garden, lol


Thanks for the strawberries - they were delicious!! :thumbsup:
#10
Love em!:thumbsup:- particularly the weight watchers entrance one!!:roll:
#11
shibi din
Nice to be back. 'Twas a self inflicted "ban" - didn't like all the bad stuff going on - but have been reading on and off - and I have to say, a bit gobsmacked at what has been happening!!!



Thanks for the strawberries - they were delicious!! :thumbsup:


You're welcome shibi, good to see you posting again and hope you continue.
Take care
Tony :thumbsup:
#12
Had me screaming. Just what I needed.
#13
hottoshop
Hey shibi :)
Here have yourself a strawberry and everyone else, so many in the garden, lol

http://i47.photobucket.com/albums/f160/ordinaryphotos/FORUMSTRAWS.jpg


YUM! so these are the famous strawberries you make!

Post a Comment

You don't need an account to leave a comment. Just enter your email address. We'll keep it private.

...OR log in with your social account

...OR comment using your social account

Looking for Twitter login?
Thanks for your comment! Keep it up!
We just need to have a quick look and it will be live soon.
The community is happy to hear your opinion! Keep contributing!