1. I am currently out at a job interview and will reply to you if I fail to get the
position. Be prepared for my mood.
2. Im not really out of the office. Im just ignoring you.
3. You are receiving this automatic notification because I am out of the office.
If I was in, chances are you wouldnt have received anything at all.
4. Sorry to have missed you but I am at the doctors having my brain removed so that I
may be promoted to management.
5. I will be unable to delete all the unread, worthless emails you send me until I
return from vacation on 4/18. Please be patient and your mail will be deleted in the
order it was received.
6. Thank you for your email. Your credit card has been charged $5.99 for the first ten
words and $1.99 for each additional word in your message.
7. The e-mail server is unable to verify your server connection and is unable to deliver
this message. Please restart your computer and try sending again.
8. I am on holiday. Your e-mail has been deleted.
9. Thank you for your message, which has been added to a queueing system. You are
currently in 352nd place, and can expect to receive a reply in approximately 19 weeks.
10. Please reply to this e-mail so I will know that you got this message.
11. Hi. Im thinking about what youve just sent me. Please wait by your PC for my response.
12. Hi! Im busy negotiating the salary for my new job. Dont bother to leave me any
13. Ive run away to join a different circus.
14. I will be out of the office for the next 2 weeks for medical reasons. When I return,
please refer to me as Loretta instead of Steve.