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Becoming friends with an ex

ryman1000 Avatar
banned6y, 4m agoPosted 6 years, 4 months ago
my girlfriend broke up with me tonight and in the end we decided we'd still be friends and see where it goes from there. i still have feelings for her, not sure she does me though, can it ever work / has it worked for anyone ?
ryman1000 Avatar
banned6y, 4m agoPosted 6 years, 4 months ago
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#1
it can work, and it sounds like you are at least on good terms, However in most instances im sorry to say it doesn't and you end up drifting (In my own and friends experiences anyway). if you stay friends, that great, if you dont, it's probably for the best (sorry if that sounds patronising at al!) Good luck to you though chap!

Edited By: Jetpac on Aug 31, 2010 01:04: edit
1 Like #2
I've managed to stay friends with the guys I had short term relationships with. Decided I wanted them as friends rather than anything else and 6-7years down the line, it's still great. But with my ex husband, his promise to stay friends forever disappeared as soon as he met someone else. I did tell him he was being unrealistic expecting us to be friends but he thought he knew better.

Good luck anyway...I think it depends very much on the people involved.
banned#3
Jetpac
it can work, and it sounds like you are at least on good terms, However in most instances im sorry to say it doesn't and you end up drifting. if you stay friends, that great, if you dont, it's probably for the best (sorry if that sounds patronising at al!) Good luck to you though chap!


it didn't, thanks for the advice. although i say i want to be friends, i dont, i just want to be what we were, im just not sure we ever will be, and this is a last ditch effort. if i had said no, it would have definitely been over. i'm probably just being naive about it and need to start being realistic about the situation.

Edited By: ryman1000 on Aug 31, 2010 01:10: .
#4
Is this the Brazilian one?
banned#5
dcx_badass
Is this the Brazilian one?


no, luckily that isn't me.
banned#6
would work until she found someone else, then sooner or later you'll end up being out with them both and you'll probably want to kill him or yourself
#7
My stories slightly different to you, but I married my best friends ex girlfriend and 23 years later we're all still best friends and it's never been an issue to any of us.
1 Like #8
Nope, it's the end ... that is ...the end.... sorry but you now have to ' move on'.

Do not ever think that there is a way back and if your best mate smacks her across the face, it wont't help!! Really , it won't help.

Friends - in a universe where people are asexual but 'chums' is possible - been there and done that,
I know it was hard on my ex's in the dim and distant

Emotionally devastating as it is, you will survive to find your soul mate. Move on.
1 Like #9
It doesn't work and will just drag it out and make it hurt more. Best to cut ties until you're over it all and then maybe try to be friends at that point.
banned#10
chesso
Nope, it's the end ... that is ...the end.... sorry but you now have to ' move on'.

Do not ever think that there is a way back and if your best mate smacks her across the face, it wont't help!! Really , it won't help.

Friends - in a universe where people are asexual but 'chums' is possible - been there and done that,
I know it was hard on my ex's in the dim and distant

Emotionally devastating as it is, you will survive to find your soul mate. Move on.

angelfairee
It doesn't work and will just drag it out and make it hurt more. Best to cut ties until you're over it all and then maybe try to be friends at that point.


theres been a few signs but its come so unexepectedly im not sure how. she seems undecided whether it's the right thing yet herself, hinting we'll be friends for now, and maybe go back to what we were in the future. i'm not sure whether to take what could be false hope or just move on entirely. i know what will be easier in the short run.
#11
False hope is your worst enemy. Trust me.
#12
angelfairee
False hope is your worst enemy. Trust me.


100%
#13
Stay civilised and considerate for your own reputation if nothing else. Maybe she just needs some space? Sometimes people get back together after a split, mostly not though.
#14
There were obviously issues that caused the relationship to fail.
That is why it ended.
I have managed to remain friends with certain ex's but I have no intention of restarting relationships with them. Things that caused the split are still relevant even if there is no hurt involved.
If there are enough shared interests it may be possible to remain friends but bear in mind this will probably mean accepting that your ex will be starting a relationship with a different person. If you cant deal with this then you will have to close all doors.
banned#15
depends on how adult each person can be,
#16
In my experience, no - it doesn't work. Perhaps you'll be 'friendly' if you bump into each other whilst out, but I wouldn't expect much more than that.
#17
hope you arent setting urself up for a fall. u are geting over her and u will only end up starting the recovery all over again if u fall for her again.

think twice, what are u hoping to achieve, a genuine fronedship like with ur best mate, or a bit more?
#18
my spelling sucks...so cba!
#19
i am very good mates with my ex boyfriend, such good mates in fact he became the best man at my wedding. we have been mates for 11 years after our break up so far and me and hubby regularly spend time with him and his new girlfriend.

so my answer is yes is can work :)
#20
If you still have feelings for her then it could be tricky. Depends what you mean by friends I suppose, meet up for coffees?? or be amicable if you ever see her in the street?

How will you feel when she has a new partner and does not have time for you as a friend? Just remember you were not friends before and I would say in the majority of cases (80/20 rule) people do not stay close friends after. I have always split on reasonable terms with ex partners but have not been close friends after with any of them.

I have seen them with new partners and not been bothered, happy for them almost, but that is because I didnt want to be with them anymore (or thought it was for the best) so it is different to how you are feeling.
#21
Yes it sure can. I broke up with my girlfriend about 6 years ago. We have remained best of friends ever since & regularly meet up for shopping, drinks & day trips etc. My ex wife is still a good friend too.
#22
Rophyonl and impregnate her..... worked for me lol
#23
can be difficult, espically if and when one of you gets a new partner
#24
I say if there is no kids invloved, just end all ties and you both move on... less hassle as 99% of the time 1 of you will still have feelings.

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