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best man speech

ADZ1478 Avatar
8y, 10m agoPosted 8 years, 10 months ago
I have agreed to be the best man at a wedding in a month or so, so I supose its time to start wrtiting a speech of some sort. Has anyone out there got any little gems I could use.
The groom is a mechanic and the girl he is marrying is called Titcomb (pronounced titcum) please keep it clean, well quite clean........
Cheers all
ADZ1478 Avatar
8y, 10m agoPosted 8 years, 10 months ago
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1 Like #1
Has he given her a pearl necklace as present for their engagement?
1 Like #2
LOL how is it poosible to keep such a thing clean with a name like titcum????
1 Like #3
manzi
LOL how is it poosible to keep such a thing clean with a name like titcum????


I quite agree :whistling::w00t:
1 Like #4
I was given a great starter line for a speech which went like this,
" A good speech should be like a Lady's dress [dramatic pause], Short enough to be interesting but with enough material to cover the essentials"

It worked for me at my Brothers wedding, got the crowd laughing and made me relax.
:thumbsup:
1 Like #5
If it's a top hat and tails sorta thing hire a magicians hat and pull a rabbit out of it.

Did he ask you to be the best man or the breast man?
1 Like #7
i like the way you didnt get in trouble 4 swearing by making up a name like TITCUM haha although i once had a friend named kockming (pronounced cockminge) from china. :-D
1 Like #8
I work at Shell and you should see some of the names in the directory - for a while I was sending mails to the Baby Jesus, and with help desk in India there are a lot of other crackers. Plus with recruitment freeze and oil shift in last few years we are getting a lot of international grads....I hate going to look for someone for training etc and not being sure if they are male or female....am sure i have offended quite a few asians etc by asking if they were a female\bloke etc.

BTW whats your mates last name....i.e what is she going to becum?
1 Like #9
In my halls of residence there was someone called Isobel Ender :-D
1 Like #10
I'm afraid that the jokes will come accross a lot more naturally to the audience if you like them yourself. You could really, really lay into the bloke (politely) and get away with it. It's the only time.

I was the best man at my brother's wedding. They met whilst working at a pet shop and my brother was really interested in animals and rodents (he now teaches animal care at an agricultural college). Lines I used were "we always knew that it'd be hard for him to find someone who didn't mind him staring at a girbil's genitals" and "when they first laid eyes on each other over the buy one get one free dog biscuits".

Really though, it's not enough just to make jokes about mechanics. Totally pick everything apart, think of how they met, any funny stories about their early relationship, etc. You have to get really close to the bone here. As I've said, as long as you aren't too rude to them or offensive then the world is your oyster. Good luck.
#11
That's a cracking name!! Bet she's sorry to see that one go (not!) :w00t:

Anyway, please let us know how it goes, you seems to have been given lots of advice here. :-D
#12
The wedding i went to sat the best man opened with 'ive heard a good speech should last as long as the groom takes to make love, so thank you all for coming and enjoy the party'
#13
loupomm
The wedding i went to sat the best man opened with 'ive heard a good speech should last as long as the groom takes to make love, so thank you all for coming and enjoy the party'


LOL :-D
#14
http://www.thebestmanspeech.com/

hope here you'll find what you look for :)

cheers!
#15
Keep em coming, this stuff is brilliant....pearl necklace.....lol
#16
wish you be a great best man! all the best - carefull with the speech!
#17
Being the best man is like sleeping with the Queen, it's a great honour, but nobody wants to do it
#18
at my wedding the best man got my husband to put his hand on top of mine and through out his speech made sure that my hubbies hand was still on top of mine, at the very end he said to my hubby that he hoped he enjoyed having his hand there as it would be the last time he would ever have the upper hand... and he was right:-D
#19
s.o.n.i.a
at my wedding the best man got my husband to put his hand on top of mine and through out his speech made sure that my hubbies hand was still on top of mine, at the very end he said to my hubby that he hoped he enjoyed having his hand there as it would be the last time he would ever have the upper hand... and he was right:-D


Hehe, I like that. :-D
#20
My Friends Name Before She Married Was Hoare!!!

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