A dizzy blonde is sitting at work one day when her phone rings. After answering the call, she bursts into tears and is quickly consoled by her workmates who ask what's wrong.
"It's my granny," she sobs, "she's dead!" A few minutes later, the blonde takes another call and this time she's absolutely inconsolable.
"What's wrong now?" asks her pal.
"That was my sister," she yells, "her granny has died as well...!"
There was a near tragedy at the Buchanan Galleries shopping mall in Glasgow last week. A power cut left two blondes stranded on the escalator for almost five hours.
A blonde was upset because, according to her driving licence, she only got an "F" for sex.
What goes blonde, brunette, blonde, brunette, blonde, brunette? A blonde doing cartwheels.
A blonde went to the Motor Show at the SECC in Glasgow... and spent four hours walking round the car-park.
What's the most effective way of keeping a blonde busy? Hand her a bottle of shampoo with the instructions: "Lather, rinse and repeat."
What about the blonde who went skydiving and plunged to her death after her flippers and goggles didn't open?
A blonde is having a stab at the crossword when she asks her pal how to spell "paint". Her fellow blonde thinks for a moment and says: "What colour?"
Why did the blonde stop using the Pill? It kept falling out
Why was the blonde's belly-button sore? Because her boyfriend was blonde too
Two blondes were standing outside their sports car in the pouring rain. "I wish you hadn't locked the keys in the car," says one. "Tell me about it," says her pal. "The top's down and the seats are going to be soaked."