British Humour !! - HotUKDeals
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British Humour !!

twoangels Avatar
8y, 2m agoPosted 8 years, 2 months ago
Real story by a Man who was standing in a queue in Tesco's.........

I have 2 dogs & I was buying a large bag of Winalot in Tesco and was
standing in the queue at the till.

A woman behind me asked if I had a dog.

On impulse, I told her that no, I was starting The Winalot Diet again,
although I probably shouldn't because I'd ended up in the hospital last
time, but that I'd lost 50 pounds before I awakened in an intensive care
ward with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IVs in both arms.

I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and the way that it
works is to load your trouser pockets with Winalot nuggets and simply eat one or
two every time you feel hungry & that the food is nutritionally complete
so I was going to try it again.

I have to mention here that practically everyone in the queue was by now
enthralled with my story, particularly a guy who was behind her.

Horrified, she asked if I'd ended up in the hospital in that condition
because I had been poisoned. I told her no, it was because I'd been
sitting in the road licking my balls and a car hit me.

I thought one guy was going to have a heart attack he was laughing so hard
as he staggered out the door.

Stupid cow..........why else would I buy dog food??
twoangels Avatar
8y, 2m agoPosted 8 years, 2 months ago

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aww bless old lady trying to make conversation!
aww bless old lady trying to make conversation!

she might not be old she might just want diet tips :-D
I Have Just Stopped Laughing
Bill Bryson, the wonderful humourous writer, told a story about the difference between British humour and American humour.

He is American, but has a British style of humour and loves irony, which the Americans dont really understand.

He was flying into the USA a few years ago and had to go through customs.

This big burly customs officer was questioning him to see what he may have brought into the country.

The customs office said "Any fruit?".

Bryson replied "Yes please, I'll have 2 apples, 3 oranges and a melon".

The guy just stared at him and Bryson realised this was a guy you dont mess with.

He then quietly replied "No, no fruit"
Like it.
Sounds like a shaggy dog story to me.

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