British humour - HotUKDeals
We use cookie files to improve site functionality and personalisation. By continuing to use HUKD, you accept our cookie and privacy policy.
Get the HUKD app free at Google Play

Search Error

An error occurred when searching, please try again!

Login / Sign UpSubmit

British humour

MikeL Avatar
7y, 3d agoPosted 7 years, 3 days ago
The train was quite crowded, so a U.S. Marine walked the entire length looking for a seat but the only seat left was taken by a well dressed, middle-aged French woman's poodle. The war-weary Marine asked, "Ma'am, may I have that seat?"
The French woman just sniffed and said to no one in particular, "Americans are so rude. My little Fifi is using that seat."
The Marine walked the entire train again, but the only seat left was under that dog. "Please, ma'am, may I sit down? I'm very tired."
She snorted, "Not only are you Americans rude, you are also arrogant!"
This time the Marine didn't say a word; he just picked up the little dog, tossed it out the train window, and sat down.
The woman shrieked, "Someone must defend my honour! Put this American in his place!"
An English gentleman sitting nearby spoke up, "Sir, you Americans seem to have a penchant for doing the wrong thing. You hold the fork in the wrong hand. You drive your cars on the wrong side of the road, and now, sir, you seem to have thrown the wrong bitch out the window."
MikeL Avatar
7y, 3d agoPosted 7 years, 3 days ago
Options

All Comments

(6) Jump to unreadPost a comment
Comments/page:
#1
:santa: Good
#2
Hilarious!
#3
I like :thumbsup:
suspended#4
Ha ha very funny
#5
good good ! x
#6
heres 1 for you......

A TEACHER IS TEACHING MATHS IN CLASS TO A GROUP OF 12 YEAR OLDS, SHE STANDS AT THE FRONT OF THE CLASS AND ASKS "IF THERE ARE 3 SMALL BIRDS SINGING ON MY HOUSE ROOF,AND I THROW A STONE AT ONE OF THEM, HOW MANY WILL BE LEFT ?"
LITTLE JOHNNY PUTS HIS HAND UP........"YES JOHNNY, WHATS YOUR ANSWER ?"

"NONE MISS" JOHNNY SHOUTS....."

"NO JOHNNY, THERE WILL BE 2 BIRDS LEFT" THE TEACHER SAYS

"NO MISS, THERE WILL BE NONE LEFT CAUSE EVEN IF YOU HIT 1,THE OTHERS WILL SEE AND GET SCARED AND FLY AWAY..." SAYS JOHNNY ???

"WELL NO JOHNNY,THERE WOULD BE 2 LEFT BUT I LIKE THE WAY YOU THINK" SAYS TEACHER....

"OK MISS,CAN I ASK YOU A QUESTION" SAYS JOHNNY....

"IF YOU WALK THROUGH THE PARK AND SEE 3 LADIES SITTING ON THE PARK BENCH AND THEY ALL HAVE AN ICE LOLLY, AND 1 OF THEM IS LICKING THERES,1 OF THEM IS BITING THERES AND THE OTHER 1 IS SUCKING THERE ICE LOLLY....., WHICH 1 OF THEM IS MARRIED MISS" ASKES JOHNNY ?

TEACHER THINKS FOR A SECOND AND SAYS " ITS THE 1 WHO IS SUCKING THERE ICE LOLLY JOHNNY"

AND JOHNNY REPLIES " NO MISS,ITS THE 1 WEARING THE WEDDING RING.................. BUT I LIKE THE WAY YOU THINK ! !"

Post a Comment

You don't need an account to leave a comment. Just enter your email address. We'll keep it private.

...OR log in with your social account

...OR comment using your social account

Thanks for your comment! Keep it up!
We just need to have a quick look and it will be live soon.
The community is happy to hear your opinion! Keep contributing!