Hello folks, here are a few more gems that I found by the pond.
Why Dogs are Better Than Kids
1. It does not take 45 minutes to get a dog ready to go outside in the winter.
2. Dogs don't care if the peas have touched the mashed potatoes.
3. The average cost of sending a dog to school: £100. Average cost to send a kid to school, college, university: £100,000.
4. Dogs are housebroken by the time they are 12 weeks old.
5. You don't need an extra phone line for a dog.
6. Dogs never resist a nap.
7. Dogs can not lie.
8. Dogs don't pester you about getting a kid.
9. No "Generation Gap".
10. Dogs often wag their tails after getting shots/jabs.
11. Your dog is not embarrassed if you sing in public.
12. If your dog turns out bad, your genes are not blamed.
What is a Cat?
1. Cats do what they want.
2. They rarely listen to you.
3. They're totally unpredictable.
4. When you want to play, they want to be alone.
5. When you want to be alone, they want to play.
6. They expect you to cater to their every whim.
7. They're moody.
8. They leave hair everywhere.
CONCLUSION: They're tiny women in little fur coats.
What is a Dog?
1. Dogs spend all day sprawled on the most comfortable piece of furniture in the house.
2. They can hear a package of food opening half a block away, but don't hear you when you're in the same room.
3. They can look dumb and lovable all at the same time.
4. They growl when they are not happy.
5. When you want to play, they want to play.
6. When you want to be alone, they want to play.
7. They leave their toys everywhere.
8. They do disgusting things with their mouths and then try to give you a kiss.
9. They tend to go right for your crotch as soon as they meet you.
CONCLUSION: They're tiny men in little fur coats.