Cheap retirement home alternative - HotUKDeals
We use cookie files to improve site functionality and personalisation. By continuing to use HUKD, you accept our cookie and privacy policy.
Get the HUKD app free at Google Play

Search Error

An error occurred when searching, please try again!

Login / Sign UpSubmit

Cheap retirement home alternative

miles136 Avatar
5y, 6m agoPosted 5 years, 6 months ago
No nursing home for me.. I am checking into the Holiday Inn!
With the average cost for a nursing home care costing £150 per day, there is a better way when we get old and feeble.
I have already checked on reservations at the Holiday Inn. For a combined long term stay discount and OAP discount, it's £29 per night. That leaves £119 a day for breakfast, lunch and dinner in any restaurant I want, or room service, laundry, gratuities and special TV movies Plus,
they provide a spa, swimming pool, a workout room, a lounge and
washer-dryer, etc ........ Most have free toothpaste and razors, and all
have free shampoo and soap. £5 worth of tips a day will have the entire staff scrambling to help you.
They treat you like a customer, not a patient. There is a will be a bus stop out front, and OAP;s ride free. The dial a bus will also pick you up (if you fake a decent limp).
To meet other nice people, call a church bus on Sundays.
For a change of scenery,boOK a hotel at airport take the airport shuttle bus and eat at one of the nice restaurants there. While you're at the airport, fly somewhere. Otherwise, the cash keeps building up.

It takes months to get into decent nursing homes. Holiday Inn will take your reservation today. And you are not stuck in one place forever, you can move from Inn to Inn, or even from city to city. Want to see Hawaii? They have a Holiday Inn there too.
TV broken? Light bulbs need changing? Need a mattress replaced? No problem. They fix everything, and apologise for the inconvenience.
The Inn has a night security person and daily room service. The maid
checks to see if you are ok. If not, they will call the undertaker or an
ambulance. If you fall and break a hip, the NHS will pay for the hip, and
Holiday Inn will upgrade you to a suite for the rest of your life. And no worries about visits from family. They will always be glad to find
you, and probably check in for a few days mini- break.
The grand kids can use the pool.


What more can you ask for?
Other Links From Cheap:
miles136 Avatar
5y, 6m agoPosted 5 years, 6 months ago
Options

All Comments

(26) Jump to unreadPost a comment
Comments/page:
banned#1
Remind me not to book Holiday Inns to avoid rooms made vacant after senile bed wetting people have taken their last breath.

OP are you being serious?
#2
Old people did use to retire to hotels in the past, when they were relatively cheap.
#3
OP,do you think you are ever gona live even another sec?
[mod] 1 Like #4
I like yer thinking miles136 but who's gonna change yer Y fronts when you have an accident?
#5
Fantastic sense of humour...................Awesome.
banned#6
andywedge
I like yer thinking miles136 but who's gonna change yer Y fronts when you have an accident?


Numpty just volunteered.
#7
Wow,a lot of effort put into this thread :D
#8
I hope i'm dead by the time i'm an OAP.
#9
deb8z
Wow,a lot of effort put into this thread :D

Copy and pasted from 2004 - it's all over the net. Still good though if you haven't seen it!
#11
roguesupernova
deb8z
Wow,a lot of effort put into this thread :D

Copy and pasted from 2004 - it's all over the net. Still good though if you haven't seen it!

Well that's a let down lol
#12
I was sent it about 3 weeks ago. Miles must be further down the mailing list :|
#13
deb8z
I hope i'm dead by the time i'm an OAP.

Ha - I remember saying that. Give it a few years and you'll change your mind and be saying things like '50 is the new 30'. & 'Youth is wasted on the young' lol
#14
Xippi
deb8z
I hope i'm dead by the time i'm an OAP.
Ha - I remember saying that. Give it a few years and you'll change your mind and be saying things like '50 is the new 30'. & 'Youth is wasted on the young' lol

I'm already old,i just don't wanna be an OAP :D
#15
i did pinch some of the text but not all of it and it was American so had to change the text i used, ppl did used to retire to hotels, I had a great aunt who did this I remember going to visit her I used to think she was very rich because she lived in a huge house and lots of ppl helping her - but even with todays prices if u are not gravely ill this makes good fiscal sense last December
Gas £110
Elec£65
ct £155
TV l £12
Sky £25
phone £11
BB £20
water £25
ins 50
total £473 and thats with out rent or a mortgage
#16
lot of oldies book into a hotel in Malta for 6 months at a time, rent out their house in the Uk, live like rich people. Father in Law got one that was like £100 a week including evening meal
#17
A nursing home isn't somewhere you rock up in to live out the rest of your days...you go there cos you can't look after yourself...and need to people to nurse you.

You're getting confused with a residential home, which is cheaper than nursing homes, but I do like your style :p

Or you could spunk all your money and make sure any assets have been handed over to family members and then get social services to fund your placement.
banned#18
Park bench?
#19
will they wipe your donkey for you?
#20
I do understand the difference in the types of home but you would be surprised how often ppl get put in them for simple issues like they some times leave the gas oven on or they are just lonely and need company residential homes are not that much cheaper, and after just looking at the figure I just posted and including my morg I think I may look into it sooner lol could do with a indoor pool after yesterday lol
#21
chalkysoil
lot of oldies book into a hotel in Malta for 6 months at a time, rent out their house in the Uk, live like rich people. Father in Law got one that was like £100 a week including evening meal


Qawra Inn Hotel
Malta
The three star Qawra Inn Hotel is one of Malta's most popular Hotels. It offers a wide range of facilities, most of them are not required in 3 star hotels by the authorities. Some of the facilities such as indoor heated pool, free coffee with meals are not even required in 5 star hotels, other facilities are large pool, children pool, buffet English breakfast, 3 bars, restaurant with paramic views ,buffet dinner with 18 choices and 3 times a week carvery, lifts, games room, beauty salon, internet caf� & safes in rooms or reception, all rooms have air condition, telephone, satellite TV, Private facilities and balcony.
From £4 Per Person Per Night
#22
miles136
I do understand the difference in the types of home but you would be surprised how often ppl get put in them for simple issues like they some times leave the gas oven on or they are just lonely and need company residential homes are not that much cheaper, and after just looking at the figure I just posted and including my morg I think I may look into it sooner lol could do with a indoor pool after yesterday lol


They are probably leaving the gas on because they have dementia or early signs of it and I hardly think that is a simple thing...pretty dangerous to themselves and to neighbors etc if the house blew up.

But as I said above the top tip is to spunk all your money or to palm it off somewhere else...because if you do need to go into a home and when Social services come knocking to assess you and your finances you'll have to sell your house to fund and pay full whack and the care homes charge more for a self funder than they do for a SS client
#23
The only thing I noticed about numpty's post was that he's not denying that he volunteered to change your kecks!

http://nexus404.com/Blog/wp-content/uploads/2006/10/safepantslarge.jpg

Great pic and here's the blurb:

If you are concerned about personal safety and want to take measures to protect your posessions whilst walking around in unknown or suspect locations then these extremely bizarre Y-Fronts may be exactly what you’re looking for. After all, if you are attacked it would require an attacker with a particularly strong stomach to investigate these frankly vile undergarments for hidden treasures.

Let’s just hope that you don’t meet the lady of your dreams whilst wearing these as these heavily pre-stained pants have to be the ultimate passion killer.


Available for a mere $9.00 USD these passion killers feature a Velcro sealed hidden compartment in the front which, depending on what you store in there, could make you appear to be particularly well endowed (I was thinking as a digital camera, perhaps).

And, whilst I can wholly understand that whatever you store in these pants is probably in the safest place in the universe (who is going to want to explore these for goodies) I do wonder how easy it is to gain access to the items stored in these pants when required without looking like a complete letch. Yes you would like to buy that, but first if the sales assistant could excuse you for a second whilst you have a quick rummage around to get the money.
#24
chalkysoil
chalkysoil
lot of oldies book into a hotel in Malta for 6 months at a time, rent out their house in the Uk, live like rich people. Father in Law got one that was like £100 a week including evening meal


Qawra Inn Hotel
Malta
The three star Qawra Inn Hotel is one of Malta's most popular Hotels. It offers a wide range of facilities, most of them are not required in 3 star hotels by the authorities. Some of the facilities such as indoor heated pool, free coffee with meals are not even required in 5 star hotels, other facilities are large pool, children pool, buffet English breakfast, 3 bars, restaurant with paramic views ,buffet dinner with 18 choices and 3 times a week carvery, lifts, games room, beauty salon, internet caf� & safes in rooms or reception, all rooms have air condition, telephone, satellite TV, Private facilities and balcony.
From £4 Per Person Per Night


I've actually stayed in this hotel and you get what you pay for. I would NEVER check in here for more than a few nights, let alone 6 months!!

We kicked up such a fuss about our room that we were moved to a private apartment overlooking Qawra bay after 2 nights, at the travel agents expense. We ate out in Bugibba/Qawra and never went to the main hotel building for the rest of our 2 week holiday.
banned#25
What's the difference between the Holiday Inn and a Retirement home?

One smells of urine and old people, and the other is a retirement home.

:D
#26
jiminym
The only thing I noticed about numpty's post was that he's not denying that he volunteered to change your kecks!

http://nexus404.com/Blog/wp-content/uploads/2006/10/safepantslarge.jpg

Great pic and here's the blurb:

If you are concerned about personal safety and want to take measures to protect your posessions whilst walking around in unknown or suspect locations then these extremely bizarre Y-Fronts may be exactly what you’re looking for. After all, if you are attacked it would require an attacker with a particularly strong stomach to investigate these frankly vile undergarments for hidden treasures.

Let’s just hope that you don’t meet the lady of your dreams whilst wearing these as these heavily pre-stained pants have to be the ultimate passion killer.


Available for a mere $9.00 USD these passion killers feature a Velcro sealed hidden compartment in the front which, depending on what you store in there, could make you appear to be particularly well endowed (I was thinking as a digital camera, perhaps).

And, whilst I can wholly understand that whatever you store in these pants is probably in the safest place in the universe (who is going to want to explore these for goodies) I do wonder how easy it is to gain access to the items stored in these pants when required without looking like a complete letch. Yes you would like to buy that, but first if the sales assistant could excuse you for a second whilst you have a quick rummage around to get the money.
my pants never get in that state and if the did it would be time for a trip to swizerland oneway

Post a Comment

You don't need an account to leave a comment. Just enter your email address. We'll keep it private.

...OR log in with your social account

...OR comment using your social account

Thanks for your comment! Keep it up!
We just need to have a quick look and it will be live soon.
The community is happy to hear your opinion! Keep contributing!