If inappropiate please delte.
A nursery school pupil told his teacher he'd found a cat, but it Was dead.
'How do you know that the cat was dead?' she asked her pupil.
'Because I pissed in its ear and it didn't move,' answered the child
'You did WHAT?' the teacher exclaimed in surprise.
'You know,' explained the boy, 'I leaned over and went 'Pssst' and it Didn't move'
A small boy is sent to bed by his father.
Five minutes later.....'Da-ad....'
'I'm thirsty. Can you bring a drink of water?'
'No, You had your chance. Lights out.'
Five minutes later: 'Da-aaaad.....'
'I'm THIRSTY. Can I have a drink of water??'
' I told you NO! If you ask again, I'll have to smack you!!'
Five minutes later......'Daaaa-aaaad.....'
'When you come in to smack me, can you bring a drink of water?'
One day the first grade teacher was reading the story of Chicken Little to her class. She came to the part of the story where Chicken Little tried to warn the farmer.
She read, '.... And so Chicken Little went up to the farmer and said, 'The sky is falling, the sky is falling!'
The teacher paused then asked the class, 'And what do you think that farmer said?'
One little girl raised her hand and replied,
'I think he said: 'Holy S**t! A talking chicken!''
The teacher was unable to teach for the next 10 minutes.
A little girl goes to the barber shop with her father.
She stands next to the barber chair, while her dad gets his hair cut,
eating a snack cake The barber says to her,
'Sweetheart, you're gonna get hair on your muffin.'
'Yes, I know, and I'm gonna get boobs too.'