All those who believe in telekinesis, raise my hand
Shin: a device for finding furniture in the dark.
I intend to live forever - so far, so good.
24 hours in a day ... 24 beers in a case.....coincidence?
I used to have an open mind but my brains kept falling out.
No one is listening until you make a mistake.
I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder.
Success always occurs in private, and failure in full view.
Monday is an awful way to spend 1/7th of your life.
A fool and his money are soon partying.
I'd kill for a Nobel Peace Prize.
42.7 percent of all statistics are made up on the spot.
What happens if you get scared half to death twice?