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Commendable quotes

skusey Avatar
7y, 11m agoPosted 7 years, 11 months ago
All those who believe in telekinesis, raise my hand
Shin: a device for finding furniture in the dark.
I intend to live forever - so far, so good.
24 hours in a day ... 24 beers in a case.....coincidence?
I used to have an open mind but my brains kept falling out.
No one is listening until you make a mistake.
I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder.
Success always occurs in private, and failure in full view.
Monday is an awful way to spend 1/7th of your life.
A fool and his money are soon partying.
I'd kill for a Nobel Peace Prize.
42.7 percent of all statistics are made up on the spot.
What happens if you get scared half to death twice?
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skusey Avatar
7y, 11m agoPosted 7 years, 11 months ago
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#1
I Think therefore You are.
#2
He may look like an idiot and talk like an idiot but don't let that fool you. He really is an idiot.


I never forget a face, but in your case I'll be glad to make an exception.


I sent the club a wire stating,
PLEASE ACCEPT MY RESIGNATION.
I DON'T WANT TO BELONG TO ANY CLUB
THAT WILL ACCEPT ME AS A MEMBER.


Groucho Marx
#3
A bank is a place where they lend you an umbrella in fair weather and ask for it back when it begins to rain. by Robert Frost
The nice thing about egotists is that they don't talk about other people.
by Lucille S. Harper
Everything is funny as long as it is happening to somebody else.
by Will Rogers (1879 - 1935)
My mother buried three husbands, and two of them were just napping.
by Rita Rudner
I love deadlines. I especially love the whooshing sound they make as they fly by. by Douglas Adams Author, Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy.
I spent most of my money on booze and women. The rest I wasted.
by John Laws
How come the dove gets to be the peace symbol? How about the pillow? It has more feathers than the dove, and it doesn't have that dangerous beak.
by Jack Handey
One time a guy pulled a knife on me... I could tell it wasn't a professional job; it had butter on it. by Rodney Dangerfield
All I ask is a chance to prove that money can't make me happy.
by Ashleigh Brilliant
Forgive me now - tomorrow I may no longer feel guilty.
by Ashleigh Brilliant Insanity: doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results. -- Albert Einstein
I believe in equality for everyone, except reporters and photographers.
-- Mahatma Gandhi
#4
I see said the blind man
#5
"I am what I am" - Popeye?

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