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Complimentary Hotel Soap

sofatoad Avatar
8y, 1m agoPosted 8 years, 1 month ago
I found this item a few years ago. Please persevere with this it's quite funny.

The following letters are taken from an actual incident between a London hotel and one of its guests. The hotel ended up submitting the letters to the Sunday Times.
Dear Maid,

Please do not leave any more of those little bars of soap in
my bathroom since I have brought my own bath-sized Imperial

Please remove the six unopened little bars from the shelf
under the medicine chest and another three in the shower soap
dish. They are in my way.

Thank you,
S. Berman


Dear Room 635,
I am not your regular maid. She will be back tomorrow,
Thursday, from her day off.
I took the 3 hotel soaps out of the shower soap dish as you

The 6 bars on your shelf I took out of your way and put on
top of your Kleenex dispenser in case you should change your

This leaves only the 3 bars I left today which my
instructions from the management are to leave 3 soaps daily.

I hope this is satisfactory.
Relief Maid

Dear Maid
I hope you are my regular maid.
Apparently Kathy did not tell you about my note to her
concerning the little bars of soap. When I got back to my
room this evening, I found you had added 3 little Camays to
the shelf under my medicine cabinet.

I am going to be here in the hotel for two weeks and have
brought my own bath-size Imperial Leather, so I won't need
those 6 little Camays, which are on the shelf. They are in
the way when shaving, brushing teeth etc.

Please remove them.
S. Berman

Dear Mr Berman,
The assistant manager, Mr Kensedder, informed me this morning
that you called him last evening and said you were unhappy
with your maid service.

I have assigned a new girl to your room. I hope you will
accept my apologies for any past inconvenience.

If you have any future complaints, please contact me so I can
give it my personal attention. Call extension 1108 between
8AM and 5PM.

Thank you.
Elaine Carmen

Dear Miss Carmen,
It is impossible to contact you by phone since I leave the
hotel for business at 7:45 AM and don't get back before 5:30
or 6.00 PM. That's the reason I called Mr Kensedder last
night. You were already off duty. I only asked Mr Kensedder
if he could do anything about those little bars of soap.

The new maid you assigned me must have thought I was a new
check in today, since she left another 3 bars of hotel soap
in my medicine cabinet, along with her regular delivery of 3
bars on the bathroom shelf.

In just 5 days here I have accumulated 24 little bars of
soap. Why are you doing this to me?

S. Berman

Dear Mr Berman,
Your maid, Kathy, has been instructed to stop delivering soap
to your room and to remove the extra soaps.

If I can be of further assistance, please call extension 1108
between 8 AM and 5 PM.

Thank you,
Elaine Carmen,

Dear Mr Kensedder,
My bath-size Imperial Leather is missing.
Every bar of soap was taken from my room, including my own
bath-size Imperial Leather.

I came in late last night and had to call the bellhop to
bring me 4 little Cashmere Bouquets.

S. Berman

Dear Mr Berman,
I have informed our housekeeper, Elaine Carmen, of your soap

I cannot understand why there was no soap in your room since
our maids are instructed to leave 3 bars of soap each time
they service a room.

The situation will be rectified immediately.
Please accept my apologies for the inconvenience.
Martin L. Kensedder
Assistant Manager

Dear Mrs Carmen,
Who the hell left 54 little bars of Camay in my room?
I came in last night and found 54 little bars of soap. I
don't want 54 little bars of Camay. I want my one damn bar of
bath-size Imperial Leather.

Do you realise I have 54 bars of soap in here?
All I want is my bath-size Imperial Leather.
Please give me back my bath-size Imperial Leather.
S. Berman

Dear Mr Berman,
You complained of too much soap in your room, so I had them

Then you complained to Mr Kensedder that all your soap was
missing, so I personally returned them. The 24 Camays which
had been taken and the 3 Camays you are supposed to receive

I don't know anything about the 4 Cashmere Bouquets.
Obviously your maid, Kathy, did not know I had returned your
soaps, so she also brought 24 Camays plus the 3 daily Camays.

I don't know where you got the idea this hotel issues
bath-size Imperial Leather.

I was able to locate some bath-size Ivory which I left in your room.
Elaine Carmen

Dear Mrs Carmen,
Just a short note to bring you up-to-date on my latest soap

As of today I possess:
* On the shelf under the medicine cabinet -18 Camay in 4 stacks of 4 and 1
stack of 2.
* On the Kleenex dispenser - 11 Camay in 2 stacks of 4 and 1 stack of 3.
* On the bedroom dresser - 1 stack of 3 Cashmere Bouquet, 1stack of 4
hotel-size Ivory, and 8 Camay in 2 stacks of 4.
* Inside the medicine cabinet - 14 Camay in 3 stacks of 4 and 1 stack of 2.
* In the shower soap dish - 6 Camay, very moist.
* On the northeast corner of the tub - 1 Cashmere Bouquet, slightly used.
* On the northwest corner of the tub - 6 Camays in 2 stacks of 3.
Please ask Kathy when she services my room to make sure the
stacks are neatly piled and dusted. Also, please advise her
that stacks of more than 4 have a tendency to tip.

May I suggest that my bedroom window sill is not in use and
will make an excellent spot for future soap deliveries.

One more item, I have purchased another bar of bath-size
Imperial Leather, which I am keeping in the hotel vault in
order to avoid further misunderstandings.

S. Berman
sofatoad Avatar
8y, 1m agoPosted 8 years, 1 month ago

All Comments

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Hahahaha is this for real?
Apparently so, above & beyond the call of "room service", this actually happened in a London hotel.
i always take em home lol
lol very good!
you'd need an extra case to take those home with you !
i always take em home lol

yep saves buying presents:thumbsup:
the maid at disneyland paris left the trolley outside our room unattended...lots of little soap gifts for everyone!!!:whistling:
the maid at disneyland paris left the trolley outside our room unattended...lots of little soap gifts for everyone!!!:whistling: too????;-) Great arent they.

I like the daft wee shower caps and the sewing kits...Have never used a single one of em but you never know when you might need em eh?:whistling:
Oh i relocated so much when my o/h took me away to a posh hotel for my 30th He stopped me taking the robe meanie...did take the slippers!!!
"On the northeast corner of the tub..." LOL love it! TY :-D

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