A snail goes into a pub and asks the barman for a beer...
The barman gets hold of the snail and throws him out...
A week later the snail returns to the pub and says to the barman...
"What was that for?"
Waiter to customer: "Our specialty is snails."
Customer: "I know. One of them served me the last time I was here!"
Steven Spielberg was busy discussing his new action adventure about famous classical composers. Bruce Willis, Sylvester Stallone and Arnold Schwarzenegger were in the room.
"Who do you want to play?" Spielberg asked Bruce Willis. "I've always been a big fan of Chopin," said Bruce. "I'll play him."
"And you, Sylvester?" asked Spielberg. "Mozart's the one for me!" said Sly.
"And what about you?" Spielberg asked Arnold Schwarzenegger. "I'll be Bach," said Arnie