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csa

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simple question............ does anyone have any positive stories? Read More
loupomm Avatar
7y, 10m agoPosted 7 years, 10 months ago
simple question............

does anyone have any positive stories?
loupomm Avatar
7y, 10m agoPosted 7 years, 10 months ago
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banned#1
Bought my Mum plenty of new clothes, cigarettes and alcohol while me and my brother wore shoes with holes in and hand me downs from her friends children
#2
Be prepaired to be bent over and XXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
With not even a thank you.
I would get the sack from work it will be cheaper and leave you with more money.
#3
bigwheels
Be prepaired to be bent over and XXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
With not even a thank you.
I would get the sack from work it will be cheaper and leave you with more money.


i was meaning from the other point of view.... :p
#4
lumoruk
Bought my Mum plenty of new clothes, cigarettes and alcohol while me and my brother wore shoes with holes in and hand me downs from her friends children


I was in a similar boat (metaphorically, we didnt actually have a boat)

I went to work down the pits at the age of 14 so I could afford decent threads.

my dad's a ****
#5
MinstrelMan
I was in a similar boat (metaphorically, [COLOR="Red"]we didnt actually have a boat[/COLOR])

I went to work down the pits at the age of 14 so I could afford decent threads.

my dad's a ****


If the CSA had done their job, you could have had one :thumbsup:
#6
midlandscomics
If the CSA had done their job, you could have had one :thumbsup:


what planet are you on :?

good to see the old avatar back btw..... still makes me randomly chuckle when I see it.
#7
MinstrelMan
what plant are you on :?


http://sniggle.net/Images/plant1.jpg
#8
i dont want a boat, im not greedy, just whats fair, i hear stories of absent parents being fleeced by CSA yet 2 years later ive had nothing, was hoping there might be positive stories to give me hope lol
#9
snowflake
Took me 8 years for them to get some money out of my ex though them, no arrears though, then after a couple of months payment would stop/start etc etc. I have always found the csa understanding and polite, but nonetheless they didn't do all they could have imo.


this is my issue, they are nice enough but all i get it fobbed off, what happened to all the new regulations and stuff they can bring into force, siezing passports/driving licenses
#10
I found that its a very long slow process as the absent parent gets all the time in the world and CONSTANT gentle reminders to fill out the forms..........................it took me 2 years to finally get payment - and it was arrested straight out of his wages.

I agree with one of the other posters - the staff are always polite but I will give you a big tip here. Get yourself a notebook and keep a log of EVERY CALL you make. get that persons number - ask who your case officer is - get their name and their DIRECT NUMBER as you are entitled to that information.

If after a year you feel your getting no where and also feel the CSA not helping - get down to your local MP. I done that and hey presto things got moving fast.

Its a horrible process to go through and the absent parents should be mighty ashamed of themselves in not providing an acceptable amount in the first place. ..... but I feel that these absent parents forget that their young children wont be young forever, and one day they will be adults and be disgusted if they ever found out things like this. I think its shocking my ex husband has to get the money arrested out of his salary every month - how shameful as a parent.

rant over - and the very best of luck to you in this
#11
OP, my brother pays them x amount a month,it should be a lot more but his boss(a m8) started paying half his wages via cheques.
he sees his son every week without fail and spends loads on him etc

good advice if you're male and not soo good if you're female:thumbsup:







*waits to get abuse*
#12
Is there no talking to the man?

I can't believe some of you have to do this, I have 2 children and could not see them go without, nor their mother, (even if I can't get on with her!) I made my choice and had children with her. It's unbelievable how some men just walk away and never look back but yet they sleep at night.

Does he work and is able to give you money but doesn't?

Anyway, sorry I can't help with a positive story. Good luck
#13
jtx
Is there no talking to the man?

I can't believe some of you have to do this, I have 2 children and could not see them go without, nor their mother, (even if I can't get on with her!) I made my choice and had children with her. It's unbelievable how some men just walk away and never look back but yet they sleep at night.

Does he work and is able to give you money but doesn't?

Anyway, sorry I can't help with a positive story. Good luck


I think the arguement is how SOME women fleece the father for all they can get and the money doesnt go on the child.

On the flip side what about those women who refuse the father contact with their child.
banned#14
transit
OP, my brother pays them x amount a month,it should be a lot more but his boss(a m8) started paying half his wages via cheques.
he sees his son every week without fail and spends loads on him etc

good advice if you're male and not soo good if you're female:thumbsup:
*waits to get abuse*


lol wow just wow what a good idea, will have to remember this :w00t:
banned#15
tinkerbell28
Not abuse but what your mate is doing and his boss is actually fraud, I can see why some may resort to this but defrauding the taxman, is never wise, nor is admitting it.


CSA isn't the taxman :)
#16
MinstrelMan
I think the arguement is how SOME women fleece the father for all they can get and the money doesnt go on the child.

On the flip side what about those women who refuse the father contact with their child.


access to a child isnt based on a pay per view basis
#17
bossyboots
access to a child isnt based on a pay per view basis


I never said it was, but there will be women somehwre who take maintainance and still not let the father see the child.
#18
Only time CSA get money out of people is when they are paying already, I have been paying them for 13 years, never missed a payment, but, unfortunately, it is so easy to dodge them if you are a sh*tbag and don't care about your children. i now have a private arrangement with my ex and we are both quite happy cutting out the middle-man. Hope you get sorted.
#19
I helped to have the law changed when the CSA decided they wanted to take all my money.:p

(Nights a child stays with an absent partner per year with or without benefits.):thumbsup:

My ex decided to lie :whistling: to the CSA and now, the money is being paid back.:-D
#20
snowflake
And lots who dont get a penny and dont prevent the children from seeing their Father. :?

(In fact it actually use to cost me financially to take my children to meet their Father, without receiving a penny from him and without them receiving anything from him personally - christmas presents/birthday presents etc)


thats already been discussed, I'm not agreeing with it I'm just showing the flip side.
banned#21
you are ****ed plain and simple i have nothing to good to say about csa at all,
#22
jtx
Is there no talking to the man?

I can't believe some of you have to do this, I have 2 children and could not see them go without, nor their mother, (even if I can't get on with her!) I made my choice and had children with her. It's unbelievable how some men just walk away and never look back but yet they sleep at night.

Does he work and is able to give you money but doesn't?

Anyway, sorry I can't help with a positive story. Good luck


no talking to him at all, all i get is excuses...he has bills to pay, petrol to buy, rent to pay etc... yes hes working, i get he has bills but he should still contribute no matter how small, i get told it costs him to feed them when he has them so he does his bit :shock: he has had then one weekend since the beginning of march

MinstrelMan
I think the arguement is how SOME women fleece the father for all they can get and the money doesnt go on the child.

On the flip side what about those women who refuse the father contact with their child.


some women yes... but my kids are well looked after and want for nothing,i 'manage' without his money but why should i? any money i get would make things easier for us, and ive NEVER said he cant see the kids, its him that is constantly letting them down, as said above once since march (meant to be fortnightly) his last excuse was no money for petrrol, yet in the same phone call told my kids they had bought 3 kittens, not fair

my son has his footie year to pay for this week, i paid it last year and will struggle to do it, i asked him to ask his dad to help when he called, my son then said he will prob have to drop out then, i wouldnt let this happen, i will sell something, but i shouldnt have to :-(
#23
tinkerbell28
Not abuse but what your mate is doing and his boss is actually fraud, I can see why some may resort to this but defrauding the taxman, is never wise, nor is admitting it.


yes it is fraud but needs must:thumbsup:
#24
MinstrelMan
I think the arguement is how SOME women fleece the father for all they can get and the money doesnt go on the child.

On the flip side what about those women who refuse the father contact with their child.


Ok I missed that:oops:

Thing is, I will always make sure my children are well looked after, even after all the things I know/feel etc I know she will look after my kids. If she didn't do that and decided to spend the money on herself and clothes etc then I would simply take my kids to be with me.

Plenty of fathers don't care if their children are looked after, clothed properly, fed properly, loved.......

As for some women... They play games and try to use their children as weapons to hurt the man and turn his own children against them.

Two wrongs don't make a right:thumbsup:
#25
MinstrelMan
I never said it was, but there will be women somehwre who take maintainance and still not let the father see the child.


And am sure that there would many a good reason in some of those cases why the mother wont let the father see the children. I have been a registered foster parent for 8 years and the stories are just horrendous BUT just because the absent parent doesnt get to see their children DOES NOT mean they shouldnt pay for their childs upkeep.
#26
bossyboots
And am sure that there would many a good reason in some of those cases why the mother wont let the father see the children. I have been a registered foster parent for 8 years and the stories are just horrendous BUT just because the absent parent doesnt get to see their children DOES NOT mean they shouldnt pay for their childs upkeep.


You point me to where I've said anything to the contrary?

Don't give me the "i've been a foster parent for xxxxx" my mother in law has been one for 20, I'm well aware of the stories.
#27
MinstrelMan
You point me to where I've said anything to the contrary?

Don't give me the "i've been a foster parent for xxxxx" my mother in law has been one for 20, I'm well aware of the stories.


If your well aware of the stories, then I am suprised at your postings on this thread
#28
the answer to that is definately not! but plenty of horror stories
#29
why, because I'm open minded and pointing out to seemingly narrow minded people that there is a flip side?

You keep comming back on "my postings" you've yet to quote me and tell me I'm wrong, you're implying statments I've not made.
#30
MinstrelMan
why, because I'm open minded and pointing out to seemingly narrow minded people that there is a flip side?

You keep comming back on "my postings" you've yet to quote me and tell me I'm wrong, you're implying statments I've not made.


Are you saying my post seemed narrow minded:?
#31
tinkerbell28
He won't be saying that when he gets caught, which he will do if he keeps telling mates about it who blag on an internet forum.

Back when I was at uni, I had an employer that when to prison along with an employee for doing exactly that, then found out the idiot had been taking my ni etc from my paye and the tax office had no record, took months to sort out with the tax man and I had done nothing wrong, I had all the payslips to show my hours had been taxed etc properly along with my clocking record, you will get more time for tax fraud than you will for murder in this country, so it's not trivial.


its small time compared to those who are self imployed via their own limited company, they pay themselves minimum wage which they get taxed and NI'd on the rest they take as dividends, ok they still have to pay 20% corporation tax, but people like CSA cant touch the XXX amount of pounds they take a month, but only that 20% or so CSA allowance of their wage, which will be roughly around £20 per week.
#32
jtx
Are you saying my post seemed narrow minded:?


not aimed at you.
#33
tinkerbell28
He won't be saying that when he gets caught, which he will do if he keeps telling mates about it who blag on an internet forum.

Back when I was at uni, I had an employer that when to prison along with an employee for doing exactly that, then found out the idiot had been taking my ni etc from my paye and the tax office had no record, took months to sort out with the tax man and I had done nothing wrong, I had all the payslips to show my hours had been taxed etc properly along with my clocking record, you will get more time for tax fraud than you will for murder in this country, so it's not trivial.


well i think he'll take his chances,,hes my brother and his boss is my m8 btw

oh and i havent named names to protect the innocent
#34
transit
well i think he'll take his chances,,hes my brother and his boss is my m8 btw

oh and i havent named names to protect the innocent



Rather than question the legalities of what your brother is doing, my question is your brother obviously loves his son as you say he sees him every weekend without fail. In which case, why is he breaking the law to make sure he doesn't have to pay as much as he should to help the mother support his son? That's the part I can't understand :?
#35
Charlie&Lola
Rather than question the legalities of what your brother is doing, my question is your brother obviously loves his son as you say he sees him every weekend without fail. In which case, why is he breaking the law to make sure he doesn't have to pay as much as he should to help the mother support his son? That's the part I can't understand :?


its simple really, he doesnt want his ex getting her hands on his money,he'd rather spend his money buying stuff for his son. his sons only 2 btw
#36
snowflake
You put that so much better than me lol :roll:


you did ok:thumbsup:




btw is the friend back from china?
#37
transit
its simple really, he doesnt want his ex getting her hands on his money,he'd rather spend his money buying stuff for his son. his sons only 2 btw


Whilst his intentions might be right, the practical side of this isn't. I've had furious rows with my kids dads because he doesn't give me a lot each month, and what he does give me, he started to try and demand receipts so he could see where his money was being spent. He soon shut up though after being reminded that as well as food and clothes (which is all he thought the kids needed) there are also electric and gas bills(which increase when you have kids due to keeping the house warmer for the kids and the tv/dvd's/consoles that they use), nappy costs, petrol costs in taking them to/from school and nursery, buying nursery and school uniforms and the extras at school/nursery that they need like school trips, taking them on days out and treating them when they are out, buying birthdays pressies for their friends when they are invited to parties, and that's probably not all of the extra costs, but all I can remember off the top of my head.

A lot of fathers seem to be paranoid about the amount they give their ex to care for their child/children and assume the mother must be spending it on herself, but there are so many other things that are often forgotten about and it's these extras that use up all the money each month.
#38
Charlie&Lola
Whilst his intentions might be right, the practical side of this isn't. I've had furious rows with my kids dads because he doesn't give me a lot each month, and what he does give me, he started to try and demand receipts so he could see where his money was being spent. He soon shut up though after being reminded that as well as food and clothes (which is all he thought the kids needed) there are also electric and gas bills(which increase when you have kids due to keeping the house warmer for the kids and the tv/dvd's/consoles that they use), nappy costs, petrol costs in taking them to/from school and nursery, buying nursery and school uniforms and the extras at school/nursery that they need like school trips, taking them on days out and treating them when they are out, buying birthdays pressies for their friends when they are invited to parties, and that's probably not all of the extra costs, but all I can remember off the top of my head.

A lot of fathers seem to be paranoid about the amount they give their ex to care for their child/children and assume the mother must be spending it on herself, but there are so many other things that are often forgotten about and it's these extras that use up all the money each month.


i appreciate what you're saying, but my bro's ex has another partner and they both work soo its kinda the opposite from your story.
#39
transit
i appreciate what you're saying, but my bro's ex has another partner and they both work soo its kinda the opposite from your story.


Well, whatever arrangements he's making about he financial side, credit where it's due, seeing his son every week is fantastic. So many parents struggle to get the absent parent to spend regular time with their kids, so it's nice to hear about a father that sees their child so frequently and actually wants to and enjoys it :thumbsup:
banned#40
jellybaby22
pointless.....they have my ex's details and he still hasnt paid a penny almost a year after we split......:x


Maybe he's not got an 'official' job, it's a lot easier if they have an official job as it comes straight out of the wage slip.

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